Bella Swan: Kidnapper
by Kambria Rain
Summary: Um. Hi. I don’t really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The only characters that are mine are Leo, Ethan, and Sophie. (And Casey, but she's unimportant.) Also, _do not kidnap children_. It will not get you an Edward. It _will_ get you arrested. I'm just looking out for ya!**

**If you haven't already, I recommend reading "Holding Out For You" by ObsessingOverEdward. It's what made me want to write a Daddyward. You can find it in my favorites.  
**

* * *

**Bella**

I looked at the overflowing shopping cart in front of me. I had just gone in the grocery store for some milk, dang it. I knew who was responsible for this. "Leonardo Swan, get your ass over here." A little old lady gasped at my crudeness. "Sorry," I said.

A little shrimp with light brown hair came tearing around the corner with as many cereal boxes as his arms could carry. That was my seven year old heartthrob. He somehow found room in the cart for the boxes and grinned up at me. "I got everything on my list. We can go now."

"Let me see this list," I replied, holding out one hand while putting the other on my hip. It was my most intimidating Mom stance.

"Mom," he tapped his temple with his index finger. "It's all up here."

"Smartass," I grumbled.

He held out his hand, wiggling his fingers. I huffed and pulled a dollar out of my pocket and forked it over. We had a no cursing rule that was making my kid a fortune. "Thanks Mom," he said happily.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied. The shrill sound of a crying kid filled the air. "Time to go," I announced, pushing the cart towards the checkout lanes. We had just made it to the end of the aisle when someone crashed their cart into mine.

"Would you watch where you're going?" the bitch snapped loud enough to be heard over the screaming little girl in her cart.

I put on a shocked face. "Oh my God, that's a brilliant idea! Thank you!" Unlike cursing, sarcasm didn't cost me anything. "Let's go Leo."

"Excuse you," the woman replied, clearly offended and in need of a drink. She began ranting in a pitch so high I doubt dogs could even hear it.

I rolled my eyes and started to walk away, but my little one seemed to have other plans. He walked over to the woman's cart and offered the crying kid a lollipop. He always had one or two on hand. "Please don't cry."

She stopped, only sniffling a little as she took the candy. My kid had superpowers.

"Come on Leo," I said softly. This time he followed me. "You're a pretty cool guy; you know that?" I ruffled his soft hair. "Now help me unload all this junk."

We made quick work of unloading the cart, and with a swipe of my credit card, we were out of there. I lifted the cover on the back of my big monster of a truck and Leo helped me put all the unnecessary snacks in the back. Then I watched him closely as he pushed the cart to its rightful place.

"For the love of God, would you shut up?" The banshee and the poor crying girl were now outside.

"Don't talk to her like that!" A boy about Leo's size yelled back.

The witch rounded on the little guy with fire in her eyes. She dug her claws into his little arm. "You. Do. Not. Yell. At. Me."

"Let go," he whimpered. "You're hurting me!"

Leo came back to stand beside me, his eyes worried as he watched the scene, "Mom?"

"I don't give a shit. I want you and that little brat to shut up and get in the car," she practically screamed at the boy.

"Get in the truck," I told my son. He hesitated, but did as I told him.

"You can't tell me what to do. You're not my mother!" the boy shouted at the woman defiantly.

When she raised her hand to hit him, I was over there before she could even blink. "You hit that kid, and I'll kick your ass."

"This is none of your business," she snapped back. "Ethan, get in the damn car. I'll deal with you when we get home." She started putting her bags in the trunk of her luxury car like I wasn't even there.

Something in me snapped. I shoved her hard, causing her to shriek and fall over in the trunk. Then I grabbed the little girl and took Ethan's hand. He was too busy looking over his shoulder in shock to watch where we were running as I pulled him along. I put them both in the back seat with Leo.

"Buckle in! Buckle in!" The banshee was getting up, and boy was she pissed. I locked the doors and took off.

When we were safely out of the parking lot, the reality of the situation crashed down on me. I had just kidnapped a couple of kids! I was either going to prison or the nut house. For a few minutes there was complete silence. The kids were obviously as shocked about this as I was.

"Hi. I'm Leonardo Swan, and I'm seven. That lady who kidnapped you is my mom, Bella." Leave it to Leo. "What's your name?"

"I'm Ethan Cullen. I'm seven too," the other boy replied. "And that's my little sister Sophie. She's three."

"Um Ethan," I started, not having a clue what to do. This was new territory. I had never kidnapped a child before. "Could you tell me who your parents are? I should probably contact them." That seemed like a wise thing to do.

"Our Dad's name is Edward Cullen," he answered.

Edward Cullen. Not ringing any bells. Of course Leo and I had only lived here a week, but it was one of those small ritzy towns where everybody knew everybody's business. I was obviously off to a good start.

"Do you know his phone number?"

Ethan called out some numbers, and I quickly punched them into my cell. This was going to be interesting.

After a few rings, I got his voice mail. "Um. Hi. My name is Bella Swan. I don't really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me." I smacked my forehead.

The kids were quiet again as I pulled up to my house. The thing was way too big for just Leo and I, but all the houses in this neighborhood were. I was either surrounded by a lot of rich people or a lot of people in serious debt. The landscaping was beautiful regardless.

I thought Leo would run straight to his room, but he and Ethan each took a couple of grocery bags before going inside. Ethan was a cute little guy. His hair was darker than Leo's, and he had green eyes. Both he and his sister were dressed like little posh people, so I hoped Leo didn't get them too messy. I was going to be in enough trouble with their parents as it was.

Little Sophie was still standing in the truck; she was too short to get down on her own. I held out my arms, and she let me help her down without a fuss. She had the most adorable reddish curls, and her soft cheeks were stained with tears.

"Rough day, huh?" I grabbed the rest of the bags and motioned for her to follow me. "I think we could all use some ice cream."

I heard the boys chattering away as they ran from one room to another. Leo was giving Ethan a speed tour I supposed. I quickly put away the groceries before turning back to Sophie who was staring up at me innocently. I picked her up and sat her on the counter. "Well Miss Sophie, would you like some ice cream now?"

"Yes please," she replied in quite possibly the sweetest voice I'd ever heard. I gently wiped her cheeks with my thumbs before grabbing everything we would need. "Boys! Sophie and I are eating ice cream if you want some!" I heard their thunderous footsteps coming down the stairs.

They each got a couple of scoops that I let them decorate however they liked. There were sprinkles, gummy bears, whipped cream, and different flavors of syrup all over the place before they were finished.

"Mom, Ethan's dad builds stuff! Isn't that cool?" Leo beamed.

"Really?" I asked Ethan.

He nodded. "He and my uncles build houses and stuff."

At least they weren't cops. "That's awesome," I smiled, ruffling his hair. He froze for a second, but then smiled at me before getting back to his ice cream.

I pulled out the phone book and began flipping through the pages. Cullen Construction was listed in big, bold letters. "Alright kiddos, let's get you all sticky free and then go meet your dad. I'm sure he's worried sick about you." And preparing to kill me.

Leo and Ethan ran to use the half bath while I took care of Sophie's hands and cheeks with a damp cloth. She smiled at me. "Thank you, Bella."

"For what?" I asked.

"Ice cream, silly," she giggled.

"You're welcome. Maybe you can convince your daddy not to let the police take me away now," I smiled, picking her up. "Let's go guys!"

The ride was a lot less quiet this time. Leo and Ethan were apparently best friends now, and they were even nice enough to keep Sophie entertained. I followed the GPS's directions and pulled into the company's lot, right next to the police cruiser. Fantastic.

Before I could stop them, the boys were running inside. Sophie held up her arms for me to pick her up. "Ready to see Daddy?" I asked. She wrapped her little arms around my neck and nodded.

I didn't even make it to the door with her before it flung open. "You've got some nerve just waltzing up here, lady! Who the hell do you think you are?"

"You must be Edward. I assure you they were safer with me than Nanny Nutjob," I said calmly. The handsome red-faced man in front of me was obviously not happy.

"I'm not their damn nanny! I'm Edward's girlfriend!" The banshee was here too. Goodie. "That's her, Eddie! That's the bitch that attacked me and kidnapped poor little Ethan and Sophie." Her shrill voice caused Sophie to bury her face in my neck. I didn't blame her, so I held her tighter. "Arrest her, Jake!"

The large officer started to approach me, but the door flung open again. Seriously, it was like something from a soap opera. A gorgeous blonde stormed out, but before she could get too far, this huge bear of a man came running out after her. "Rosie wait!" He grabbed her arms.

"Let me go Emmett! I'm gonna kill the bitch!" she screamed

This was getting ridiculous. Poor Sophie was clinging to me for dear life, so I rubbed her back gently.

"Just calm down Rosalie," the officer replied. "I'll take her in."

"I'm not talking about her!" she yelled, fighting to get free. "I'm talking about Casey!"

Well, that got everyone's attention.

"What are you talking about, Rosalie?" Edward asked, his voice deadly.

"Ethan has claw marks on his arm. He said Casey grabbed him and was about to hit him when the other kid's mom cut in," Rosalie said through her teeth. It looked like the heat was off me for a moment.

The banshee shrieked. "Eddie, surely you don't-"

"Get in your car and get out of my sight," Edward growled. It was kind of hot. "Now!"

Another shrill scream and tires were squealing as the psycho sped out of the lot.

Sophie waved, "Bye-bye." I loved that kid.

Crap. All eyes were on me again. "So," I cleared my throat. "If you take your kid, I'll get mine, and we'll just get out of your hair." Sophie tightened her hold on my neck again. Guess she liked me.

"I appreciate you helping my children," Edward said begrudgingly, "But you could have let me know. Ethan has my number. There's no excuse."

"Check your voice mail, genius." I saved his kids from the she-devil, albeit I also kidnapped them, but I really wasn't the bad guy here.

I swear steam came out of his ears, but I didn't care. I pushed past him and marched inside, "Leo!" He came tearing around the corner. "It's time to go."

"Yes Mom," he pouted and headed for the car with me close behind him.

Ethan ran out after us. "Bella? Where are you going?"

Shit. "Honey, I've got to get home." That was when I realized Sophie was still on my hip. "Oh." I set her down. Now they were both looking up at me with sad faces. Double shit. "Look. Here's my phone number. I would kidnap you again, but there's a huge cop outside that might arrest me. You guys be good, and I'll see you later."

I made a quick getaway, passing the huddle of arguing adults and jumping in my truck. Leo was already strapped in and grinning. "That was so cool, Mom! Can we kidnap them again tomorrow?"

* * *

**Edward**

"Where is that damn cell phone?" I lifted the papers on my desk, shifting them around in my search. I had it when I came in this morning, then at the meeting with Emmett. It was probably still in his office, so I headed down the hall and reached for the doorknob.

"_Ungh_! Oh _God_… Emmett!… _baby_!"

My hand jerked away from the door. I would need to bleach my brain now and possibly buy a new phone.

Apparently little Nathanial was with Nana Esme because his mommy and daddy were working on baby number two in Emmett's office. I shouldn't be surprised. My brothers did enjoy fun times at the office. Jasper was usually doing the same thing up until recently. Now he was busy rushing out to take care of my bedridden sister-in-law's latest craving.

I went out to the front desk. We needed to hire a new secretary, but I didn't have the patience to deal with it. Being the only unmarried Cullen had its disadvantages. I had two kids, but that did nothing to stop the single and looking.

After enough time for Rosalie and Emmett to finish their quickie, I decided to head back up and get my phone. However, I was stopped when Casey ran through the door without my children.

"Eddie!" She threw her arms around me, whimpering into my shirt.

"Casey, where are the kids?" I asked, taking her by the arms and pushing her back a little. I would have been more caring with her, but those kids were my life.

"Eddie, some crazy woman at the grocery store attacked me. I tried to fight her off, but she crashed into me with a shopping cart and shoved me into the trunk of my car. I didn't even see her coming," she rambled hysterically.

"Casey, where are my children?" I asked slowly.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "She took them. Babe, I'm so sorry. Sophie was screaming; Ethan was yelling. It was so horrible."

"EMMETT!" I grabbed the phone and called the police.

Emmett and Rosalie came running down the hall. Casey managed to tell them what happened while I talked to an officer. He said they would send someone right over.

I dropped the phone and collapsed against the wall. My children had been kidnapped. Casey tried to comfort me, but I shrugged her off. I didn't want to be comforted. I wanted my kids. They were probably so scared, and I wasn't there for them.

"Jake's here," Emmett said softly. I knew he was upset too.

The more Jacob talked, the angrier I became. He asked Casey and I question after question about what had happened and who might want to hurt them. We were wasting time; I wanted to be out there looking for them. Who knew what that psycho was doing to them? This had to be about money. I would pay anything to get them back. I just needed them back.

"Dad!" My head snapped up as Ethan ran in with another little boy. "This is my friend Leo. He just moved here from Washington."

I quickly swept him up in my arms. "Oh thank God." I squeezed him tightly. "Where is your sister?"

"Dad," he whined, embarrassed by my display in front of his friend. "Calm down. She's outside with Bella." I handed him to Emmett and rushed outside, not caring who followed me.

The psycho woman was holding my little girl, and I was beyond angry. "You've got some nerve just waltzing up here, lady! Who the hell do you think you are?"

"You must be Edward. I assure you they were safer with me than Nanny Nutjob." She was out of her damn mind.

I heard Casey screaming, but I was too upset to focus on anything but that woman. How could she be so damn calm after kidnapping two innocent children.

Rosalie's vicious words got through to me. "Let me go Emmett! I'm gonna kill the bitch!" she screamed. I felt the same way, but Jake tried to calm her down. "I'm not talking about her!" she yelled, trying to get out of Emmett's grasp. "I'm talking about Casey!"

My blood ran cold. "What are you talking about Rosalie?"

"Ethan has claw marks on his arm. He said Casey grabbed him and was about to hit him when the other kid's Mom cut in," she explained.

Casey? Casey hurt my son? She was a fucking preschool teacher, but Ethan was not a liar. I knew I was shaking now. She needed to get out of here before I killed her myself. No one hurt my kids.

Casey froze next to me. "Eddie, surely you don't-"

"Get in your car and get out of my sight. Now!" I clinched my fists, trying to control myself. I couldn't go to prison for murder, but it was tempting. I wished Emmett would let Rosalie go, so Casey could at least get her ass kicked. When she was gone, I felt myself relax a little. I turned back to the woman with my child. Funny, she didn't look so psychotic now that I knew the truth.

"So… if you take your kid, I'll get mine, and we'll just get out of your hair," she said, and Sophie surprised me by hanging onto her.

"I appreciate you helping my children, but you could have let me know. Ethan has my number. There's no excuse." What was she thinking? She had no idea the horrible scenarios that had been playing in my head.

"Check your voice mail, genius," she snapped before storming past me.

I turned to go after her, but Rosalie caught my arm. "Are you crazy? That woman stopped your children from being abused, and you're being rude to her? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Look, I'm sorry. I know… It's just… God, Rose. I thought someone was out there torturing them. I couldn't find my phone, so I never got the message." I grabbed a handful of my hair out of frustration.

"Oh," Emmett cringed. "Sorry about that, bro. Your phone is in my office." He flinched when I glared at him. "Dude, don't worry. We put it in a drawer before we-"

"I know what happened next, Emmett; I heard." I needed to stop snapping at everyone before I got decked.

I heard tires squeal again as the woman's truck sped away. Well, that was just great. She left before I could thank her. "Daddy?" I dropped to my knees and took my two little ones in my arms. "I love you two so much." I pulled back to look at them. They both looked a little sad. "Ethan, buddy I'm so sorry that Casey hurt you." He never liked any of the women I dated, but there was nothing he could have done to deserve that.

"She was screaming at Sophie," he whispered. "She was just crying because we were hungry."

I hugged them again. "I'm so sorry. She'll never hurt you again." I stood up, holding them both. I was happy that Ethan let me hold him even though he was getting so big. "Are you guys still hungry?"

"Bella gave us some ice cream," said Ethan.

"With sprinkles," Sophie smiled.

"Can Leo come over sometime, Dad? He showed me his room. I want to show him mine. Please," said Ethan. Leo must have been Bella's son.

I took the kids inside. "We'll see, okay? I'll have to talk to his mom first."

"Okay," he conceded. "Thanks Dad."

Rosalie eventually convinced me to let the kids go. She took them with her to pick up Nate and then visit Alice. Since Alice couldn't leave the bed, she insisted that her nephews and niece come over for pajama parties to keep her sane.

"Here's your phone," said Emmett, setting my Blackberry on my desk and grinning like an idiot. "You've got a missed call."

I threw a book at him as he ran out of my office. I sighed and picked up the phone, dialing voicemail to hear my one new message.

_"Um. Hi. My name is Bella Swan. I don't really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. So yeah… call me."_

I let out a snort. Then a chuckle. Before I knew it, I was laughing loudly. Bella Swan was insane, but for that, I was eternally grateful.


	2. Chapter 2

**Bella**

"Mom," he whispered. I groaned and burrowed deeper into the covers. "Mommy?" If I didn't move, he'd go away. "Momma," he sang. The kid was too persistent. "Madre." He knew Spanish now? "Mum? Mummy? Mumsy?" I put a pillow over my head and attempted to block out the noise. The little monster straddled me. "MOTHER!"

"_WHAT_?" I finally yelled back.

"Oh good, you're awake," Leo smiled.

"Why you little-" I grabbed him around the waist and pinned him to the bed before tickling him mercilessly. His desperate pleading fell on deaf ears. I would let him up eventually, but this is what he got for waking me up.

The doorbell rang, causing me to freeze and cover Leo's mouth with my hand. I brought my finger to my lips, letting him know to stay quiet. When he nodded, I tiptoed over to the window. There were no cars out front, so that only meant one thing. Neighbors. I had only met a few people in the neighborhood, none of which I cared to spend more time with than necessary.

"Leo," I whispered. "Get dressed. We're sneaking out."

Next door, on our right, lived Laurent and Irina. They seemed like the average couple at first, but my unhealthy need to save people caused me to learn otherwise. How was I supposed to know that Irina liked it rough? Luckily so did Laurent, so he didn't press charges when I clubbed him with Leo's baseball bat. Instead he invited me to join them. I hadn't been able to face them since.

Directly across the street was Tanya, the only other single woman on the block. In the short time I lived here, more men have been in her house than I even knew. Maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but she would definitely benefit from having a revolving door installed. I met her when she came over to make a date with my cable guy. She did score me a few free channels, so I guess she wasn't too bad.

I got dressed as quickly as possible, throwing on a pair of shorts and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle tee shirt. The mysterious neighbor had given up with the doorbell and was knocking in cheerful little patterns. I sat down to put on my shoes when Leo came in. He grinned when he saw my shirt. My mom threw a fit when I named my kid after a ninja turtle, but Leo thought it was awesome.

"Ready to go?" I asked, grabbing my bag.

He nodded. "I used the spy-cam. It's Mrs. Newton."

Mike and Jessica Newton lived down the street with their perfect daughter Tara. Jessica was the neighborhood gossip queen. I knew if I opened that door I would be trapped for hours listening to exaggerated tales about everyone else's business. I had just woke up. I couldn't handle that.

Leo and I crept through the house and eased out the back door. We crouched down and hurried across the lawn to the fence that separated my yard from the neighbor's. I spotted Leo as he climbed up. Thankfully, the drop to the ground wasn't too far for him, so he was able to jump down by himself. I quickly climbed up and dropped down beside him on the other side, landing in the soft green grass.

"Should I add trespassing to your record now?"

I jumped and whipped around. The officer from Cullen Construction was standing on the back patio wearing only tennis shoes and gym shorts with a bottle of water in his hand. "Uh… hi. Sorry, I didn't know anyone lived here. We were just passing through," I said.

He pulled a white tee shirt over his head before walking over to us. "Whoa," said Leo, looking up at him. "You're huge!"

He laughed in response. "Bella and Leo, it's nice to officially meet you both. I'm Jacob Black. Feel free to escape through my yard anytime."

"Thanks," I smiled. "I owe you one."

"How are you getting away?" he asked out of curiosity.

"Oh, I was prepared for this. I parked my truck down the street. Otherwise, we would have used our bikes," I explained. "We're about to head out for breakfast," I glanced at my watch, "Er… lunch." It was later than I thought.

"Do you want to come with us?" Leo asked.

Jacob grinned back at him. "Maybe next time, buddy. I've got to get to work."

"Thanks again. We'll see you around," I took Leo's hand and tugged him along. Jessica was still busy knocking on our door, so we were able to make it to the truck without her seeing. I knew I would have to face her eventually, but today wasn't the day.

I took Leo to the diner in town. It was a cute little retro place with milkshakes to die for.

Leo sat across from me in our booth. "Mom, I made a list of things to get at the hardware store. I want us to build a tree house."

"Alright," I consented, "but first tell me where we're going to get the tree."

"Mom," he groaned. "We don't have to have a tree. It just has to be off the ground. Can we try? Please?"

As a parent, I had yet to master the art of telling my child no, but I didn't know the first thing about building a tree house. "Do you have an actual list this time? It's not in your head?" He produced said list, and I was impressed with his research. "Fine, but we should get some hardhats just in case."

I had never seen Leo eat so quickly in his rush to get to the hardware store. I didn't know what half of the stuff was on that list. Neither did Leo, but that did nothing to dampen his enthusiasm. He practically ran inside once we got there. I considered putting him on a leash, but I settled for walking behind him, pushing the cart.

A nice guy took a quick glance at the tree house list before going in the back to get the wood. He gave Leo a pair of goggles and let him watch as he cut the pieces into the proper lengths. That left me to find the other stuff.

"What the hell is a dowel?" I grumbled, looking over the list.

"Aisle three," someone replied.

I turned around to find a handsome blond standing behind me. He looked slightly apologetic. "Sorry ma'am. I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

"Tell me where to find a Japanese handsaw, and I'll graciously forgive you," I replied.

"Aisle six," he smiled back. "Looks like a pretty serious project you've got there," he said, pointing at the ridiculous amount of stuff in my cart.

"My son insists that he and I can build a tree house. I don't know how he talks me into these things," I confessed. Then I held out my hand, "Hi. I'm Bella Swan."

His eyes widened. That was never a good thing. "Bella Swan? As in the infamous kidnapper?"

I groaned and closed my eyes. I was never going to live that one down. "In my defense, I fed them ice cream and gave them back."

"I know," he laughed. "I'm Jasper Cullen, Ethan and Sophie's uncle. Edward's in here somewhere."

"Edward?" The furious father? "Thanks for the warning. It was nice meeting you!" I started pushing my cart as fast as I could. The stupid thing was heavier than I thought though.

"Nice to meet you too," Jasper called after me. He was getting far too much amusement out of this.

My getaway came to a crashing halt.

"Mom!" There stood Leo, next to a cart full of lumber, that was being pushed by none other than Edward Cullen.

"Shit."

Leo gasped and held out his hand. I huffed and gave him a dollar.

"Bella," said Edward, interrupting a perfectly good awkward moment. "I didn't get a chance to apologize for the way I reacted yesterday. I really am grateful that you stepped in and helped my children," the corner of his mouth pulled upward, "even if you did kidnap them."

Ugh! I knew that was coming. "Really, don't mention it. Let's go, Leo." I grabbed both carts, planning to push one and pull the other, but nothing ever turned out the way I needed it to. The lumber cart didn't budge.

"Allow me," Edward offered, walking past me and pushing the treacherous cart with ease. Smug bastard.

I followed him with the other one. "You don't have to do that. I'll come back for that one. It's no big deal."

"Don't be silly," he replied. "It is the least I can do." He pushed it right up to the checkout, and I followed him irritably.

"You're not very good at avoiding people," said Jasper, appearing at my side and dropping a few items in my shopping cart. "You forgot the dowels and handsaw."

"Thanks," I grumbled.

"My pleasure," he smiled. "Now if you will kindly step out of the way, we men will take care of this."

Before I knew it, I was following Edward and Jasper out to _my_ truck to unload _my _stuff. They let Leo help them, but I was instructed to stand aside and let them take care of the so-called man's work. That was complete bullshit. I was going to be the one building the stupid tree house, or attempting to anyway.

"You're all set," Edward announced, closing the tailgate. "Have a lovely day, Bella." He patted Leo's shoulder and strolled away with Jasper. Unbelievable.

Leo chattered excitedly the whole way home. It didn't take us long to get everything unloaded. I was perfectly capable of doing it without a man's help.

We decided to wait and begin construction the next day, opting to go to the park instead. I packed us up some snacks and a blanket while Leo grabbed a Frisbee and our roller blades. The park wasn't too far away, so we were there in no time. It was a nice place with plenty of bike paths, a pond, and a playground. There were several other children there, so Leo set off to make new friends while I spread out a blanket and opened a book.

I got so lost in the pages that I didn't even hear my son coming. "Mom, look who I found!"

After marking my page, I looked up. Edward's mini-me was standing next to Leo. "Hi Ethan," I smiled.

"Hi Bella," he replied, somewhat shyly.

"Mom, you need to rescue Ethan and Sophie again. Their babysitter is scary," said Leo. Ethan nodded in agreement.

I sat up and put my book away. "What do you mean by scary?" I asked.

"She's trying to make us like her, so she can be Dad's next girlfriend, and she's trying to get Sophie to call her Mommy," said Ethan. "Can we please go home with you?"

This was seriously killing me. "Guys," I sighed. "I'm sorry, but I can't steal you away from your babysitter just because you don't like her." Both of their faces fell making me feel even worse. "Look, I promise to call your dad later and see if you can come over, okay?"

Ethan nodded sadly. "Okay," he said quietly.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get away from him before I caved. "Leo, I'm going to load up the truck and run to the restroom. We need to be getting home, so I can start dinner."

"Alright Mom," he replied, looking down at his feet.

I quickly gathered everything before I could change my mind. I threw it all in the backseat of the truck before rushing to the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face while I was in there. Those kids were going to be the death of me.

Leo was quiet the whole way home. He sat up front and turned the radio on, not even looking at me. He never stayed upset long, so I hoped he would snap out of it soon.

When I pulled into our garage, he jumped out first. "I'll get all the stuff, Mom. Why don't you go inside and relax?" he offered quickly.

"That's alright, Leo," I said, reaching for the backdoor handle.

Leo panicked, "Mom-"

Too late. I opened the door to find Ethan and Sophie hiding behind my seat. I was so focused on my sad little boy that I hadn't even noticed the two stowaways in the backseat as I left the park.

"Shh," Sophie whispered, holding a finger to her lips. "We're hiding."

Ethan looked nervous and guilty. "I'm sorry, Bella. I told her we were playing a game. Please don't be mad at Sophie. It's my fault."

"It was my idea," Leo confessed to save his friend. "But you didn't meet the sitter, Mom. We had to do something."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I had to call Edward and tell him I had his kids… again. "Go inside. I'll figure out what to do with you guys later."

Ethan and Leo ran straight in. I picked up Sophie and followed. "Those boys are in _so _much trouble," I told her.

She smiled in response. "Hi Bella."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Hi Sophie." I carried her inside and sat her down on the counter again before pulling out my phone. "I've got to call your daddy." I prayed for voicemail, but this time he _had _to pick up.

_"Edward Cullen."_

"Edward, hi. This is Bella Swan, from the hardware store," I said in case he didn't remember the name of the woman who had kidnapped his children.

_"Hello Bella. What can I do for you? Do you need help unloading everything?"_

He was so damn smug. "For your information, I unloaded it just fine," I replied, frowning as he chuckled. "Actually, I'm calling because Ethan and Sophie are at my house, and I thought you should know about it."

_"You kidnapped my children again?"_

"No!" I replied, offended. "Not purposefully anyway," I added. "Apparently the babysitter was scary, so they snuck into my truck. I didn't find them until I was already home. Leo and Ethan take full blame." I heard him sigh.

_"I'm sorry Bella. I'll come get them." _

"Don't worry about it. I just didn't want you calling the cops when the sitter freaks out. You really know how to pick 'em by the way." I had to get that jibe in there. "Ethan and Sophie are welcome to stay until you get off. I promise to have them in once piece by the time you get here."

_"Are you sure? I don't want to bother you."_

"Didn't stop you at the hardware store," I teasingly reminded him. "They'll be fine. I'm about to start dinner, so I need to get off here." I gave him my address and let him talk to Sophie before hanging up.

The boys came running in, both of them barefoot. "Mom, can we inflate the jumper?" Leo asked. "We'll take Sophie with us. Please?"

I gave it some thought. I could see the jumper through the kitchen window, so I would be able to keep an eye on them. The three little ones followed me outside where I turned on the blower. I turned to the boys, "You both better keep a close eye on Sophie. I don't think Edward would let you guys come back if I sent you home injured, so be very careful, okay?"

"We promise," said Ethan, holding his little sister's hand while she watched the bounce house inflate with wide eyes. Somehow I knew he would watch out for her. That didn't stop me from checking on them every few minutes.

I could hear their giggling from inside. Leo and Ethan were taking turns holding Sophie's hands as they jumped. I hoped Edward would let them come over without me having to kidnap them one day. Leo liked doing things with me, but he needed friends his own age to hang out with during the summer.

By the time dinner was ready, the kids were wiped out. They practically fell into their chairs at the table. I had to smile at them as I fixed their plates. I was impressed when they all ate everything I gave them even though I snuck some healthy stuff in there. I rewarded them with some peach cobbler and cool whip to make up for it.

That re-energized them. I made them wait a little while before letting them back in the jumper.

When I pulled up a chair to watch them, Sophie came over and climbed onto my lap. She must have been exhausted because she fell asleep not two minutes later. I absently ran my fingers through her soft curls while she slept. I was used to little boys, but having a girl around was nice too.

My phone vibrated on the table next to me. I was careful not to wake Sophie as I reached to get it . "Hello?"

_"Bella? It's Edward. I'm standing outside your house."_

"Oh, it should be unlocked. We're out back. Follow the noise." I hung up and put the phone back on the table. Sophie didn't budge.

A moment later I heard the back door open and shut. "For a criminal, you have a nice place," Edward teased.

"Ha, ha," I replied dryly. "I wouldn't be a criminal if you would pick sane people to baby-sit your kids. As it is, I am afraid that I will be rescuing them whenever I see fit from now own. So, if they go missing, call me before you freak out."

"I see you've managed to tire out the little one," Edward smiled, looking at Sophie.

"Oh no," I disagreed. "I drugged her. I can only handle two at a time." I couldn't have him thinking I was a softy.

He laughed and pulled up a chair. "Thank you for doing this, Bella," he said sincerely. "Ethan is very picky about who he lets watch them. I don't know what I'm going to do with that boy."

The boys got out of the jumper and came running over. Ethan stopped when he saw Edward. "Hi Dad." I knew that look. Leo used it all the time when he knew he was in trouble.

"It's my fault, Mister Edward," Leo said quickly. "I talked him into it. We had to save Sophie from the sitter."

"Well thank you both for saving Sophie, but from now on, if Bella says no, that means no. You are not to sneak into her truck without her permission. Do you understand?" he asked sternly. I was relieved he wasn't being too hard on them, but I was going to make sure my son did not make a habit of sneaking random kids into our house.

"Yes sir," said Ethan as Leo nodded.

"Good," he replied, standing up. "Now, I need to get your sister to bed." He carefully took Sophie from me. She didn't even stir. The poor girl was out cold.

Ethan walked over to me. "Thanks for letting us stay, Bella."

"You're welcome kid." I bent down and kissed his cheek like I would Leo's. He blinked up at me before smiling.

Leo and I walked them out to their car. Edward strapped Sophie in her booster seat as Ethan crawled in next to her.

"You do realize that a cop lives next door to you, so you should probably keep the crimes to a minimum."

I sighed, "Edward?"

"Yes Bella?" he smiled.

"Shut up," I replied.

He laughed again. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around. Goodnight you two." He gave Leo a 'five' and got in his car. I was still frowning at him, so he winked at me before driving away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Edward**

It was my day off. I had planned on spending it with my children, but due to recent events, I would be interviewing nannies all day. I didn't really understand the problem. My kids were relatively well-behaved. Sophie was a little shy around strangers, but she was usually a sweetheart. Ethan was a little more difficult. He was very protective of me and Sophie, so he wasn't crazy about anyone else being a part of our family. The only nannies he approved of were the ones old enough to be his grandmother.

I decided that they could both help me pick their next nanny. Maybe that way Ethan wouldn't be so quick to run her off. Leaving them with a girlfriend was no longer an option. I couldn't believe I was so blind about Casey. I should have trusted Alice when she said she was a bitch, but I had chalked it up to pregnancy hormones.

I was standing in the kitchen washing our dishes from lunch when my phone rang. I smirked when I checked the caller ID. Bella. This should be interesting.

"Hello?" I answered smoothly.

"_Edward?"_

It wasn't Bella. "Leo? What's wrong?" He sounded scared.

"_We were building the tree house. She told me not to play with the nail gun, but I didn't listen. It looked so cool. I didn't mean to shoot her. Mom's not so good with blood. She passed out. I don't know what to do! I put the nail gun down, but I-" _

"Calm down buddy. I'm on my way." The poor kid. I was a little worried myself to be honest. The crazy woman was kind of growing on me. "Ethan! Sophie! Put your shoes on. We've got to go!"

Hearing the urgency in my voice, they came running. "What's going on, Dad?" Ethan asked.

"Bella had a little accident, so we're going to help her." I grabbed my keys. "Let's go."

Ethan strapped Sophie in as we drove out of the garage. "Dad, is Bella gonna be okay?"

"I'm sure she will be." Thanks to my years on construction sites, my own dad taught me how to take care of these kinds of injuries. He claimed with Emmett on the crew, we all needed to be prepared for anything.

When I pulled up at Bella's, Leo ran out to the car to meet me. He had tears in his eyes. "She hasn't woke up. I'm scared. I didn't mean to hurt her."

I got the first aid kit out of the trunk before kneeling down in front of him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to take care of her. I promise she'll be fine." He nodded, but he was still worried. "Could you do me a favor and take Ethan and Sophie up to your room? Sophie doesn't like blood either."

"O-okay," he nodded. He smiled sadly at my kids and motioned for them to follow him. I heard Ethan telling him it would be okay, that I would fix everything.

I found Bella lying on the kitchen floor. Luckily she had been wearing a white hard hat, so she couldn't have been hurt too badly when she fell. I winced when I saw the blood on her thigh. I knew that had hurt; she had already pulled the nail out. At least they hadn't been using the big nails. I quickly grabbed a cool rag and began to wipe her face and neck. I needed to get her awake, and then I would fix her wound.

After a couple of moments, her eyes fluttered open. They were a striking shade of brown. "Good morning sunshine," I smiled.

"Ugh," she groaned when she realized it was me. "Shoot me now."

"Someone's already done that, I'm afraid," I replied, keeping the situation light. "Now you stay put while I clean this leg up. Can't have you fainting on us again." I took some wipes out of the kit.

She hissed when I touched the wound. "Not that I'm ungrateful," she started, clinching her fists, "But what the hell are you doing here?"

I chuckled and began rubbing in some ointment. She had nice legs. "Leo called. He's upstairs with Ethan and Sophie. I figured since you like to rescue my children so much, that I could return the favor." I realized I had been rubbing longer than necessary, so I quickly busied my hands with getting the bandages instead. "So you don't like blood eh?"

For a moment she glared at me. I really couldn't help but find her hostility amusing. "The smell of it makes me dizzy obviously."

"You can't smell blood," I argued, bandaging her leg.

"Don't tell me what I can and can't smell," she snapped back.

"I'll tell you what _I _smell," I closed the first aid kit and looked down at her. "Bullshit." She scowled and started to sit up, but I stopped her. "Easy there." I wrapped my arm around her and helped her to her feet. "Why don't you sit down for a bit?" She started to argue, but I wouldn't hear of it. "You either walk to the couch or I'll have to carry you."

"You wouldn't," she replied, sounding unsure.

"Try me," I said with a small smirk. I really wouldn't mind carrying her. With her short denim shorts and white tank top, I wouldn't mind carrying her up to her room.

Bella brought me out of my thoughts by hitting me in the chest with her hardhat and heading for the living room. I was left with the hat in my hands. I smiled and went after her. "You know, you're a little hostile."

"Sorry," she shrugged. "I do have a soft side. I simply don't use it very much."

Leo came into the room nervously. "Mom?"

Soft side or not, I could see how much she loved her son just by the way she looked at him. She was trying to keep a stern face, but failing miserably. "You are in so much trouble mister. I told you to put that gun down. Now I get to kiss you in public without argument for a month."

He ran over and threw his arms around her neck. "I'm sorry Mommy."

"Baby, it was an accident," Bella replied, hugging him tightly. "And it's not your fault I'm such a wimp when it comes to blood." She met my eyes over his shoulder and smiled, "But did you have to call Edward? I'm never going to hear the end of this." I laughed; she was right about that. She made Leo look at her. "You're feeling too guilty. I can see now I'm going to have to distract you. Wanna go to the movies?"

"Can Ethan come? And Sophie and Edward?" he asked hopefully.

Bella looked at me for the answer. "Sure," I smiled. "But I get to buy the tickets."

"Fine," she conceded. "I get to buy the snacks." Damn. Forgot about those. She smiled and stood up. "I'm going to change clothes first." She started to hobble down the hall.

"There's really nothing wrong with what you're wearing now!" I called after her, causing her to flip me off.

Leo gasped and looked up at me. "She should owe me a dollar for that."

I nodded. I knew exactly what that particular gesture meant, and I would be willing to take her up on it. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Let's go tell Ethan and Sophie where we're going."

"Okay!" he grinned. "Follow me. They're in my room." He kept looking over his shoulder as we walked to make sure I was still there. "Here it is," he pushed open the door and motioned for me to go inside.

I smiled at what I found. My sweet little Sophie was standing on a bed in the shape of a pirate ship. She was wearing an eye patch and holding a plastic sword. Ethan was standing above me in the crow's nest that was built in the corner. He had a bandanna over his hair and was looking at me through a scope. "Ahoy matie!" he shouted.

"What are you two doing?" I asked.

"I turned them into pirates," said Leo. He rushed over to his bed, "Show him what we taught you, Sophie."

She held out her sword. "Arrrrr."

I quickly picked her up and swung her around. "What did you let these boys do to you princess?" I asked, kissing her cheek.

"Daddy, I'm a pirate not a princess," she giggled. I rubbed my nose against hers.

"But that's a great idea Edward," said Leo, scrunching his face in thought. "I wonder if Mom would get us some armor. We could be knights. We would need a dragon too."

"My Uncle Emmett could be the dragon! He's really big," said Ethan.

Someone cleared their throat causing us all to turn to the door. Bella was standing there in with an amused look on her face. "Alright you scalawags, let's get moving."

Ethan climbed down the ladder quickly and ran over to her. "I'm glad you're okay Bella."

She smiled, "Thanks kid. Did your dad tell you that we're all going to the movies?" His eyes brightened and he shook his head. She looked at me, sighing. "What have you been doing up here Cullen?"

"I got sidetracked," I replied, defending myself. "Our boys turned my little girl into a pirate."

Sophie came to my defense. "Yo ho ho!"

"She'll be fine," said Bella. "I grew up with mostly guys and look how good I turned out." I started to say something, but she wouldn't have it. "Come on kids before Edward's mouth gets him in trouble."

My treacherous son reached up to hold her hand as they walked out of the room. Leo looked at me sympathetically, "My mouth gets me in trouble all the time too."

"That's okay Leo. I think it's a man thing," I assured him. "You ready to go?"

"Yes sir," he grinned and ran out of the room. I smiled and followed him with Sophie.

I convinced Bella to let me drive since I had a booster seat for Sophie. Being the gentleman that I am, I opened her door for her, but she didn't get in. "Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked.

Both boys were in the car. I was still holding Sophie. I had my wallet and my keys. Finally I gave up and shook my head. "Not that I know of." Bella reached over to Sophie and removed the eye patch that I hadn't noticed she was still wearing. Then she smiled and got in the car. I let out a breath and shut the door. "You're killing me Sophie."

"Sorry Daddy," she smiled. I strapped her in her booster seat before getting in on the driver's side. I looked at Bella, "Not. A word."

"Arrrrr," she replied.

I pouted and started the car. "You should really be nicer to me, kidnapper. You never know when you're going to need my help again."

That got her going. "For your information Mr. Cullen, I did not need your help today. I would have woken up eventually, and it was just a small nail. I was very clumsy back in the day; I've dealt with much worse than this little flesh wound."

"Well Miss Swan," I paused. "Is it Miss or Mrs.?"

"Mrs.," she snorted. "I keep my husband chained in the basement."

I smiled at her sarcasm. I guess it was a stupid question, but we hadn't really talked about it before. I just assumed she wasn't married. "Well Ms. Swan, if I hadn't been there to clean up the blood, who's to say you wouldn't have passed out again?"

"I-" She let out a frustrated noise that sounded very much like a growl. "Fine. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be nicer to you. You seem like the kind of guy who has one too many people kissing his ass already."

"Ooh," Leo said from the backseat. Bella huffed and gave all three of the kids a dollar. "I like it when your dad comes around," he whispered loudly to Ethan. "He makes me more money."

I laughed loudly at this, and Bella was fighting a smile. The rest of the drive to the theater was relatively peaceful. The kids were chattering quietly behind us and Bella was humming along with the radio.

"What do you guys want to see?" I asked when we got there.

"Can we watch Monsters vs. Aliens?" Ethan asked on behalf of himself and Leo.

"If it's alright with the ladies," I answered. They both turned to Bella and Sophie.

Bella looked around at the crowd of people going in and out of the theater. "It's fine with me on one condition," she said. "I'm cashing in on one of my kisses." Leo scrunched his face up as she planted a loud kiss on his cheek. When Ethan snickered, she turned on him, "I think you need one too." And she got him next. He didn't seem to mind as much.

Sophie looked offended. "What about me?"

"Oh, I am so sorry," Bella laughed and picked her up, kissing her on the cheek. "Is that better Miss Sophie?"

"It's your turn," she replied, surprising Bella with a kiss.

She smiled softly before looking at Ethan and Leo. "You boys should pay attention. You could learn something from this one."

As earlier arranged, I paid for everyone's tickets while Bella took the kids over to the snack counter. I'm fairly certain she forced them to get more than they wanted so she could spend more than I did. I knew there was no way Sophie would be able to eat that many nachos.

We got the boys and Sophie all situated. Bella was about to sit down beside Leo, but I stopped her. "What are you doing?"

"You're right," she replied. "Sitting down is so overrated."

I took her wrist and led her to the row behind the kids. "We have to sit back here, so we can do our parental duty and throw popcorn at them if they get too loud."

"And we can't do that sitting beside them?" she replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Not as effectively," I informed her. I smirked triumphantly when she rolled her eyes and sat down. "I knew you'd see it my way."

Sophie turned around, "Bella? I'm full." Her little mouth was covered with cheese.

Bella took the nachos and handed them to me before taking a napkin and wiping Sophie's face. I could have done it since she was my daughter, but I liked seeing Bella do it more. She handed Sophie a plastic cup of gummy bears before sitting back down. "I'll take those." She stole the nachos right out of my hands.

"You can't possible eat all of those." There was no way. She was too little.

"Watch me," she replied, shoving a chip in her mouth. I don't know how she did that without getting cheese on her.

The movie started, and aside from her elbowing me a few times for stealing her nachos, Bella and I got along great. Ethan did throw popcorn at us once. Apparently we were disturbing him. He's too much like me for his own good. He and Leo rambled on and on about the movie once we got in the car. Sophie's mouth was still busy with gummy bears.

"Um, Cullen, this isn't the way to my house," Bella said as she looked out the window.

"I know," I replied calmly. "Since you managed to outdo me and buy all those snacks, I think it is only fair that I take you to dinner."

"You're not buying us dinner," she replied.

"Who said anything about buying dinner? The family always gets together once a week. I've already called Mom and told her to expect two more." I waited for the explosion.

She didn't disappoint. "You _what_? No, Edward Cullen, you take me home right now."

"Sorry. Mom's already made the arrangements. You wouldn't want to disappoint her by not showing up, would you?" I was loving this.

Bella groaned and slumped down in her seat. "You said it was a family thing. Leo and I aren't family."

I disagreed. "You're the woman who kidnaps my children. Of course you're family, and Sophie and Ethan have already claimed Leo as their new brother. I'm afraid you are out of excuses Bella. We'll be at Jasper's tonight though so Alice can be there. You remember Jasper, don't you?" She growled again. I was really starting to like that sound.

When I pulled into Jasper's driveway, I hopped out and jogged around to open Bella's door. She didn't budge. "Come on," I pleaded. "I swear you're going to love them. If you want, I'll even hold your hand."

"What good would that do?" she smirked, getting out of the car.

"Are you kids coming in or what?" my idiot brother shouted from the door.

"Uncle Emmett!" Ethan ran right into his arms.

I picked up Sophie and motioned for Bella and Leo to follow me. "Emmett, allow me to properly introduce you to Bella and Leonardo Swan."

"Dude, like the ninja turtle?" he grinned. When Leo nodded, he gave him a five, "Awesome." Then he focused on Bella, "Listen Bella, my wife and I could use a little time to ourselves, do you think you could kidnap my son for a night?"

Bella looked at me. "I thought you said he was charming."

Emmett laughed, "You'll learn to love me." He grabbed Ethan under one arm and Leo under another. "Come on boys. I want to beat you at some video games."

"He just took my kid," said Bella.

"Here," I passed her Sophie, "have one of mine." When she smiled, I put my hand on her lower back to guide her inside.

"There you are!" Esme came right over. "You must be Bella. Please call me Esme. I just met Leo, and I already love him." She kissed both her and Sophie. "I have to get back in the kitchen. Make yourself at home." I cleared my throat before she could get away. "Oh! Edward dear," she kissed my cheek and continued on her way.

"I'm clearly the favorite," I said when I caught Bella looking at me.

Jasper chose that moment to come over, "Now we both know that isn't true. Hello again Bella. How's the treehouse coming?"

I chuckled, and she of course glared at me. "Leo and I started to work on it today, but we had a few distractions."

"Yes a nail to the thigh is quite the distraction," he replied calmly.

"It is," she replied sweetly. "And if you bring it up again, I'd be more than happy to show you and your bigmouth brother exactly how distracting it can be." She took Sophie and went further inside.

"She threatened to shoot me in my own home," Jasper chuckled, but then his face turned serious. "You don't think she really would, do you?"

It was my turn to chuckle. I gave him a pat on the back without answering before heading in to join the others. Emmett and the boys were having fun with a little Mario Kart Wii. He kept trying to cover Leo's eyes to keep him from winning. Leo found it hilarious. Carlisle was sitting with Nate and Sophie in his lap playing the role of the proud grandfather perfectly. The women were suspiciously missing.

"Dad? Where's Bella?" I knew it was silly to be worried, but the women in this family were crazy.

"Rose took her to meet Alice," he answered distractedly not even looking up from the little ones. "She said they had some things to discuss."

Jasper was one step ahead of me as we practically sprinted down the hall to the master bedroom. We threw open the door and were greeted by their laughter. "Neither of them could sit down for a week," Rose was saying. I cleared my throat, but when they saw us standing there, they only laughed harder.

"Edward," Alice smiled prettily. She was confined to her bed yet still insisted on dressing fashionably. "We were just telling Bella here a few stories about your own construction injuries. It seemed only fair."

"Damn," Jasper whispered. Then he put on his most charming smile. "Ali baby, why don't you let me help you down to the dining room?" He somehow lifted her with ease and hurried out of the room.

I offered my arms to the other two. "Ladies?"

"So you've taken a nail to the ass," said Bella as we walked towards the dining room.

There was no way I was letting her turn this around on me. "Yep. I've got the scar to prove it. Would you like to see?"

"Usually I know a guy for at least a week before he drops his pants," she replied.

"That's how the Cullen men are," Rosalie chimed in. "Emmett dropped his on the first night, and according to Alice, Jasper dropped his within the first hour. You'll have to ask Esme about Carlisle. She likes to tell that story herself."

"Thank you, Rosalie," I said tightly. I chanced a glance at Bella to see her biting her bottom lip in attempt to keep from giggling. "We're really not the man whores she's making us out to be." That did it. The laughter came freely after that.

Dinner was an interesting affair. Thanks to my nosy family I learned more about Bella and Leo. I found it particularly amusing that her father was a chief of police considering I only met her after she kidnapped my children. They shied away from questions that were too personal, so I didn't know where Leo's father was, but I was sure she would tell me eventually. She also politely refused to tell us what she did for a living. Emmett's mind went straight to the gutter earning him a smack from Rosalie. He was disappointed when she assured him it was nothing illegal.

By the end of the night, Emmett had convinced Bella to bring Leo to peewee football tryouts, and Mom was inviting her to spa days with the women once Alice had the baby.

The kids were sleeping in the backseat as I drove to Bella's house. "Do you need help getting him inside?" I asked when we pulled in her driveway.

"No," she smiled. "I'm a pro at this." She hoisted Leo out of the car. "I like doing it while I still can. They grow up too fast." I knew exactly what she meant.

I at least opened the front door for her, seeing as how her arms were so full. "Have a good night, Bella."

She nodded, "You too, Edward."

After closing her door, I jogged back to the car. It had been an interesting day. I didn't know exactly what I was hoping for, but I was happy with how things were going. Nothing could bring me down.

"Dad?" Ethan asked groggily. "Who's gonna be our nanny?"

Shit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Bella**

"Run faster!" Leo shouted.

I love that kid, but I was ready to kill him. Thanks to him, I was out of bed before noon for a morning jog around the block of all things. Jacob Black was running beside me with a rope tied around his waist. Holding on to the other end of this rope was my son in his roller blades.

"Come on Bells," said Jake, sensing the impending murder of my child. "Think of this as practice in case you ever need to run from the cops."

Could no one let that go? "I hate all of you people."

He laughed, "Now I know that's not true. I've already heard all about you and a certain Cullen." I tripped. "Whoa." He caught my arm and kept on running. "Falling for him already, are you?"

No he didn't. "I'm not falling for Edward Cullen. It just so happens that I enjoy being mean to him, and he takes it well."

"Keep telling yourself that sweetheart." I wanted to knock him into the street, but he's a pretty big guy. I'd probably end up hurting myself instead.

"Faster!" Leo shouted again. Jacob didn't seem to mind, but I was about to kill over. Nevertheless, I found myself running faster beside him. The things you do for your children.

By the time we made it back to our houses, I was ready to collapse. I bent over and put my hands on my knees. I was panting and about to fall over when I heard a familiar voice. "Bella!" I looked up to see Ethan running towards me.

"Hey kid. What are you doing here?" I asked once I caught my breath.

He wrinkled his nose. "Me and Sophie are at Tanya's house. She's our babysitter today."

Oh, hell no.

"Hey Ethan!" Leo skated over to us. "You should come to my house. Mom bought me a new helmet, so I'm going to practice running into things with it to make sure it works."

I should have put a stop to his plans then and there, but I was too distracted. What the hell was Edward thinking leaving his kids with that woman? I warned him that I would kidnap them again if I necessary. Well… right now it seemed necessary. "Jacob, will you stay here with Leo for a minute? I'll be right back."

Jake finished gulping down a bottle of water. "Sure." He tugged the rope, pulling my laughing kid back to him.

"Come on Ethan." I took his hand and headed over to Tanya's. When we got there, Tanya was trying to paint Sophie's little fingernails, but the she wasn't cooperating.

"Honey, you have to hold still," said Tanya patiently.

"I can't," Sophie replied, bouncing a little. I knocked on the door frame to get their attention. "Bella!" Sophie ran over and wrapped her arms around my legs, so I smiled and rubbed her back.

Tanya let out a short breath and stood up. "Good morning Bella. What brings you over?"

"I was out running with Leo and Jake when we saw Ethan. The boys were hoping to play together and they didn't want to leave Sophie out, so I've come to ask you if they can come over and play." I was getting them out of here no matter what she said, but I was trying the polite route first.

"I'm afraid not," said Tanya. "Sophie and I are having so much fun already. Why don't you send Leo over here? I can watch all three of them." She smiled at me. Damn.

"It would really be easier for them to come over, so Leo wouldn't have to bring all his toys. And it'll give you time to enjoy some of your other hobbies. I hear the Newtons have a pool boy coming by today." I smiled back. I could so play this game.

"Sweeties, why do you go get a cookie from the kitchen?" I knew what she was doing. She was sending the kids out of earshot. When they were out of sight, she turned back to me. "See here's the thing. I've been after Edward Cullen since before his divorce. I'm not going to pass up the chance to impress him by getting in good with his children. I'm sure you understand," she winked.

Ugh. "Oh definitely," I replied in my best gossipy tone. "Well let me talk to Leo. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to come over. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course not," she gushed. "The more the merrier." I'm sure.

I jogged back across the street where both Leo and Jake were lying in the grass. "We've got a problem. If we're going to free those kids from Tanya's clutches, I'm going to need both your help." That had their attention. "Leo, I need you to go inside and get your walkie-talkies."

"Yes ma'am," he ran inside. He was always up for any type of mission.

"I need a nice young man to distract Tanya. Any suggestions?" I asked Jake, hoping he wouldn't volunteer. I would seriously lose all respect for my him.

"There's a couple of rookies at the station. They've been over to watch a few games and caught a glimpse of her. I'm sure one of them would be more than willing to help," he replied. When I nodded, he ran inside to get his cell phone just as Leo was coming back out.

"What's the plan Mom?" he asked in a low whisper. It was his sneaky voice.

I took one of the walkie-talkies and turned it on. "Put yours on channel three and keep the volume down when Tanya's around. Don't let her know you have it with you." He nodded seriously. "We're sending in one of Tanya's friends to distract her. When they go upstairs to talk, I want you to contact me."

"Kyle's on his way," said Jacob grinning widely as he came back out. "He's _very _happy to help." Sometimes I guess it was a good thing that men were such pigs.

"Alright, you ready Leo?" I would have to get him a treat for this even though he didn't seem to mind.

He nodded. "I'm going in," he whispered conspiringly. He looked both ways before racing across the street and into the house.

Jacob chuckled. "I'm so glad you guys moved into this neighborhood. I've got to go get ready for work. If Tanya calls the police, I'll take care of it."

"Thanks Jake," I smiled. Befriending a cop was coming in handy. My Dad would be proud.

I went inside to quickly get cleaned up. Then I sat near the window, holding the walkie-talkie and waiting for Kyle to show up. It didn't take long. Kyle jogged up the steps and knocked confidently on the front door. When Tanya opened it, I could see the delighted surprise on her face. I don't know what he was saying to her, but soon she was pulling him inside. With kids in the house! I may have set it up, but I was still appalled.

"_Mamma Bear this is Goldilocks. The fox is with the hound. I repeat. The fox is with the hound. Over." _

My kid was nuts. "Goldilocks?"

"_We let Sophie choose the names. Over." _That made sense, I guess. I might as well play along.

"Copy that Goldilocks. What's your location? Over." This was when I realized that Leo and I watch too many movies.

"_We're locked in a room watching cartoons. Over." _How dare she?

"Which floor? Over." I wasn't looking forward to scaling any buildings, but if it had to be done, it had to be done.

"_First floor. I got the window open, but the drop's too high for Sophie. Over." _I was already on my way out of the house.

"Mamma Bear is on the move. Over and out." I felt like I needed the Mission Impossible theme song as I snuck over to Tanya's house. I tried not to look too suspicious, but I'm sure I was failing miserably. I smiled when I saw three heads sticking through the open window.

Ethan spoke first. "I thought you were really gonna leave us."

"Wouldn't dream of it," I assured him. "You guys ready to escape?"

Leo and Ethan helped Sophie up high enough that I could get a good hold on her. She giggled when I got her out. "This is fun," she whispered.

Before I could stop them, the boys jumped, rolling on the ground when they landed. They got up with grins on their faces. I shook my head. "Don't hurt yourselves. It'll make me look bad." Then I closed the window back and smiled, "Let's get out of here."

The four of us wasted no time crossing the street and getting in the house. I wondered how long it would take Tanya to figure how out the children disappeared. I warned the kids to hide if the doorbell rang in case she made a surprise visit, but I knew Kyle would keep her busy for quite a while.

After I kicked my shoes off, I turned to find the three munchkins watching me. "Can I help you?"

"We thought you'd like to play with us," said Ethan, flashing me a smile that would make his father proud.

"I'm not running into walls wearing a helmet, if that's what you mean," I replied. "But I do think it's about time you saw our basement."

"Basement," Sophie repeated, looking confused. "What's in there?"

Leo bounced excitedly. "Come on. I'll show you. Take your shoes off." They both did as he said before following him to the basement door. I turned on the light for them and Leo ran right in.

"Whoa!" said Ethan.

"Jump in!" Leo shouted.

I smiled at the looks on Ethan and Sophie's faces. They hadn't been expecting a giant ball pit to be in the basement. Ethan looked up at me, "Is it safe to do a belly flop?" I didn't know to be honest.

"Hold on a second and I'll check," I replied. "Look out Leo!" I closed my eyes and fell into the ball pit. The kids were giggling loudly as I tried to stand back up. It was tricky. "Cover your face with your hands, and you should be fine," I told him.

"Okay!" He did as I suggested and fell right in. He and Leo started wrestling and laughing with each other while Sophie still stood on the steps.

"What are you doing up there little Miss Sophie?" I asked.

"Bella, I'll sink," she told me cutely.

I smiled and shook my head. "We like you Sophie. We won't let you sink."

"You wanna climb on my back?" Leo offered. She nodded, so he went over and helped her on.

"Well I guess that means I'll have to get on Ethan's back." I playfully tackled him. Before I knew it though, all three of them were on top of me. Cheaters.

We played in the pit for at least an hour before I got out to make them lunch. Sophie had hitched a ride on my back and was now sitting on the counter, swinging her little legs. "Bella, can I cook?"

I was almost done fixing their Sloppy Joes, but she sounded so sweet that it was impossible to say no. "I was thinking about baking some cupcakes later. Would you help me then?" She smiled and nodded. I picked her up and took her over to the table. "Boys! Lunch is ready!" I shouted. Who needs an intercom?

Playing so much apparently boosted their appetites because they dove right in. I wasn't sure where they were fitting it all. Once they were good and stuffed, they sat down to watch a movie while I cleaned the dishes and got everything ready to make the cupcakes later.

"Bella?" Ethan called quietly, coming in the kitchen. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I sat down at the table and motioned for him to join me.

He walked over nervously, looking at his feet instead of at me. "Um… football tryouts are tomorrow. During the season, a lot moms paint signs and stuff for their kids to cheer them on during the games. I was wondering if maybe…" he trailed off with a frustrated sigh.

"Ethan, if you want me to get out there and be one of those crazy parents that scream and yell for you and Leo," I paused and made him look up at me, "then you're going to have to let me kiss you on the cheek after every game no matter how many of the guys are watching."

"Deal," he smiled and held out his hand for me to shake. I yanked the little guy into a hug. "Thank you Bella," he said softly, hugging me back. Leo and Sophie came in after that, and I put all three of them to work.

Cooking with children was even messier than letting them decorate their own ice cream. It may not have been so bad if they hadn't been using the different color frostings as war paint. I managed to stay clean so far. Being the tallest had its advantages.

When the doorbell rang suddenly, they all went quiet. I loved these kids. I winked at them before going to answer the door, expecting to find one pissed off neighborhood floozy.

"Good afternoon Bella," a velvety voice greeted me instead.

Oh this was too good. "Hi Edward," I said with a slightly confused tone. "What are you doing here?"

He quirked an eyebrow. "I'm picking up the kids?" It sounded more like a question.

"Edward, you let Tanya watch them today. Remember?" I asked, sounding concerned. My acting skills had improved with age.

His eyes widened in disbelief. "You left my kids with Tanya?" he half shouted.

"No! You left your kids with Tanya. What the hell were you thinking?" I shouted back.

"I was thinking you would kidnap them like you always do!" he admitted.

"You idiot! Why didn't you just ask me to keep them?" Acting was no longer required. Seriously. His plan was stupid.

"I wanted it to be your idea. I didn't want you to get annoyed with me showing up so much," Edward replied, stressfully running his fingers through his hair. I secretively crooked my finger behind the door, motioning for Sophie to come over. "I've got to go get them out of there. I hope they aren't traumatized."

Sophie stepped into view. "Hi Daddy."

"Hi Sophie," he replied. Then it clicked, "_Sophie_!" He looked so relieved and then playfully glared at me. "Oh I'm going to get you for that one Swan." He picked his daughter up and squeezed her to him.

I stepped aside to let him in. "On the contrary, you owe me for that one Cullen. I had to do a lot of scheming to free your children. It involved walkie-talkies, unusual code names, and a lovely young man named Kyle."

He stepped towards me. "How can I make it up to you Bella?"

"Um..." That kind of caught me off guard. Alright Mr. Smooth Talker, "You can call Tanya and tell her you're on your way to pick up the kids." That wasn't what he was expecting, but he set Sophie down and did it anyway. I smiled and headed for the window.

"What are we doing?" he asked, coming up behind me.

"Just watch," I replied. The words had barely left my mouth when Kyle came running out, his shirt unbuttoned and his shoes in his hand. He jumped in his car and sped out of the driveway. Two minutes later, Tanya was rushing across the street to my house. The doorbell rang. "Come with me."

Tanya's angry expression quickly faded when she saw Edward standing next to me. "Bella! Edward! I was just… um…"

"Tanya! I was just explaining to Edward how I volunteered to keep the children, so you could spend time with your guest. That Kyle sure was a looker," I winked. I could be on Desperate Housewives with stunts like this.

"Yes Tanya, why didn't you tell me you were busy? I would have never asked you to keep my children had I known your boyfriend was coming over. I'll just leave them with Bella from now on." His arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer. I hadn't planned that part, but I kept my fake smile in place.

"Oh," she replied, not knowing what else to say. "Okay, I guess I'll…"

"Okay bye honey." I smiled and closed the door. I turned to Edward, "You ever leave your kids with her again, and I'll kidnap _them _and let Tanya kidnap _you_."

He cringed. "Sorry Bella. I guess I didn't really think it through."

"No shit," I replied. "If I was tired of you, I would have told you. Your kids are welcome here anytime."

"You're not tired of me huh?" he said with a cocky grin.

"Your kids," I clarified. "I'm not tired of your kids. You're part of the package that I tolerate for Ethan and Sophie's sake." I headed for the kitchen.

Edward strolled up beside me and draped his arm around my shoulders. "What are you talking about Swan? You know we're practically best friends."

"You are _not _my best friend," I argued.

"Oh really," he replied smugly. "Then who is?"

I thought about it for a second. "Felix. He's been my best friend since high school." Ha.

"And where is this Felix now?" Crap.

"He's still in Washington." I think. I hadn't really spoken to him in a while. Okay so maybe we weren't _best_ friends. "Fine. Jacob is my best friend then."

"Nope, sorry," said Edward, shaking his head. "Jacob is your good friend. I'm still your best friend. How could you think otherwise? You've been hanging out with me everyday."

I finally shrugged his arm off my shoulders. "I'm going to help the kids. Why don't you go… play in the street or something?" His laughter followed me into the kitchen.

The boys greeted Edward and handed him a cupcake, but Ethan wouldn't let him eat it because it would spoil his dinner. I'm guessing Ethan had heard that same speech from Edward a few times judging by the victorious look in his eyes.

"I'm ordering Chinese," said Edward, pulling out his phone. "What does everybody want?"

"Edward honey, let me explain to you how this babysitter thing works. I keep your kids all day while you're at work. When you get off, you come and pick them up. And then you leave." I thought this was common knowledge.

I caught him whispering in Sophie's ear. She looked up at me. "You want us to leave?" she asked, poking out her bottom lip.

"Oh that is low Cullen," I said to him as I picked up Sophie. He smiled; the smug bastard. "I don't want you to leave Sophie." It was my turn to smile. "But I don't think your dad should stay unless you guys help him with his war paint. He might feel left out."

As Edward tried to fight off the little warriors, I ordered Chinese.

After eating, the kids ended up in the jumper again, so Edward and I sat outside, finishing our dinner and keeping an eye on the little crazies. "So," Edward started, "Since we're best friends…"

I rolled my eyes. "What?"

"You should tell me a secret," he smiled. Damn, he looked good when he did that. "How about what you do for a living?"

"Not happening," I answered easily. There were some things people, especially Edward Cullen, did not need to know.

"Come on," he pleaded. He looked at me with those gorgeous green eyes and took my hand in his. "I would really like to know Bella."

"I'm a bounty hunter," I blurted out.

His eyes widened, "Really?"

I yanked my hand free. "No, so stop trying to dazzle me. I'm not telling."

"You've got to tell me something," said Edward. "Tell me… about Leo's father."

"Don't you think that my secrets are secrets for a reason?" I asked.

"Your story can't be any worse than mine," he replied. I looked at him disbelievingly, so he continued. "I was a junior in college when I drunkenly got my ex-wife pregnant. I tried to do the right thing by marrying her. She left us after having Sophie. She said this wasn't what she wanted; her dreams didn't involve settling down with a family while she was so young."

Mine originally didn't either, but I wouldn't have given up Leo for the world. I couldn't see how anyone would leave Ethan or Sophie or even Edward for that matter. He was looking at me expectantly. I sighed. My story wasn't any better. "I don't even know who Leo's father is." I hated telling people that. They always judged me for it. I don't think he even believed me to start with, but when I didn't smile or anything, he realized I wasn't kidding, and I could tell he had questions. "That's all you're getting right now."

"Fine," he stood up. "You leave me no choice."

"What are you-" I found myself thrown over his shoulder. "Cullen! Put me down." He did. He tossed me into the jumper.

"Dog pile!" Ethan shouted before diving on top of me. I managed to roll him over and started tickling him, but Edward came to his rescue, by doing the same thing to me.

Leo jumped on his back, "I got him Momma!"

"I don't think so," Edward laughed, doing the same thing to Leo that I did to Ethan. Well I couldn't leave my kid hanging, so I dove into Edward. It was a never ending cycle of the Cullens vs. the Swans until the kids turned on both of us. Luckily for me, the boys double-teamed Edward, so I ended up facing down Sophie.

"You wanna sneak inside and eat a cupcake?" I asked. She smiled and nodded. We made our escape while the boys were distracted.

"Traitor!" Edward shouted as I walked hand in hand with his daughter towards the house.

I smiled and went inside. That's what he got for messing with me.

* * *

**AN: I wasn't planning on ending the chapter here, but my Mom decided to make a surprise visit. Apparently my flowerbeds are a disgrace. Personally, I thought the weeds showed character.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Edward**

Pee wee football tryouts were always a big event in my life. Emmett, Jasper, and I all played when we were kids, and now we used Cullen Construction to sponsor a team. Emmett was the head coach, but he always managed to rope Jasper and I into helping out one way or another. Alice and Rosalie always designed the uniforms while Carlisle and Esme provided snacks for games and practices. As soon as Ethan was big enough, he joined the league and became as big a fanatic as any of us. I didn't think it could get any better.

I was wrong.

I watched as Bella walked over to Emmett with Sophie riding on her back. "Excuse me big guy."

He turned around with his favorite cheesy grin, "Yes Ms. Swan?"

"I'm new to this whole Sports Mom thing, but that kid rammed into my son. Now since his lovely mother cheered like a banshee, is it alright if I tackle her to keep things even?" she asked casually.

"Hell yeah," he replied.

Bella nodded. "Hold your niece for a second."

Uh oh. I ran towards them to stop her, but Emmett grabbed my shoulder. "Dude! She's gonna tackle Jane the Pain! If you make a move to stop it, I'll kick your ass." It wasn't that I didn't think she could handle herself; I just had this irrational need to protect her.

"You said a bad word," said Sophie.

"You owe her a dollar," I told Emmett. He looked at me like I was on crack. "Blame Swan. She gives them a dollar every time she lets one slip. Now they expect it from everybody," I shrugged.

"Well hell Sophie, here's a twenty for the day," he replied, pulling the bill out of his pocket.

She kissed his cheek. "Thank you Uncle Em."

We both watched as Bella walked casually across the field. Jane was standing on the sidelines cheering every time that devil of a child of hers rammed into one of the smaller boys. She was even malicious enough to laugh if one of the poor kids cried. I felt myself grinning with anticipation. Suddenly Bella sprinted towards her, slamming into the woman with such a force they both hit the ground. Only Bella got up. "Cheer about that, bitch."

I'm sure she would have gotten more cheers if everyone hadn't been in shock. Well everyone except for Emmett. "Yeah! That's what I'm talking about, baby!" A few of the others chimed in then, including me. When Bella realized everyone was staring at her, a beautiful blush spread across her cheeks and she slipped away from the crowd.

I found her leaning against her truck in the parking lot, covering her face. "Thinking about trying out for the team, Swan?"

She groaned and looked up at me. "You prick. Why didn't you stop me?"

"Sorry. Emmett wanted to see the show," I laughed.

"Ugh. It's just I'm very protective of my son, and I couldn't very well hit the little shit who was being mean to him, so I chose the next best thing. Now on top of being labeled a kidnapper, I'll be known as a beast. My poor kid will never be able to have friends over because who would let their children stay at a psycho's house?" She covered her face again.

I wanted to say something to comfort her. I had plenty of options. For instance, she was a great mother who any child would be lucky to have. My children can't seem to get enough of her, and I would trust her with them any day. When I left, Leo had been bragging to the other boys that Bella was his mom. I could have said any of this. "Bella the Beast has a nice ring to it."

"Cullen," she growled, but I'm pretty sure she was fighting a smile.

"Uh oh. You're not gonna tackle me now, are you?" I continued, grinning like a fool.

"No," she replied. "The mom was more my size. I would hurt myself running into you." Damn. I really wouldn't have minded. "I better get back out there and cheer for our boys."

"That's the spirit, Swan," I swatted her on the ass and made a run for it. I knew I wasn't going to get away with that one. I could hear her coming after me, so I slowed down so she could catch up. When she did, she punched me in the arm. "Hey! I'm sorry. I had to do it. It's all a part of the game."

She glared at me, but I shot her a charming smile in response. Getting this woman riled up was one of my new favorite hobbies. "Don't you have some work to do?" she asked.

Sadly, I did. I was supposed to be helping Emmett check out the players. "I do indeed," I replied with a sigh. "I have to go make sure our boys end up on the same team or Ethan may very well move out."

"He can come stay with me," she offered.

"Like my son, do you?" I asked.

"Of course," she smiled. "He's the likable version of you."

I cringed and put my hand over my heart. "That hurt Swan. You are without a doubt the worst best friend in the history of best friendships."

"Yeah, yeah. Get to work, Cullen." She smacked my ass, surprising me and causing me to jump. "All a part of the game," she sang before jogging over to the bleachers. Did I mention I love football?

"Bout time you got back here," said Jasper as I sauntered over.

"Sorry," I smiled, taking the clipboard from him. I started watching the kids as they participated in the passing and receiving drills. We had enough teams that everyone would get to play. It wasn't a matter of making the team. It was which team, and Cullen Construction always had the best.

An hour later, all the head coaches went off to make their picks. Jasper went with Emmett to make sure he kept his cool. He could be overly passionate about his choices. I headed over to the bleachers and plopped down beside Rosalie who was watching Sophie entertain little Nathaniel on a blanket in front of her. "Thanks for keeping an eye on her. She made twenty bucks off your husband earlier."

"He's such a goober," she laughed. "I was watching the boys. Ethan's a natural as always. No one can touch that boy's speed. His friend Leo didn't really like tackling the other kids at first, but once he saw his mom do it, he was taking them down right and left."

"Of course Ethan's a natural. Like father like son," I teased. "Or I guess in Leo's case like mother like son. Where is Bella anyway?" I looked around, but didn't see her.

"She got a phone call, so she slipped away right before they called the coaches back. She looked a little worried. I hope everything's alright," Rosalie said sincerely.

"I'll go check on her," I offered, setting off to find her.

She was standing near the concession stand with her back to me. "No." There was a pause. "I don't care. You've caused me enough trouble." She had that no-nonsense tone going. "I swear if you show up here, I'll have you arrested." She growled and hung up.

"Everything alright?" I asked, startling her a little, so she whipped around.

"Yeah," she smiled. "Are tryouts over? I didn't miss anything, did I?"

I wanted to know who she had been talking to but thought it would be rude to ask. "They just ended, but you haven't missed anything. The coaches are making their picks. I never participate in that part. I get too hot-headed if someone tries to steal my kid. Pee wee coaches can be conniving bastards, let me tell you." I offered her my arm, "Shall we?"

She looked at me like I was insane. "You're going to escort me? We're going to football tryouts not the prom."

"Come on here, woman," I said, grabbing her arm and pulling her along.

It didn't take long for the picks to be made. I joined Emmett and Jasper to make the announcements. Emmett called out the names in alphabetical order. Ethan had a happy smile on his face when Bella and Rosalie cheered for him. He ran over and gave me a high five. There were quite a few names before he got to the S's. Ethan was crossing his fingers. "Swan!" Leo grinned and ran over to join us.

"Welcome to the team Sport," I told him, ruffling his hair.

"Thanks Edward," he smiled.

Once all of our players were called, we headed over to the side to discuss schedules and such with the boys and their parents. Then we were able to call it a day.

I looked over to where Ethan was standing with Bella and Leo. She was on her cell phone again, but this time she looked much happier. "Okay, hang on. Here he is." She handed it to Leo. "It's Grandpa Charlie."

He happily took the phone. "Pop! I'm on the team with my friend Ethan. His dad and uncles are the coaches." There was a pause. "Yes sir. He owns a company that builds stuff." Bella frowned. "She says she doesn't like him, but I think she does. You know how she is." I smirked and Bella snatched the phone away from him.

"Dad, Leo will have to talk to you later." She rolled her eyes. "You're not funny old man… Love you too. Bye." She put the phone in her bag. "Let's go kid. We've got things to do." She wrapped her arm around Leo's neck and pulled him with her. "Bye Cullens."

"Bye!" Jasper, Emmett, and Ethan chorused.

I grinned. "You like me!" She shook her head and kept walking.

A pink blur crashed into my legs. I looked down to find Sophie smiling up at me. "I'm hungry Daddy."

I bent down and scooped her up. "I guess I have to feed you then. I think it's Ethan's turn to choose." She nodded, so we both looked at Ethan.

"Tacos?" he asked hopefully.

"Mexican it is," I agreed.

Emmett had a wistful look on his face. "Aw man. I want tacos." He looked for his wife among the crowd. "Rose! Come on. We're eating Mexican. Sophie's buying!"

On the way to the restaurant, I called Bella to see if she and Leo wanted to join us, but no one answered. I tried not to worry. Those two could be up to anything, or she could be ignoring me out of spite. My phone vibrated as I pulled into the lot. I had a text.

_Leave me alone. I'm busy._

I smiled and put my phone away. I would find out what she was up to later.

Emmett already had an order of cheese dip on the table to go with the chips and salsa. He grabbed Sophie and set her on his lap, trying to convince her that the chips were better dipped in both. She was adamant in her belief that only cheese was better.

"Someone has a birthday coming up," I said to Ethan. "What do you want to do this year?"

"I want to go camping!" He had obviously thought about this before. "Do you think Bella will let Leo come?"

"I'll be sure to ask her," I promised. Leo was a little mischievous, but he was a good kid. I knew it would be fun to take the two of them camping out by the lake. Of course Dad, Jasper, and Emmett would probably end up coming too. They couldn't resist a little male bonding time.

Ethan looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe Bella should keep Sophie though, so she won't be by herself."

I laughed. "We weren't going to leave Sophie by herself, crazy. Your grandma will probably want to keep her."

"Not Sophie, Dad," he sighed. "Bella. If we take Leo with us, who's gonna stay with her?" My son was smarter than me now. When did that happen?

"Why don't you make the suggestion to Bella then? I'm sure she'd be happy to know that you were thinking about her." I couldn't help but be proud of him. I raised a good kid.

"Maybe you should do it then," Ethan suggested. "That way she'll like you more."

Scratch that. I raised a smartass. Rosalie got a kick out of it. "Oh honey, it will take a lot more than that I'm afraid."

"Hey!" Emmett interjected. "She may not like him, but she likes not liking him, so in a way she does like him because she doesn't."

"Did that make sense in your head?" Rosalie asked, offering Nate a teething biscuit.

"Nah," he replied. "I just thought it would be fun to say."

After dinner I stopped and got the kids an ice cream cone on the way home. I thought about calling Bella again, but I couldn't think of a plausible reason. I could have asked about the camping trip, but we had decided that Ethan would do that.

I went upstairs to the toy room where Sophie was coloring and Ethan was building things with Lego's. I got down on the floor between them and played with Ethan. I could build real houses in my sleep, but his toy fortress made mine look like a hut. He claimed I needed to practice. I had to hold him down and tickle him for that one.

I was about to put to them to bed when my phone rang. Jasper's name was on the caller ID. "Hello?"

_"It's coming!" _

What the hell? "What's coming?" I asked.

_"The baby! We're on our way to the hospital!" _

I heard Alice yelling in the background. "I'll see you there." I hung up and ran my fingers through my hair. I couldn't take the kids to the hospital this late, and there was no way I couldn't go. Jasper and Emmett were there for the births of both Ethan and Sophie, and Jasper and I were there for Nathaniel's. I smiled and called the first person that popped into my head.

_"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?"_

"Yes," I smiled. "But I need your help. Alice is having the baby, so I need to go to the hospital. Is there anyway you can find it in your heart to watch Ethan and Sophie for me?" I was already packing them an overnight bag as we spoke.

_"Was Tanya busy or something?"_

"Very funny," I replied. "I don't know how long I'll be out, so is it okay if they have to stay the night?"

_"You know it is. I'm surprised you didn't just show up. See you in a few."_

She hung up as I finished packing. "What's going on Dad?" Ethan asked, coming in wearing his pajamas. Sophie was standing beside him clutching a plush dog.

"Aunt Alice is having the baby, so I have to go to the hospital. You and Sophie get to go to Bella's," I replied, picking up Sophie and leading them to the door. They both smiled at the news.

It was Leo who opened the door when we got there. He and Ethan ran straight upstairs to his room, so I stepped inside with Sophie. I smiled when Bella came around the corner wearing a pair of lounge pants and a tee shirt. "Hi honey."

She rolled her eyes and took Sophie from me. "I should make you a key since you're here so much."

"You know you like it," I teased, handing her the bag I packed for them. "Thank you so much for doing this. I promise to make it up to you."

"Don't worry about it," she said, waving me off. "It's not like it's an inconvenience or anything. You better get out of here. I promise to keep them alive and happy, but if you get them back discolored or tattooed I don't want any complaints."

"That's all I ask." I leaned in and kissed Sophie's forehead, and before I could convince myself not to, I kissed Bella on the cheek. Then I turned and headed to the car before she could deck me.

When I got to the hospital, I met my parents with Emmett and Rose in the waiting room. Jasper was in the delivery room with Alice. "How's everything going?"

"Perfectly," Esme smiled. "Jasper was so cute. He was running around like a crazy man. He's usually the calmest of my boys."

"Where's my other grandchildren tonight?" Carlisle asked knowingly.

"Bella's," I replied, not able to keep the smile off my face.

"I like her," said Rosalie. Everyone looked at her in shock. "What?" she asked, offended. "I do like some people, you know. If I ever needed a partner in crime, she'd be the first person I'd call."

We were only in the waiting room for about an hour when Jasper burst in. "It's a boy!" We all knew it would be, but it was still exciting to hear. We were allowed back to see Alice then. It was the first time I had ever seen her in anything without a designer label, but she was still beautiful holding that little bundle.

"Meet Landon Jasper Cullen," she said quietly.

We took turns holding him. "You two did good work brother," I told Jasper. I had never seen him prouder.

I looked at my watch on the way to my car. It was almost midnight. I didn't know if Bella would be up or not, so I sent her a text message.

_It's a boy. Landon Jasper._

A few minutes later my phone rang. "Hello?"

_"Hey. How's Alice?"_

I smiled, "She's great. Her and the baby are both healthy. How are the kids? They're not causing you any trouble, are they?"

_"Nope. I'd let you talk to them, but they've all passed out."_

Seeing as how she was whispering I guessed she was in the room with them. "What time do you want me to come get them in the morning?" There was a long pause. "Bella?"

_"Why don't you stop by your house, get some clothes, and come over? You can leave the kids here while you go to work, but I'd rather not sleep out here with them by myself."_

I think my heart fluttered as girly as that sounds. She wanted me to come stay the night. "Out where?" I asked.

_"They convinced me to sleep in the tree house. Leo and I finished it today. This is a pretty quiet neighborhood, but with nuts like Tanya on the loose I'd feel safer with another adult here."_

I chuckled. "I'll be right over."

I drove like a madman to get to my house. I showered and got ready for bed. Then I grabbed everything I would need for work the next day before going to Bella's. She left a key hidden out front for me to get in, so I slipped inside and locked the door behind me. I put my bag on the table and went outside.

There was enough light to see, thanks to the moon and neighborhood security lights. I climbed the ladder to the tree house carefully. It seemed sturdy enough. I was impressed. When I peeked inside, I found all four of them asleep. Bella was against one wall with Sophie snuggled into her side. Leo was in the middle lying on his back with Ethan lying on his stomach beside him. I smiled and squeezed into the space between Ethan and the other wall.

"Cullen?" Bella whispered.

"Go to sleep, Swan. I'll protect you from your crazy neighbors," I teased quietly.

"Goodnight jackass," she yawned.

I smiled. "Sweet dreams. Bella." I knew that sleeping in a tree house wasn't going to be comfortable. I was going to be sore the next day… but it was worth it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella**

Ouch. Seriously, I have got to learn to say no, but it was freaking impossible. All three of the little monsters poked out those bottom lips and blinked those innocent eyes, and I caved quicker than a fat man in a buffet line. No offense to fat men. They're very huggable. I'm pretty sure sleeping in the tree house was the boys' idea even though they got Sophie to ask me. With a voice that sweet, they knew I wouldn't be able to resist. I would have to find some sort of defense mechanism for the future.

I didn't want to open my eyes, but those damn chirp happy birds were making it impossible for me to go back to sleep. "Stupid birds," I grumbled. I felt something move next to me. Slowly, I reached down with my hand and felt a warm little body. It was too small to be Leo or Ethan, so it had to be Sophie. My touch caused her to snuggle into me more.

The sound of the back door opening and closing forced me to open my eyes. "Morning Bella," Ethan whispered as he came back into the tree house. I smiled in response. Leo was sprawled out beside him, still sleeping peacefully.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty," said Edward. He was carrying a tray of muffins, two coffees, and a few juice boxes. I noticed that he was already dressed for work.

"You better be talking to one of the kids," I replied groggily. Mornings and I weren't the best of friends. I forced myself to sit up, readjusting a still sleeping Sophie so that her head was in my lap.

"Nope. Sorry," he replied. "Ethan's the only one awake. I doubt he'd appreciate me calling him that," Edward smiled. He handed me a coffee. "I've got to head off to work soon. I'll leave some money in case you need to buy anything for the kids."

I shook my head, taking a sip of the coffee. "If I buy them anything, it will be because I want to. You don't get to pay for it."

He poked a straw in one of the juice boxes before giving it to Ethan. "You have to let me do something. I can't let you keep my children without paying you anything."

"You can help Leo practice for football," I offered. I took one of the warm muffins and waved it in front of Leo's nose. He hummed and opened his eyes.

"Deal," Edward laughed. "But I get to buy him stuff too. It's only fair."

Leo sat up and groaned, stretching his arms out with a muffin now in hand. "Boy what a night."

"That's fine," I agreed. "Thanks for breakfast by the way."

"You're welcome," he smiled before sitting back and biting into his own muffin.

Ethan crawled over to me and lightly tapped his little sister on the nose. "Sophie," he sang quietly.

"Shh," she whispered. "Sophie's sleeping."

"I'm gonna eat your muffin," he warned playfully.

"No," she whined, but with a smile on her face.

"Then you better wake up," he replied grinning. He was a good big brother. Sophie sighed and opened her eyes.

The five of us had breakfast together before the kids went inside to watch cartoons. Edward helped me bring all the pillows and blankets back inside. "I better get moving. The sooner I go in, the sooner I can leave," he told me, grabbing his keys. I followed him to the door to see him out. "And I'm adding one more thing to our deal." I frowned. What more could he possibly want? "Once a week the kids will all stay with my parents. That means you and I will be stuck hanging out with each other."

"Are you asking me out, Cullen?" I asked bluntly.

"Of course not Swan," he said with that damn crooked smile. "We're going to go out as friends, and if we end up in bed together afterward, so be it."

"I don't put out on the first date," I replied, folding my arms.

Edward huffed impatiently. "I'm taking you on more than one, genius." He quickly looked at his watch. "I've got to get work." He kissed my cheek. "See you tonight."

That was the second time that man had kissed me. I shut the door and touched my cheek. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I wasn't accustomed to having someone treat me so… nicely. There were really only two men I had ever let into my life in the past, Charlie and Felix. My dad and I were very close, but neither of us were overly affectionate. We hugged each other when we needed it, and that's about it. Felix treated me like one of the guys. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have been able to tackle that devil woman so easily.

Now there was Jacob and Edward. Jacob was a great friend. He always seemed to be in a good mood, and he was the best neighbor a single woman could ask for. I knew if I needed anything, he'd be there in a second. Edward was… well now he was a part of my everyday life. He was constantly showing up at every turn whether I asked him to be there or not. After a little bit of thought, I decided I really liked having him around… but I wasn't going to tell him that.

I got the three munchkins dressed and drove into town. "What are we shopping for, Mom?" Leo asked as we walked through the hardware store.

"I feel like getting messy today, so we're going to paint the game room." I tossed three sets of child size coveralls in the cart. Then I found a pair for myself and the hats to match.

"You're letting us help?" Ethan asked.

"It's no fun getting messy by myself," I smiled. While I grabbed rollers and brushes and everything else we needed, Leo and Ethan picked out a paint color. It took us nearly an hour to get everything because the boys were so indecisive. They finally decided on a bright shade of orange, and we got some wall stickers to put on later.

Before going home, I stopped at the diner for lunch. Sophie and I sat across from Ethan and Leo in a booth. A young woman skated over to take our order. "Your children are adorable," she gushed.

"Oh," I started, but stopped when I saw Ethan look down sadly. "Thank you. I think so too." He raised his head and smiled, so I winked at him. I knew how it felt to only have one parent. Renee left Charlie and I when I was around Sophie's age, but at least I got to see her every now and then. I didn't know much about Ethan and Sophie's relationship with their mom, but I was led to believe that she was out of the picture for good.

When we finally got home, the kids quickly put on their coveralls. I had to roll Sophie's up a little, but they all three looked pretty darn cute. We covered the floors with plastic, and I taped everything off while the boys opened the paint. I knew I was asking for trouble, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

Leo and Ethan were having a blast. They were covered in paint of course, but at least they got the majority of it on the walls. Surprisingly enough they were doing a pretty exceptional job once I reminded them to smooth out any runs. Sophie was sitting on my shoulders to reach the high parts. She was dripping paint all over herself and my hat. I knew it was going to take forever to get all of the paint off their skin, but at least they were enjoying themselves.

"I think we better call it a day," I announced a few hours later. I turned around to find the kids lying down on the plastic and painting silly designs on each other's coveralls. No wonder it had taken so long. My help had abandoned me.

"I look like an Oompa Loompa," said Ethan, taking in his orange hands.

I laughed because it was true. "Take off those coveralls and try to wipe off as much paint as you can. I'll take you all out back and hose you off." I was glad Edward had sense enough to send them more than one pair of clothes for the day. I trailed behind them through the house with a wet cloth in case they dripped. Orange spots wouldn't look too good on my hardwood floors.

The kids had as much fun getting cleaned up as they had painting. Ethan informed me that he and Sophie and never taken a shower in the backyard before. I had soap all over the place.

"What are you doing to our children?" I froze upon hearing the familiar velvet voice. I forgot I had given him a key.

"She's hosing us!" said Sophie.

I turned around and smiled. "Really Cullen, how could you let your kids go through life without ever taking a shower outside? It's inconceivable."

"They're orange," he replied. "I guess you weren't lying about that warning last night."

"Nope," I said, shaking my head. "We painted the game room. Now grab some soap and help me out here."

He rolled up his sleeves and got to work. Ethan and Leo found it funny when he scrubbed their heads like they were his pets or something. I grabbed a towel and wrapped Sophie up in it. Then the boys came over with their teeth chattering, so I helped them bundle up too. Edward decided he would cook dinner while we all got into dry clothes.

When I returned to the kitchen, I heard Ethan telling Edward about his day. "Bella put Sophie on her shoulders to reach the top. That's how she got paint all over her. You'll have to come look at it, Dad. Bella said that Leo and I did a really good job."

The doorbell ringing stopped me from eavesdropping. I was filled with dread thinking of which neighbor I might have to face. Hopefully Tanya didn't see Edward's car and decide to invite herself over. I opened the door to find a furious Jacob Black in uniform. "Hey," I said concerned. I had never seen him mad before. "What's wrong?"

"I caught someone sneaking around your house. They claimed to know you," he replied, reaching to the side and pulling the perpetrator into view. "Look familiar?" I knew exactly who it was.

"I told you I would have you arrested if you showed up here." Apparently my threat fell on deaf ears.

"It's good to see you too, Sissy," the wild child replied with an unaffected smile.

"_Sissy?_" I jumped as both Jacob and Edward replied. I didn't know Edward was behind me.

Leo came bounding down the steps. His eyes widened when he saw who was at the door. "AH! Aunt Nessie!"

"Leonardo!" she shouted back, mimicking his excited tone. "I'd hug you, but this fine officer felt the need to cuff me. A little help here Bella?"

"Jake, you can let her go. This," I paused, trying to think of the right word, "unique young lady is my little sister, Renesmee 'Nessie' Dwyer. Our mother was clearly high on painkillers when she named her."

She smirked. "We can't all have such fancy names as Isabella."

"_Isabella?_" the male duo replied at the same time again. It was getting a little creepy.

"What are you even doing here Ness? Aren't you supposed to be in rehab?" I asked. With Mom and Phil on the road all of the time, Nessie had picked up a few bad habits. The girl was trouble at its finest.

"I'm clean," she announced smugly as Jacob reluctantly uncuffed her. I wondered what she did to piss him off so badly. "I just need a place to crash for a few days before I can move into the dorms. I'm going to State."

I groaned. I loved my sister, but she was riding the crazy train and always picking up new passengers along the way. "Here's the rules. No smoking, no drinking, and no cursing in front of the kids unless you want to lose all your money. If we get arrested for any of your bright ideas, you have to sit next to the butch lady next time."

Nessie looked confused. "Kids? Did you pop out another one while I was in rehab? And who is the man-candy who can't decide between staring at me or your ass?"

Edward stepped forward then. "I'm Edward Cullen. Your sister kidnaps my children from time to time," he smiled, shaking her hand.

He was checking out my ass?

"She always did have strange ways of meeting men," Nessie replied.

I gasped, "You little-"

"Oh really," Edward cut in. "Well, I was making dinner. Why don't you come on in and you can tell me all about it?" I was about to smack him. "There's plenty if you want to join us Jake. I'm making omelets."

"I think I've enough for one day, thanks," said Jacob, glaring at my sister. I seriously had to find out what she did to him.

"Why are you so pissed?" Nessie asked instead. "I'm the one who had her ass chased around the block because you refused to believe that I wasn't a criminal."

I swear steam shot out of his ears. "Your ass was in _my _car that _you _stole!"

"Borrowed," she corrected smoothly.

"Is that a no on the omelet?" Edward asked, clearly amused with the situation.

"Get your ass in the kitchen," I replied, clearly not as amused with the situation.

"Is 'pissed' a bad word?" Leo asked. "If it is, I'm up to five bucks."

I grabbed Leo by the shoulder, turning him around and leading him into the kitchen where Ethan and Sophie were sitting patiently at the table. I dropped down beside them and my face in my hands. "I was just kidding about the five bucks, Mom," Leo said softly.

"Get over here," I replied, pulling him into a hug. Then I turned to Ethan and Sophie. "I'm warning you both now. My sister is here. Don't do anything she tells you without coming to me first."

"Gees Bella, you make it sound like I'm sort of delinquent," said Nessie. She plopped down across from us. "Hello kiddies. I'm your Aunt Nessie."

"Ness, this is Ethan and Sophie. They're good kids, and I plan on making sure they stay that way," I warned. Renesmee had the power of persuasion down to an art, so I knew the kids were in danger of being corrupted. "And what happened to your hair?" It used to be a little lighter than mine. Now it was mostly dark but with blonde and red highlights mixed in.

"I couldn't decide on a color," she shrugged.

Apparently Jacob decided not to stay because Edward came back alone. "Jake had to go back to the station," he said. He finished up the omelets, and I helped him fix everyone a plate. When we turned around, Nessie was battling Ethan in a thumb war. She cheated and used her other hand to hold his thumb down.

"Hey!" he laughed.

"What?" she replied. "I never promised to play fair."

"I'll have to teach you how to fight dirty if you're going to play games with her," I offered, setting a plate in front of him.

Dinner went better than I expected. Edward tried to get some information out of Nessie, but she wasn't one to spill everything at once. She liked to keep some things for possible bargaining tools for the future. She did enjoy telling him about some of the different things we got up to back when I would visit Mom during the summer.

"It's no surprise that she's kidnapping children these days. She stole our neighbor's dog and held it hostage until the woman's husband agreed to stop mowing the front lawn without his shirt. She didn't get in trouble because everyone agreed that it was done for the good of the community," Nessie explained.

Edward was eating it all up. I vowed to get back at him by spending time with his brothers later. I was sure that Emmett would be happy to tell me anything and everything that Edward wouldn't want me to know. He and the kids had to leave as soon as dinner was over. He was taking them by the hospital to meet their new little cousin before visiting hours were over. He invited us to come along, but there was no way I was setting Nessie loose with the Cullens yet, and I wasn't about to leave her in my house alone.

Leo went to bed not long after they left. It had been a long day, so I didn't blame him. The little guy was wiped out.

"I believe we have some things to settle." Nessie tossed me a pillow. "Shall we take this outside?"

"Nessie, I'm not-" A pillow to the face shut me up. "Outside. Now," I growled.

The pillows didn't last long. Feathers were flying all over my yard when my sister lunged for me. We wrestled in the grass like a couple of wild women, but it was long overdue. I finally got her pinned to the ground. "You asked for this." I blew a raspberry on her cheek.

She screamed and fought to get me off of her. "Bells! Ugh, you know I hate that!" She managed to push me over. "Almost as much as you hate this." She stuck her finger in her mouth before sticking it in my ear.

"You bitch!" She was right. I hated that with a passion.

We were so into our little battle that neither of us noticed Jake's police cruiser pulling up. "What is going on here?" he asked with authority, shining his flashlight on us.

"Well if it isn't Officer Goodbody," Nessie grinned.

"I got a call about a domestic dispute in the neighborhood," he replied, ignoring her jibe.

It was starting already. Nessie hadn't been here a day and I'd already had the cops called on me. "Which one of these pansies ratted us out?" I asked.

Jacob shook his head. "You know I can't tell you that," he replied, but motioned to Tanya's house at the same time. _Tanya_. I should have known.

"Thanks Jake. We'll take it inside." I stood up and plucked a few feathers out of my hair.

"Goodnight ladies." He got back in his car and drove off.

"Who lives over there?" Nessie asked, looking at Tanya's house.

"Her name is Tanya. I guess she's still upset about me foiling her attempt to get into Edward's pants." It's not like she didn't have plenty of other pants to choose from.

Renesmee pulled her multicolored hair into a messy bun on top of her head. "Wanna get back at her?"

I should have said no. "What do you have in mind?" Ten minutes later, I was dressed in all black with a box of itching powder in hand. "Do I even want to know why you have this?"

"I'm gonna distract her. You sneak in through the back and sprinkle that on the bed and her pants. I'd say go for her underwear, but from the sound of it, she doesn't wear any," Nessie whispered.

I watched from the bushes as Nessie strolled right up to Tanya's door and knocked. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but it looked like a heated conversation. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when Nessie grabbed the woman's face and pressed her lips firmly against Tanya's. That girl would go to any lengths for a prank. I stealthily rushed to the back of her house and jimmied the lock with a credit card. It hadn't been my first time. Tanya's room wasn't like I expected… except for the mirrors on the ceiling. Everything else appeared innocent and pristine. The powder blended in nicely with her white sheets and down comforter. I cringed when I found her toys instead of clothing in the top drawer. I wasn't aware that she ever needed a replacement for the real thing.

When I was safely back outside, I gave Nessie the signal. I did a pretty good bird impressions if I may say so myself. Nessie met me back inside my house. She was wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "What took you so long?"

"You didn't tell me you were going to make out with her!" I whispered disbelievingly.

"It's the only thing I could think of!" she argued. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to disinfect my mouth and call it a night!" She stopped before she got too far and turned around. "Goodnight Sissy."

I smiled. "Goodnight Ness." Having her around for a few days wouldn't be so bad after all. I locked up and went to my own room to get ready for bed. My head had just hit the pillow when my phone vibrated. It was a text from Edward.

_Sweet Dreams Isabella_

I shook my head but couldn't help smiling. That reminded me; I would need to pick up a roll of duct tape for my little sister's mouth as soon as possible.

* * *

**AN: For those who were wondering, Edward is 28, Bella 26, Jacob 25, Renesmee 20, Ethan 7, Leo 7, and Sophie 3.  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Edward**

When I pulled up to Bella's house the next morning, she and her sister were standing on the front lawn with their arms folded as they kept their attention glued to the house across the street. Ethan and Sophie let themselves inside, so I walked over to stand beside Bella. "What are we watching?" The words were barely out of my mouth when Tanya came storming out of her house with her sheets in hand. She angrily threw them in a barrel and set them aflame before screaming and going back in.

"She's been at it all morning," said Bella. "Apparently she doesn't know how to use a washing machine because that itching powder will rinse right out."

"Kinda makes you want a s'more, doesn't it," said Nessie. "I'll go get the marshmallows." She turned around and headed inside.

Tanya came out again with an armful of clothes. She screamed again and tossed them into the barrel, making the flames rise higher. "Do I want to know?" I asked.

"Nessie's idea. Tanya called the cops on us, so we broke into her house and sprinkled her stuff with itching powder," Bella explained nonchalantly.

I nodded. I knew it had to be something like that. It was scary how the things she did were starting to make sense to me. "Mom's agreed to keep the kids tonight. She and Dad want to take them to Chuck E. Cheese's."

"Shit." That wasn't the reaction I had been hoping for. Bella quickly turned to me. "She's coming over." That made me feel a little better.

"This is an _outrage_!" Tanya yelled as she approached. Her face was three shades of red.

"I know," Bella replied, sounding completely scandalized. "I can't believe you kissed my little sister!"

Nessie chose that moment to reappear with a bag of marshmallows and a wire hanger. "Hey Hot Lips."

"I- She-" Tanya stuttered. Then she screamed again and went back to her house.

Bella sighed, "I love this neighborhood."

I couldn't help but gape at Nessie. "You kissed Tanya?"

She shrugged, "You got to do what you got to do. I don't plan on any repeat performances though. No matter what she says, I think she got off on it." Nessie shuddered at the thought.

"You better not have turned her into a lesbian. Otherwise, there's gonna be a lot of angry men in this town," Bella warned.

"I can't believe I'm leaving my children with you people," I teased. "Mom will be by to pick them up at four. I'll swing by to get you at five."

She crossed her arms under her chest. "Where are we going?"

"On a date. Have a good day," I kissed her nose and walked away, smiling when I heard her huff of annoyance behind me.

When I got to the office, I found Emmett in the foyer with his feet propped on the front desk and a book in his hands. He was so entranced that he didn't even notice me come in. That was very unEmmett like. "Did you lose a bet or something?" I asked.

He almost fell off the chair I startled him so bad. "Dude! I didn't even hear you come in."

I quickly seized the book from him before he could hide it. My eyes widened at the words that leapt off the page. "You're reading a tawdry romance novel? Em, this is erotica! Don't you get enough from Rosalie?"

"She's the one who gave it to me," said Emmett, snatching it back. "She wants to try a little role-playing, so I'm reading up on my character. I'm a sexy mountain man."

"You can't be serious," I replied. This was too much.

"Mountain man? As soon as the doctor gives her the green light, Alice has a cowboy costume ready and waiting," said Jasper as he walked in with a few files to put away.

Emmett nodded in understanding. "I've got to read that one next. I can't wait to tie Rose up."

I couldn't believe this. "I'm going to get to work." I started down the hall.

"I left one on your desk for you and Bella. It's about an escaped convict," Jasper called after me.

It was official. My brothers had lost it. Sure enough I found a novel lying on my desk. I put it away. If it was so stimulating that even Emmett and Jasper were reading, I needed to stay away from it until at least my second date. The thought of getting Bella into my bed had crossed my mind on more than one occasion, but I didn't want to rush it. I didn't want to screw anything up.

I spent the day sketching out new designs until lunch time. Before I could open my door to head out for a break, Jasper slipped in. "I wouldn't go out there if I were you."

"Why not?" I asked. Unless Emmett and Rosalie were getting a head start on their fun, I couldn't think of any reason not to go to lunch.

"The foyer is filled with possible secretaries, and they're all keeping a lookout for the available Cullen. There's too many of them. You could get violated, and there would be nothing Emmett or I could do to save you," he explained, shooting me a sympathetic look before going back out there.

I groaned. I was starving. I knew that Bella would find this amusing, so I sent her a text. A few minutes later my phone vibrated.

_Suck it up, pretty boy._

I didn't know how long I had been hiding in my office when I heard a light tapping on my window. My eyes widened with surprise when I saw who it was. I quickly opened the window. "What are you doing here?"

"You said you needed to be rescued. Are you coming or not?" Bella asked. "The kids and I are going to get Chinese."

"I haven't climbed through a window since college," I admitted, climbing out nonetheless. I followed her over to the truck where the boys and Sophie were waiting patiently. "How am I going to get back in?" I asked after greeting them.

"Nessie's taking care of it. The foyer will be cleared by the time we get back. We have to remember to bring her some sweet and sour chicken and two egg rolls." I wasn't even going to ask.

The restaurant was just around the corner, so we were there in no time. The boys walked in front of Bella and I while Sophie walked in the middle, holding our hands. It was what a family was supposed to look like. We sat at our table in much the same way with Ethan and Leo on one side and the three of us on the other. "We're having another family dinner tomorrow night at Jasper and Alice's. I was thinking you could get there early, so us men can practice a little football."

"Uh huh," she replied, concentrating on her chopsticks. "Screw it," she grabbed a fork instead. I used my own chopsticks to offer her a bite of my shrimp. I almost thought she wasn't going to take it, but after a moment, she parted her pretty lips and let me feed her. When she finished chewing, she shook her head. "Real smooth Cullen," she said sarcastically.

"All a part of my charms," I smiled.

Ethan snorted. "Charms? Dad, Grandma taught you how to do that." Bella nearly choked on her food.

"Thanks Son," I replied. The little devil grinned at me.

On the way to the truck, Bella was still teasing me. "Don't worry Edward." She leaned in and whispered, "I think momma's boys are sexy."

I laughed and gave her a playful push. "Get in the truck Swan. You need to get home so you can get ready for our hot date." She winked at me. Five o'clock couldn't get here fast enough.

When we got back to the office, Nessie was sitting at the desk answering phone calls, "Cullen Construction this is Vanessa. How can I help you?" She typed a few things into the computer. "Yes, Mr. Jenks, I can schedule you in for three o'clock next Tuesday… You too." She hung up.

"Vanessa?" Bella asked, putting her to-go box on the desk.

"Renesmee is too much of a mouthful and Nessie wasn't mature enough," she explained. "You can go on home without me. I have work to do." She answered the phone again, "Cullen Construction this is Vanessa. How can I help you?"

Bella turned to me. "Um… congratulations? You have a new secretary."

I nodded, "So it would seem. Don't worry. If she gets out of line, I'll call Jake."

"Good luck," she replied. "Let's go kiddos." There was a chorus of goodbyes as they left the building.

"You checking out my sister's ass again, boss?" Nessie asked, feigning innocence.

I turned around and shrugged. "It's a really nice ass. Get to work Vanessa." She smiled slyly. Oddly enough, I think I that earned the approval of the little sister.

At exactly five o'clock, I knocked gently on Bella's front door. When no one answered, I knocked a little louder. Still no answer. I rang the doorbell. Nothing. Finally I took out my key, unlocked the door, and stuck my head in. "Swan! You're killing me here. Come answer the damn door!" I shouted.

"Keep your pants on Cullen! I'm coming!" she yelled back.

I shut the door and waited. I was about to ring the doorbell again when the door opened and Bella stepped out, looking as beautiful as ever. I cleared my throat and offered her a bouquet of seven tulips. "One for each day I've known you," I explained. "You look beautiful."

"Um, thank you," she replied. "You're not so bad yourself." She looked at the flowers, "I'll uh… I'm gonna put these in some water. I'll be right back." She quickly disappeared from my view. I couldn't help but smile. I had stunned the smartass.

She came back out a few moments later and locked the door behind her. "Alright, Mr. Cullen, where are we off to this fine evening?" I took her by the arm and led her to the car, opening the door for her. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"Not until I get you into a locked moving vehicle," I replied.

"That bad, huh?" she asked.

"Get in the car, Swan." I shut the door behind her before jogging around to my side and getting in. As we made our way down the road, I kept sneaking glances at her. There was so much about her that I still didn't know. I pulled the car over to the side of the road and put it in park.

It looked like we were in the middle of nowhere. "I swear if you ask me to get in the backseat, I'm going to shove these uncomfortable shoes up your ass."

I got out and opened her door for her. "Give me a little credit. If I planned on getting into your pants this early in the evening, I would have taken you to my house."

"Charming," she replied dryly. "Where the hell are we?"

"I'll explain. I promise." I stood in front of her and bent over a little. "Hop on." She didn't. "Don't be difficult. I'm not letting you walk through the woods in those shoes." I smiled when I felt her give in and climb on my back.

Bella wrapped her arms loosely around my neck. "You smell good, Cullen."

We walked through the woods in a comfortable silence. I was paying close attention to where I stepped. Falling would be bad on so many levels. Either she would get hurt and I would feel terrible or my pride would get hurt and she would never let me live it down. Falling was not an option.

"Here we are," I carefully helped her down and pointed up. There was a wooden platform built in the tree above us. "This is the first thing I ever built." I motioned for her to climb the ladder that led to it.

"Is it safe?" she asked warily. I did my best to look insulted. "What? Wood does tend to rot, you know."

"I've taken very good care of it," I assured her.

The sun was starting to go down, so I had candles waiting on the platform. When Bella saw them, she looked at me questioningly. "Are we having a séance?"

I began unpacking the cooler that held our dinner. "I built this when I was a kid. I didn't know anything about wiring back then, so we'll be needing those for light." I offered her a chicken salad sandwich with a charming smile.

"How did you know this was my favorite?" she asked suspiciously.

"Our new secretary is very helpful," I replied. I had badgered her for information before leaving the office.

"Nessie," she grumbled, but she moaned softly when she took a bite. "This isn't what I was expecting when you suckered me into this date," she admitted.

I lit the candles. "This is the first date. This is where we get to know each other, and I can think of no better place to do it. Besides, you're stuck out here until I decide to show you the way back."

She looked around then, realizing she had no idea how to get back to the car. "Shit."

Chuckling, I poured her a glass of wine. "So Ms. Swan," I thought about all the things I wanted to know about her. "Who was your first kiss?" It seemed like a safe place to start.

"Felix," she answered. "He was my first everything."

Maybe it wasn't a safe place to start. The envy I held for this guy I had never met was surprising. I wasn't normally the jealous type, but thinking about her with her legs wrapped around anyone else but me… I needed to stop. My pants were getting uncomfortably tight. I decided to play it cool. I could still do that even though I was a single dad with two kids. "How did that work out for you?" I asked.

Bella smiled. "Great… once we got a little practice."

"He needed practice?" I asked smugly. "I got it right the first time."

"Shut up, Cullen," she replied, bumping into my arm.

This was nice, just sitting here, me and her. I must have been a masochist because I had her tell me about all of the men in her life. I couldn't help it. I wanted to know everything there was to know about her.

"Demetri, Aro, Caius, Marcus, and James," Bella listed easily. When my eyes nearly bugged out of my head, she rolled her eyes. "You asked about the men in my life, not my sex roster. Those are the guys who I sort of hung out with in the past. Demetri is Felix's brother. He was usually too cool to hang around us high school kids. Aro was the king of the school. Marcus and Caius were his sidekicks. I think they hung out with me because my dad was the chief of police. James was the mysterious guy that everyone else was too afraid to hang out with, so he ended up with us. I've made out with a couple of them for fun, but Felix and Leo's father are the only two men I've ever been with."

"Bella," I tried to think of a better way to ask this. "Bella, were you raped?"

"What?" Her eyes snapped to mine. "No."

I explained, "It's just… you said you didn't know who Leo's father is, so I assumed."

She groaned and leaned back against the base of the tree. "I was at a stupid masquerade ball. Don't laugh," she warned me. "I was aggravated. It was my senior year. There was so much pressure on me. I wanted to let go and walk on the wild side." She laughed humorlessly. "It was dark and everyone was wearing masks. I was a little buzzed, but I wasn't drunk. I knew exactly what I was doing when I snuck away with him. I didn't want him to take off his mask. The mystery of not knowing and the excitement of possibly getting caught was exactly what I thought I needed. We used a condom, but obviously it wasn't effective."

"Did you try to find him? This mystery guy?" I was sure she must have.

"I did, but there were more people at that thing than there were at my high school, and I didn't have much to go by. My guess is, he found out I was pregnant and freaked, so he didn't come forward." She paused for a moment. "I don't regret it. I did something stupid, but I got Leo. It wasn't easy. I had to give up a lot to take care of him, but that was my choice, and he was worth it."

That hadn't been what I was expecting. Then again, Bella never did anything that I expected. Why should the conception of her child be any different? "I know what you mean. You have tough situations, but you make the best of it. Being married to Victoria was something I could have done without, but I wouldn't trade Ethan and Sophie for the world."

She nodded with a soft smile. "We do have some pretty amazing kids."

We sat there quietly for a few minutes, and I finally couldn't help myself. "So… Leo's father… Was he more Phantom of the Opera or Jason from Friday the 13th?"

"I can see now I'm going to have to kill you," she sighed.

Laughing, I stood up and offered my hand to her. "Dance with me."

"Hell no," she replied.

"You're being difficult again, Swan." I reached down and pulled her up myself.

"There's no music Jackass." She tried to pull her hand away, but I wasn't having that.

I wrapped an arm around her waist and brought her close to me. "It just so happens that I am a remarkable hummer."

"You're also full of shit," she informed me sweetly. Ignoring her, I began to hum a nice melody and slowly turned us around in circles. There was only so much room on the platform. "I feel like an ass," she admitted.

"Shut up, Swan," I replied and continued humming. She finally stopped fighting. I savored the moment, holding her in my arms as we danced under the stars… in a tree. "This reminds me of a poem."

"Oh crap," she groaned.

I smiled. "Edward and Bella sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-"

She stopped me there, "Finish that poem and I'll push you off this platform."

"Fight it all you want, Isabella," I stopped dancing and pulled back a little so I could see her face. "But I will get that kiss."

"Well it won't be here. It's about to rain." A sprinkle hit my cheek as though to prove her point.

"Damn." I pointlessly blew out the candles and packed up the cooler. I would come back for it all later. When we got to the ground, I helped her on my back. She held the flashlight as I got us back to the car. We didn't make it before the bottom fell out. We got soaked.

Bella was shivering in the car, so I turned up the heat. "You sure know how to show a girl a good time."

"Wait 'til you see what I have planned for next week." I winked at her, and she laughed. When we pulled up to her house, she jumped out of the car and took off. There was no way in hell I was letting her get away from me. I ran after her, catching her before she got to the door.

She shrieked as we lost our balance and landed on the wet grass. "You tackled me," she said in disbelief.

I rolled over on top of her, careful not to crush her with my weight. "I told you I would get that kiss." She started to no doubt call me a few profanities, but I covered her mouth with mine. I couldn't help but groan when my tongue came in contact with hers. I knew we needed to get inside soon, but when her small hand made its way into my damp hair and her mouth started moving against mine, I decided that the risk of us catching a cold was worth it.

Bella lying underneath me and fighting to catch her breath was something that I could definitely get used to. "You're still a jackass," she panted.

Before I could reply, a police cruiser stopped in front of the house. Jake got and opened the back door, pulling Nessie out by the arm. He bent her over the hood and removed the cuffs that kept her hands behind her back before getting in the car and driving off again.

"Thanks for the ride!" she shouted after him. Then she turned to us and smirked. "Well… looks like the date went well."


	8. Chapter 8

**Bella**

The house was too quiet. Leo ended up staying the entire night with Edward's parents, or as he now called them, Grandpa and Grandma. Esme called me and informed me of her plans to keep my son along with Ethan and Sophie until we could meet for lunch the next day. That left me sitting on the couch flipping through the channels while Nessie got ready for work.

"You and the man candy looked pretty cozy in the yard last night. Couldn't make it to the house?" she asked, waggling her eyebrows. I wanted to rip the piercing from her lip.

"Speaking of last night, why the hell were you in cuffs… again?" That was the second time in three days.

"I forgot that you drove me to work, so I needed a ride home. Emmett and Jasper offered, but where's the fun in that? I called the cops and told them there was a break-in at Cullen Construction," she smiled. "Officer Goodbody was pissed."

I shook my head. Poor Jacob. My sister was going to give him ulcers or something. "How are you getting to the office today?"

"My bike," she said, tossing up a set of keys and catching them again. "I'm not getting laid, so I need something exciting between my legs."

"Go to work," I replied.

"Love ya," she sang on her way out the door.

I was about to relax and try to enjoy having a moment to myself, but some cruel person had other ideas. "Bella, I've been wanting to talk to you all week. We have so much to catch up on. Why didn't you tell me you were bisexual? I would have understood."

Jessica freaking Newton. "How did you get in here and what the hell do you mean bisexual?"

"Your 'partner' let me in," she said, using those annoying little air quotes.

It was official. Nessie had to die. "Ignore her. That was my sister. She's fresh off the funny farm."

"Right," she nodded and winked like she was in on some scandalous little secret, "your sister." The bitch really believed I was bisexual. "So listen, Mike and I wanted to have you over for dinner sometime. Is tonight good for you?" She winked at me again.

Hell no! What kind of people were living in this neighborhood? "Sorry. I'm having dinner with the Cullens." Then I smiled, "But I'll see if Nessie can stop by later if you want. She's a little wild but overall good company." Little sis was going to learn the hard way not to mess with me.

Jessica agreed to talk to Mike about it as I walked her to the door. "We would still love to have you over sometime," said Jessica. "Anytime," she whispered. The crazy bitch actually caressed my ass before leaving. I was going to kill Nessie! But first I was going to take a shower. That shit made me feel dirty.

I took my time getting ready for the day. I even put a little effort into by actually fixing my hair and foregoing the messy bun. I would be meeting Esme at a ritzy little café, so I even put on a pretty sundress. I hoped she knew what she was getting into taking Leo to the café. That was simply asking for trouble.

When I got there, I left my truck with the valet and went inside. Esme was already there and had made arrangements for me to be escorted to their table. What I saw surprised me. I had to do a double take to make sure that was really my son. He was sitting next to Ethan, both of them wearing button up shirts and clip-on ties.

"I do say this tea is splendid, Grandmother," said Ethan with a horribly fake British accent as he lifted a cup a tea with his pinky up.

"Splendid indeed," Leo added in the same fake accent.

Sophie, who was wearing an adorable little lavender dress, was giggling while Esme was trying to keep a straight face as she conversed with the two knucklehead boys. When she saw me her smile widened, "Bella."

The two boy immediately stood from their seats like proper little gentlemen. "What did you do to these boys?" I asked Esme.

She smiled and kissed my cheek. When I sat, so did Leo and Ethan. "I told them to behave like gentlemen, and they took it to the extreme," she explained.

"Hi Bella," Sophie smiled.

"Hello Miss Sophie," I replied. "Did you have fun last night?"

"Yes ma'am," she answered. "Did you?" she asked innocently.

Esme leaned forward. "I'm curious for that answer myself."

I felt my treacherous cheeks burning. "Um…"

"Ready to order?" Saved by the waitress!

The boys kept up their silly British gentlemen charade as they placed their orders. The waitress was a champ and treated them as such instead of talking to them like the crazy little boys they were.

"You might as well tell me your side of the story," said Esme. "Edward has already told me his."

"Oh, has he?" I replied, wondering exactly what he had said for her to look at me like that. "Did he mention that he tackled me in the rain before I could get inside my house?"

Her eyes widened. "He did not." I nodded. She shook her head, "That boy. Don't you worry. I'll take care of him for you."

"Thank you, Esme," I smiled. If I was going to date the jackass, it was good to have his mother on my side. "My son didn't give you any trouble, did he?"

"Of course not," she replied, winking at Leo who grinned happily.

"If you say so," I replied. I didn't believe her for a second, but I thought it was really cute how she was covering for him. I knew he wasn't a terror, but he wasn't an angel either.

Lunch was going smoothly. Esme was without a doubt the nicest woman in existence. It was impossible not to love her. We were all sharing a desert when I saw her eyes narrow. She took her napkin off her lap and set it down on the table. "Bella, could you excuse me for a moment? I'm terribly sorry. I'll be right back."

"Sure. Take your time." I didn't know what had caused her sudden change in demeanor, but when I looked over at the boys, Ethan appeared upset as well. I turned slightly in my chair to see what the hell was going on. Esme was speaking to a woman with red hair that I didn't recognize. Neither of them looked happy.

"Who's that?" Sophie whispered.

"Nobody," Ethan replied.

His sullen tone surprised me, but then everything clicked. The woman Esme was speaking to was Victoria, Ethan and Sophie's mother who abandoned them because she was unhappy with the way her life had turned out. Sophie was a baby when she left, so she couldn't remember her. Ethan could though.

"I'm stuffed," I admitted. "Are you guys ready to go?"

"Can we go to the pet store?" Leo asked.

"Sure, but you're not suckering me into anything," I warned. I saw his shoulders slump a little, and I chuckled. I knew he was up to something. "Come on. We'll wait for Esme outside." I went to pay, but I was informed it was already taken care of. Damn Cullens. They were all alike.

Sophie and Leo walked in front of me while Ethan stayed by my side. I put my arm around him and pulled him closer. When Leo saw, he reached down and took Sophie's hand. "I think there's fish in that fountain. Can we go see?" He always hated for people to see him upset, so he probably thought Ethan was the same way. I nodded. He was a smart kid.

I sat down on a bench nearby so I could keep an eye on them. Ethan sat beside me, so I wrapped my arms around him. "I missed you guys this morning," I admitted.

"Bella?" he said quietly. "You won't leave us, will you?" Damn that woman.

"Look at me." I waited for him to look up. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "I love you, and I love Sophie, and you're both stuck with me now whether you like it or not." He nodded and I kissed his cheek. "Now can you do me a favor? I think your dear friend Leo is trying to catch Sophie a fish. Could you tell him that if he succeeds, I'm taking the fish home and leaving him here?"

"Okay," he smiled before running over to the fountain. I saw him say something to Leo, who in turn smiled at me sheepishly.

Esme came out then. She sighed and sat down next to me. "I'm sorry. I'm guessing you figured out who that was." I nodded. "She said she was here on business. I may have led her to believe that you and Edward were married."

My eyes widened. "Esme!"

"What?" she replied unabashed. "I didn't lie. I said you were my new daughter." She patted my leg and stood up. "I've got to be going now. Take care of my three grandchildren and I'll see you tonight." She strolled away to her car.

"Ready to go not buy me a pet now?" Leo asked, running over with Sophie and Ethan.

"Get in the truck," I ruffled his hair and sent him on his way.

I would not buy a pet. I was lucky I was able to keep Leo alive for so long. There's was no way I could take care of a pet too. I had to stand my ground no matter how many lips were poked out.

"AH!" I was suddenly knocked off my feet and being licked to death by a great white beast.

"Oh look, Mom! He likes you!" said Leo, smiling down at me.

"Get him off of me," I replied. It took both Leo and Ethan to coax the monster off me. It was now licking a laughing Leo. "Don't even think about it Mister."

"But Mom," he whined. "It's meant to be."

"It is not," I argued. He was full of shit.

The store owner came running over. "I'm so sorry. I hope you weren't hurt." He turned to the dog, "Bad dog, Shredder."

Leonardo gasped and looked at me with wide eyes. Damn it! Stupid Ninja Turtle villain. "We'll take this one," I grumbled.

"Yay!" the kids were jumping up and down as I went to fill out the paper work.

Shredder ended up sitting next to me on the passenger seat. Ethan had somehow gotten him to wear a seatbelt. If I wasn't so annoyed with myself for buying the damn dog, I would have probably found it more amusing. The bed of my truck was full of dog food, chew toys, and pet owner essentials.

When we got to the house, the kids ran straight to the backyard, taking the beast with them. I huffed and pulled out my cell phone.

_Cullen Construction. This is Vanessa. How can I help you?_

"Find out if they build doghouses." No greeting was needed.

_Is that your way of calling me a bitch?_

"I bought a dog, you twit," I replied. "I would build the house myself, but the last time I built something I ended up with a nail in my thigh."

_Hang on. I'll put you through to your man candy. _

Shit. "Nessie! Don't you-"

_Edward Cullen._

"-dare." Crap.

_Bella? _

How the hell did he know it was me from one word? "I need a doghouse, and I don't want to build it myself."

_I didn't know you had a dog._

"I don't," I replied. "It's for when you stay over." He chuckled.

_You don't have to go through any trouble for me. I'll sleep in your room. _

I shook my head and decided to change the subject before my mind went to places it didn't need to go. "I took the kids to the pet store and came home with a beast of a dog. There's no way that thing is staying in my house."

_Okay. I'll come by later and take a look at this beast, so I can design something big enough._

"Thank you," I replied.

_You are more than welcome. So… what are you wearing?_

Jackass. "Goodbye, Cullen," I smiled and hung up. I looked out the window to see the boys helping Sophie take a ride on Shredder. Crazy kids. I let them play until it was time to go to Jasper's. While they got cleaned up, I wrote a note for Nessie, disguising my handwriting and signing Jessica's name at the bottom. As far as my sister knew, she would be going over there to pick up a package left at their house by mistake.

When we got to Jasper's, Esme signaled for us to be quiet and follow her. She led us through the house to the backdoor. I could see through the window that the men were already tossing around a football. "When I give Carlisle the signal, Edward is going to crouch down. He tackled you, so it's only fair that you get him back." She opened and closed the blinds three times. I watched as Carlisle said something that got the guys in position. Esme opened the door quietly, "Go get him." Love her.

Edward was much larger than the Mean Mom, so when I slammed into him, it didn't feel exactly pleasant. However, when I saw the shocked look on his face, it was completely worth it. "Payback's a bitch, Cullen."

"Dude!" Emmett laughed. "You got tackled by a girl."

I tried to get up, but his arms immediately wrapped around my waist. "Where do you think you're going?" he smiled.

Jasper came to my rescue. "Save it for later stud. We've got some players to train." He helped me up. "They don't call you Bella the Beast for nothing, do they?"

After greeting everyone, I sat off to the side to watch them play. Edward was wearing a sleeveless shirt that faintly showed off the muscles hidden underneath. I tried to concentrate on something else, but my damn eyes were stuck. He was crouched down beside Leo showing him the best way to hold the ball when he noticed me looking. The bastard winked at me. I had to go inside.

Holding Landon helped keep my mind out of the gutter. He was such a cute little guy. I couldn't help but think back to when Leo was this tiny. I was so scared back then that I would screw him up somehow. I did a pretty good job though if I may say so myself.

Since the guys were going to be all sweaty, Alice decided it was a nice evening to eat outside. She put little Landon in his crib and brought the baby monitor out with us. I didn't mind eating outside. Sweaty Edward was a beautiful thing to behold. The kids did a little speed eating so they could go back to playing. Luckily they were preoccupied when two new guests showed up.

"Isabella Swan, I'm going to kill you!" How did she know where Jasper lived?

"Nessie," I smiled. "How did you get here?"

Jacob walked out behind her. "Sorry Bells, but I didn't want to miss the show."

"I went over to the Newton house this evening to get the package. They invited me right in for dinner, and figured, what the hell? A girl's gotta eat." Oh, she was pissed. "So I sit down at the table, and imagine my surprise when Jessica starts rubbing my shoulders and purring about how tense I am." I was going to lose it. "I got a little weirded out, so I told them I needed the package. Mike stands up, says 'oh I've got your package', and drops his freaking pants! How could you trick me into going over there?"

"It's your own fault for telling Jessica you were my lover!" I shouted back. "She rubbed my ass, Nessie. I felt so cheap." The roar of laughter from the table was making it hard for either of us to stay angry.

"I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to pimp me out to your kinky neighbors," she replied.

Jacob chimed in. "If you weren't such a pain in my ass, I would've warned you when I saw you going over there."

Nessie dropped down into an empty chair. "I can't believe I got sober for this shit."

"Have some pie," said Carlisle, sliding a plate in front of her. "Jacob, take a seat, son. There's plenty for everybody."

"This is almost as good as those books we've been reading," Emmett admitted.

"What books?" Jacob asked. I took a sip of my tea.

"The Mistress Marie series," he answered.

Poor Jake. I sprayed sweet tea all over him and started coughing. Edward patted me on the back. "Read those books, have you?" he smirked.

"Read them?" Nessie smiled evilly. Oh God please no. "You're looking at the woman who wrote them." I swear everyone froze.

"_You're _Mistress Marie?" Rosalie said, gaping at me along with everyone else at the table.

"So _that's _what you do," laughed Alice.

I stood up. "Renesmee." Her smile faded. "Run."

She was fast, but I was faster. "Uncle! Uncle!" I had her on the ground with her arm pinned somewhat painfully behind her back. "Come on, Bella. At least they appreciate your work."

"I wouldn't go to sleep tonight if I were you," I growled as I finally got off of her.

"I forgot how scary you can be," she replied, pushing herself up and rubbing her arm.

After enduring I don't know how many sexual innuendos from everyone including Edward's parents, I decided to call it a night. I stuck Nessie with Jake since he was the punk that brought her here in the first place. I was following Leo to the door when Edward caught up to me and grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together. I looked over at him and noticed that he was obviously trying not to laugh. "Shut up, Cullen."

He smiled, "I didn't say anything… Mistress."

"Ugh! You b-" He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine. I put my hands on his chest to push him away. Who the hell did he think he was? Who was I kidding? Damn, he had nice lips. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer as he plunged his tongue into my mouth. I let out a moan that would probably embarrass me later, but at the moment, I didn't give a damn.

When he broke the kiss, he rested his forehead against mine. "Goodnight Bella." He kissed me quickly one more time before turning to go back in the house. "See you tomorrow, Sport." He messed Leo's hair as he walked by.

Leo was standing there with his mouth wide open. "Am I getting a Dad?"

"I already got you a dog. Don't push it," I ushered him forward.

He got in the truck with a huge smile on his face. "Wait 'til I tell I Ethan!"

* * *

**AN: For those of you who don't watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Bella named Leonardo after one of the turtles and the dog was named after one of the main villains. In Leo's words, it was meant to be.  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Edward**

I changed into a pair of shorts and a tee shirt before heading out of my office. "I'll be out for the rest of the day."

Nessie snorted. "You find out your girlfriend writes porn and you can't get to her fast enough."

Girlfriend. I'm sure Bella would frown at the word, but I thought it fit perfectly. I would have to call her that in my head. "I'll be sure to swing by the Newtons' and tell them you said hello." She shuddered. "Have a good day, Nessie," I smiled.

"Sure, sure," she grumbled as I walked out of the building.

Earlier when I had gone by to drop the kids off, I got a chance to meet Shredder. When Bella called him a beast, she was only exaggerating a little. Her dog was bigger than Sophie. I spent the first part of my day designing the blueprints for its new home. Then I borrowed Emmett's jeep and stopped by the hardware store before heading over to Bella's.

I rang the doorbell, but as usual, no one answered. That didn't matter now that I had a key, so I let myself in. I didn't hear any noise, so I figured they must be out back. I walked through the house and froze when I saw Bella. She was crawling across the floor with a water gun in hand. There were black markings on her face that made her look as though she were ready to either battle or play football.

I cleared my throat, causing her whole body to flinch. Then she realized it was me. "Cullen! You scared the shit out of me!"

I continued to stare with an amused smirk. "What the hell are you doing?"

She scowled. "This is my house Don't judge me." Her eyes widened when we heard footsteps. "Get down!" she whispered urgently. Before I knew it, my legs were taken out from under me. "Sorry," she whispered, hearing me groan.

"What the hell, Swan?" I groaned. Hitting the floor that hard had not been pleasant.

"Be quiet," she snapped. "They'll hear you."

We stayed crouched down on the floor as the kids looked for us. "Bella!" Ethan sang. "Come out, come out where ever you are!"

"Shredder!" That was Leo. "Go find Mommy, boy."

Bella cursed quietly. "Those little cheaters." Before she could make a run for it, Shredder came charging into the room. Leo, Ethan, and Sophie came running behind him, each armed with their own water guns. Bella tried to fight back, but there were too many of them. Since I was next to her, I ended up just as soaked.

"Aw," said Sophie. "It's empty." She pulled the trigger on her gun, but nothing came out.

"Okay, let's go reload," said Leo. "Hi Edward!" They were gone as quickly as they came.

I looked over to see Bella leaning against the wall, panting. "So this is what you do while I'm at work."

She smiled, "Sometimes. What are you doing here anyway? You're early."

"I am here to construct you a doghouse," I replied. "Wanna help?"

"Sure," she shrugged, blowing a piece of hair out of her face. "I'll set up the slip-n-slide to keep the kids busy. I don't feel like getting shot with a nail gun again."

"That didn't turn out so bad the last time. You got to spend the whole day with me," I teased. I stood up and pulled her to her feet. "I'm going to get the supplies out of the jeep. I'll meet you in the backyard." I could tell already it was going to be an interesting day.

Once the kids were occupied, Bella joined me on the patio. "Where do you want me?"

"The kitchen table, but right now we've got work to do," I replied.

"Can I borrow your nail gun?" she asked innocently.

I immediately shook my head. "If anyone is getting nailed here-"

She put her hand over my mouth. "Work to do," she reminded me.

Hearing the kids screaming and laughing in the background made for a nice work atmosphere. I did most of the work on the doghouse. Bella informed me that she didn't want to get in the way of a professional. "Bullshit," I laughed. "You just want me to do all the work."

"I'm painting it," she replied in mock offense. She wanted it to match Leo's treehouse, so she was painting the roof green.

I stood up and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind. I leaned forward over her shoulder so my face was next to hers. "Are you almost finished?"

"I've been finished. I was pretending to work, so you wouldn't ask me to do anything," she admitted.

"That's it," I growled. "I'm getting a water gun."

She turned around in my arms with a mischievous smile on her face. "Bring it on, Edward." Then she escaped my grasp and ran in the house.

Ethan brought me his gun. "Good luck, Dad."

"Thanks Son." I put on my game face. "Yell if you need us." Then I stepped through the backdoor and into the war zone. I kept my back to the wall, creeping through the house like I had seen cops do in one too many movies. I knew Bella had the advantage. This was her domain, so she knew every hiding place. I slipped down the hall that I knew led to her room. The door was cracked and I heard the distinct sounds of someone moving around. My smile grew as I got closer. Slowly, I pushed opened the door before stepping in with my finger on the trigger, ready to fire.

"Freeze." Damn. The voice came from behind me. "Don't move or I'll shoot," said Bella in a no-nonsense tone. "Put your hands where I can see them."

I started to raise my arms. "Take it easy." Then I remembered something important. It was a damn water gun. I whipped around and began shooting. She was too surprised to fire back at first, so I got a few good sprays in. Then my gun ran out of water.

She smirked. "I emptied their guns while you were unloading the jeep." She pointed her own directly at me. "Looks like you're out of ammo."

I dropped the empty gun on the floor. "I'll just have to take yours."

Bella was out of the room before I could blink. I raced after her, jumping over the obstacles that she threw in my way. We ended up in the kitchen on opposite sides of the table. Her face was flushed from running and laughing. "You did say you wanted me here," she smiled, glancing at the table.

My mind immediately went to images of Bella on her back with me on top of her. However, a stream of water snapped me out of it. Shit. She knew mentioning that would distract me. "I'm going to get you."

She smiled deviously and started to make a run for it again, but this time I was ready. I caught her by the waist and swung her around. "Put me down, Cullen," she said, fighting against me.

"You're not getting away from me this time, Bella." I dropped her on the edge of the table and stood between her legs. "You're mine now," I playfully growled before attacking her lips with mine.

"Damn," she whispered against my mouth, causing me to pull back briefly.

"What?" I asked, making sure nothing was wrong while fighting the temptation to rip her shirt off.

"I dropped my gun," she sighed. Then she smiled and grabbed the back of my head, bringing my lips back to hers. I wrapped my arms around her as she fisted a handful of my hair. I started to push her back, but she broke the kiss. "Wait," she panted. "Our kids eat on this table."

At the moment, I didn't care. "I'll build you a new one." I caught her lips in another kiss, moving forward, so that she had to lean back. Once she was flat on the table, I slid one hand under her tank top, feeling the smooth skin underneath.

"Edward," she pulled away again.

"You really need to stop doing that," I replied, leaning back down for her mouth again.

She stopped me. "Look out the window."

"Bella," I groaned. "You're killing me." She pointed to the window, so I turned to see what was so important. Three kids and a dog were staring back at me. "Shit," I whispered. I stood up reluctantly and helped Bella climb off the table. I took her hand in mine, and we walked outside to face the music.

Leo was the first to speak. "Mom," he started seriously. "You said we're not allowed to play on the table."

I bit down on my tongue to keep from laughing at the look on her face. Of course then Ethan had to speak, "And Dad, you said not to tackle girls." I saw Bella chewing on her bottom lip. "What are we going to do with you two?" he asked.

"Call Nana," Sophie replied and went to run past us to get inside.

"Oh no you don't." I caught the giggling girl and swooped her up in my arms. Her bathing suit got me even more wet but I didn't care. "You three aren't going to tell anyone what you saw." My family would have a field day knowing I almost lost control with Bella in front of my children.

There was too much mischief in the boys' eyes for my liking. I looked at Bella and she nodded. "We're going to have to bribe them until I can put together some form of blackmail."

"What will it take to keep you quiet?" I asked.

"We need to discuss this with Sophie," Ethan replied. I set her down and she ran over to join the boys in a huddle. They were whispering amongst themselves and peeking over their shoulders at us every now and then. I knew we could just threaten them, but this was more amusing.

After what appeared to be an intense discussion, they turned back to us. I braced myself for the worst. "Can we go to the zoo?" Leo asked.

"I need to discuss this with Edward," said Bella, teasing them a little as she pulled me away. "We can go to the zoo if you want," she whispered. "But make sure they don't talk me into anything. The last thing I need is to come home with a pet zebra or something."

"I think the zoo is a great idea. We'll just explain that a zebra won't fit in the truck." I turned back to the kids. "You might want to change out of your swimsuits before we go." They ran into the house.

"Do you have extra clothes with you?" Bella asked.

I nodded. "In the jeep. Why?" She looked at the slip-n-slide and then back at me. I smiled and grabbed her hand again. Together we ran and dove onto the plastic, sliding fast and crashing into the small pool at the end. "That's gonna leave a mark."

"What's the matter? You getting too old for this kind of thing?" Bella teased.

"I'll show you too old." I pinned her down and pressed my lips against hers. They were so damn soft.

"Bella?" Damn. Caught again. Sophie ran over to where we were. "Will you fix my hair?" she asked sweetly. Bella lightly pushed me off of her and stood up. I wanted to pull her back down, but even I had enough decency to behave in front of my three year old. Sophie smiled at me. "Sorry, Daddy."

I kissed her cheek without getting her wet. Then Bella took her hand and led her inside. I ran out to the jeep to grab my bag and then went into one of the guestrooms to dry off and change. I would have gone to Bella's room, but I knew that was dangerous with our children awake and in the house.

The boys were sitting on the couch watching Animal Planet when I came out. Ethan moved over a little, so I sat down in between them. I caught Leo grinning beside me. "What are you smiling about?" I asked, not able to hold back my own grin.

"You kissed Mom," he replied.

"Is that okay with you?" I knew my kids loved Bella, but I wasn't one hundred percent sure how much Leo liked me, despite how brightly he was smiling. I didn't get to spend as much time with him as I would like.

"Yes sir," he answered quickly. "You'll need to talk to Pop though," he added. "Don't worry if he pulls his gun out. He won't really shoot you." He scrunched his nose. "I don't think." Well _that _was comforting.

Bella came out with Sophie. "We're ready now."

Luckily the zoo wasn't very crowded. Sophie was riding on Bella's back with her little arms wrapped loosely around her neck. I was trying my hardest to convince the boys that I could talk with the animals.

"Tell him to come closer," said Ethan, challenging me.

I sighed and turned to towards the ape. "Excuse me." I heard Bella snort. "Would you please come closer, so these boys can get a better look." I paused for a moment. "Oh, I see." I looked at Ethan and Leo. "She's not coming. I think you hurt her feelings by calling _her _a _him_."

Leo looked at Bella. "Is he lying?"

"How would I know?" she answered with a straight face. "I can't talk to animals."

"If you can talk to animals, how come you've never done it before?" Ethan asked. He thought he had me there.

"I don't like to show off," I replied.

Bella chimed in, "Now I know he's lying."

I bumped into her with my arm. "Traitor." We continued on to the reptile house where Sophie came to me. She didn't like snakes, so she hid her face in my neck and told me to tell her when it was over. The boys, however, thought they were the coolest things in the world. I watched as Leo turned to Bella.

"No," was all she had to say. He sighed and went back to looking. I couldn't help but chuckle.

One of my favorite parts was the bat exhibit. Ethan and Leo held Sophie's hands since it was rather dark in the man-made cave. I thought it was great that they got along so well. Most little boys didn't want to hang out with their little sisters, but neither Ethan and Leo ever seemed to mind. While thinking all of this, I felt a soft hand grab mine. I looked over to see Bella biting her lip. "I hate the dark. Tell anyone, and I'll kill you," she whispered. Smiling, I pulled my hand free so I could wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side. I wasn't going to tease her over this new found weakness; I was simply going to make sure we visited a lot of dark places from now on.

Around dinner time, we ordered a few burgers and hotdogs and went to the picnic area. It was near the petting zoo, so when the kids finished eating, we let them go over to see the animals. "We may not go home with a zebra, but how would you feel about a goat?" I asked.

Bella smiled, but kept her eyes on the kids. "Only if it stays at your house. My dog already doubles as a horse."

"You've never been to my house," I realized. It was strange since my kids practically lived at hers. "You'll have to come by tomorrow. I'll cook dinner for the five of us, and you and Leo can spend the night."

"There is no way I am giving Nessie free reign of my house for an entire night," said Bella.

"I'll have Jake arrest her for something," I offered.

Bella thought about for a moment before smiling. "Okay, but I'm sleeping in a guest room."

I poked out my bottom lip. "But my room is so much better."

"Good, because that's where you'll be sleeping. Imagine if those three caught us in bed together. We'd have to _buy _them this zoo to keep them quiet," she replied.

"We can afford it," I smiled. I knew there was no way I was going to win right now, but I would try again when I got her to my house.

Before the place closed, we rode the train that went around the entire zoo. The rows were big enough for all five of us to sit together. Sophie crawled over onto my lap. "I'm sleepy, Daddy."

"You can go to sleep. Daddy's got you." I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. She snuggled into my chest and dozed off not two minutes later. The boys helped pick her out a stuffed animal in the gift shop before we left since she was still unconscious.

On the way home, I could hear Leo whispering to Ethan. "That was fun. I always wondered what it would be like."

Ethan asked what I wanted to know. "What _what _would be like?"

"Having a Dad," he answered quietly.

"It's great," said Ethan. "But I want a Mom, too." I chanced a glance at Bella, knowing that she could hear them too. She was smiling sadly, so I reached over and grabbed her hand, bringing it back to my lap. "I'll let you borrow my Dad if you let me borrow your Mom," Ethan offered.

"Deal," said Leo. I gave Bella's hand a squeeze, and she intertwined our fingers in return.

I walked Bella to the door when we got to her house. Leo was so sleepy that he went straight inside after giving me a hug and letting me kiss the top of his head. "I got you something." I said to Bella, offering her a zoo gift bag.

She looked at me skeptically before reaching and pulling out the stuffed animal. Her lips twitched upward as she fought a smile. "Cullen, what the hell is this?" she asked, looking at the plush donkey.

I smiled. "I wanted to get you something to remember me by when you're sleeping without me. You're always calling me a jackass, so this seemed to fit."

"It fits perfectly," she smiled. "Now go home. I'm tired."

"Can't," I replied. "You haven't kissed me goodnight yet. It's a requirement now."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and stood on her tiptoes for a quick, soft kiss. "Thanks for the jackass."

I grinned, "Anytime."


	10. Chapter 10

**Bella**

_To have a Dad._

Those four little words broke my heart. I wanted Leo to have everything. He was my life and I never wanted him to be unhappy. Being raised by Charlie, I knew what it was like to miss a parent. However, I had something Leo didn't. I had the option. I could have gone and lived with Renee and Phil if I wanted, but they had Nessie, and Charlie needed me. Leo would never have the choice. He would never even know his father's name. That was something I could not fix, and it made me feel pretty damn helpless.

"Holy shit!" I jumped at the sound of Nessie's voice.

I whipped around to see her staring at the window with a pair of binoculars. "Ness! What the hell are you doing?"

She didn't look away. "Your neighbors are going at it like bunnies with the blinds open. That French guy is really giving it to her." She gasped. "He's spanking her!" Then she huffed and turned to me. "You couldn't have sent me to _those _neighbors?"

I snatched the binoculars away from her. "You lecherous perv."

"Come on, Bells," she whined. "I've got a job. I'm about to start school again. I don't drink or do drugs anymore. I'm turning into a respectable young woman, and it's making me sick."

"Aw Nessie," I put my hand on her shoulder as a comforting gesture. "You are not a respectable young woman." I really did try not to smile.

She shoved my arm playfully. "Thanks Sissy. You always know what to say to make me feel better." Then she surprised me by wrapping her arms around me. "Whatever you were thinking about earlier, let it go," she said sincerely. I hugged her back. Who knew the little pervert could be so sweet? "Now," she pulled back. "I've got to leave early. I'm gonna send Tanya some flowers to screw with her head."

There was the Nessie I knew. "Have a good day," I called after her. As she was pulling out, Edward was driving up. I smiled as Ethan ran towards me.

"Good morning, Bella. Is Leo up yet?" he asked.

I shook my head. "He's still asleep. Why don't you go pounce on him and see if you can wake him up?" He grinned deviously and ran into the house and up the stairs.

Edward walked towards me with Sophie in his arms. "Morning," he smiled, causing Sophie to look up. She reached out her arms, so I took her, letting her snuggle into me before going back to sleep. "She didn't want to get up this morning," Edward explained.

"That makes two of us," I admitted.

"See. I knew you'd like sleeping with a jackass," he teased.

"Bad word," Sophie mumbled into my neck.

Sighing, Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out a dollar. "I blame you for this," he told me before slipping the bill in the pocket of Sophie's purple pants.

I laughed. It was really for the best. We needed to stop with the foul language. It wouldn't do for our sweet kids to let one slip out because they accidentally colored outside the lines at school. "Will you be at practice today?"

"It's just Emmett today. Jasper and I have a project to oversee and then I have to get home and clean the house. I'm having guests." He seemed particularly pleased about that last part.

"I hope you know what you're getting yourself into." Pretty much everything Leo and I did was a little on the unusual side. Being friends with crazy people was one thing; inviting them to stay at your house was completely different.

"I'll see you ladies this evening." He kissed both of our cheeks before heading off to work.

Once all the kids were good and awake, I helped the boys get pumped up for practice. We started out in front of my bathroom mirror perfecting their game faces. Then, after watching the movie Little Giants, I ended up holding a couch cushion, so they could practice hitting. For lunch, we had what they considered "man food", pizza and wings with root beer. Two hours later, I dropped them off at the field.

Sophie and I went shopping for an hour. I needed to get her some more clothes to keep at my house since I insisted on getting them so messy all of the time. For the most part, I let her pick out everything herself. She pointed to a simple pink shirt that was out of her reach. "This one?" I asked, grabbing the hanger. She nodded, so I made a move to take it off the rack. Only a hand with long red fingernails grasped my wrist to stop me.

"That will clash horribly with her hair," said the woman with the claws.

I didn't even bother looking at her. I simply removed my wrist from her clutches and gave the shirt to Sophie. "It's the one she wants," I replied.

The bitch scoffed. "She's a child. You can't let them make their own decisions."

"It's a shirt, not a career choice," I said, handing Sophie a dollar before turning around. "And who the hell-" Crap. The bitch was a woman I had only seen once before at the café, Victoria.

She was wearing a smug smirk. "I do believe that _I _am that girl's mother. The question is: who the hell are _you_?"

I bent down and picked Sophie up. "Your replacement."

That seemed to push a button. "You can't replace me," she replied tersely.

"Okay," I gave it some thought, "then I guess I'm the upgrade. If you'll excuse me, I have to go pickup my boys from football practice." I pushed past her on my way to the counter. I swear if Sophie wasn't with me, I'd run over that woman with my truck. Nessie would help me hide the body.

I barely had Sophie buckled in when I heard the woman come out of the boutique. "I wasn't finished!" I closed the door, so Sophie couldn't hear me. I didn't want to go broke.

"Seriously lady? What the hell is your problem? You're the one that left them, not the other way around!" Bella the Beast was getting ready to come out and play.

"I wasn't ready for a family!" she screeched.

"Then you should have kept your damn legs together!" I shouted back. She couldn't pull that shit on me. Her reasons for leaving were nothing but selfish. There was no way I would sympathize for that woman, especially when there were so many young mothers out there without an Edward to stick around.

She raised her hand to slap me, but it never made contact. My eyes widened as Victoria got knocked off her feet by a little blue sports car. She hit her head hard enough to knock her out but not kill her. Tanya stepped out of the car and dropped her keys in her purse as though nothing had happened. Although when she passed me, I swore I heard her mumble, "Always hated that woman." Victoria groaned and started to wake up, so I got in the truck and calmly drove away.

My life was turning into a soap opera.

Practice was almost over when we got to the field. Sophie held my hand as we walked closer to where the boys were standing off to the side. Neither Leo nor Ethan saw us coming as they talked to the kid I remembered as the devil's spawn.

"My dad can beat up your dad." Did he seriously just say that? I could see Leo getting a little red in the face. I hoped he didn't lose his temper over something so silly.

Ethan shook his head. "Impossible my dad comes with an Uncle Emmett and an Uncle Jasper."

Not happy with that reply, the demon focused his evil on Leo instead. "Well, _you _don't even have a dad." Forget what I thought before. Now, I hoped Leo would kick his little ass.

My son never disappointed me. He tackled the little twerp. "I don't need one," he frowned before standing back up. "My _mom _taught me to do that." I could kiss him.

I cleared my throat, causing them all to jump. Satan scrambled off the ground and ran away. Leo looked down at his feet, and Ethan bit his lip nervously. I knew that violence was not the answer, but how was I supposed to say anything when I had done the same thing to that kid's mother days ago. I got down on my knees in front of him. "Are you okay?" I asked. I hated the thought of him being teased over something he had no control over. He looked up at me surprised. "We're going to have to stop tackling people, you know, unless it's on the field."

"We were on the field," said Ethan. I looked at him and he blushed, "Sorry."

"I'm not in trouble?" Leo was baffled.

"Not this time," I conceded. "But if he bothers you again, you should tell Emmett. Now, I believe I made a deal with both of you about letting me kiss you in public."

Leo groaned but with a smile, "Aw, Mom!"

I grabbed him and kissed him loudly on the cheek. Then I did the same to Ethan before letting them go back to practice. I picked up Sophie. "Of course, I can't forget about you," I smiled as I kissed her too. She giggled in response.

After practice, the boys and Sophie hopped in the truck. I was about to get in when someone called out for me in the most annoying way possible. "Hey Mistress! Wait up!"

I glared at the coach. "Emmett."

"I wanted to say hello to my favorite author before you snuck off," he grinned, wrapping me in a bear hug. I bit him. "Whoa! Save that for my brother, kitten."

"You're a pig," I told him, smiling.

"Write a book about it," he replied. "Oh wait…"

"I'm leaving now." I got in the truck. He was still laughing as I drove away.

It was getting close to time to leave for Edward's so I packed Leo and I a bag when we got home. "Where we going?" he asked. Ethan and Sophie looked curious as well.

"Well," I started, "I don't think it's fair that Edward, Ethan, and Sophie have spent the night here, but you and I haven't spent the night at their house."

They all three looked excited. "You're sleeping over at my house?" Ethan asked. I nodded and they tackled me. Apparently they liked that plan.

After making sure Shredder had enough food and water for the night, we were on our way. Luckily my monster truck had a GPS or I never would have found the place. Leo even asked if I got us lost again as I drove down the curving driveway through the woods. Ethan informed him that we were on the right track, which was good, because I was having doubts myself. Finally, we pulled up to the gorgeous three story house.

Edward met us at the truck with that crooked grin on his face. "It's about time you got here," he said as he took our bags from me. Ethan had already led Leo inside to show him his room.

"I would have gotten here sooner if you didn't live in the f-" I glanced at Sophie, "uh… _freaking _woods. Who do you think you are? Goldilocks?"

"Isabella," Edward sighed. "It was the three bears that lived in the forest. Goldilocks was trespassing." He grabbed Sophie with his other arm. "As a writer, you should know more about the classics."

Was that a sly jab at my occupation? "I can still go home, you know," I warned, not meaning it for a second.

"Oh no, please, I'm sorry," he immediately replied.

"Don't leave, Bella," said Sophie. Both she and Edward poked out there bottom lips. They were pretty damn cute.

I pretended to think about it. "Fine. I guess I'll stay."

"Right this way, my lady," said Edward, motioning towards the house the best he could with his arms full. Once inside, he set Sophie down, and she ran out of sight. He smiled at me, "Let me show you where you think you'll be sleeping." He offered me his now free arm.

"Where I _will_ be sleeping," I corrected as I took his arm. He ignored the comment and led me up through the house, pointing out things along the way such as the kitchen, dining room, living room, and library.

"Here we are," he said, leading me into a large bedroom with dark blue walls. There were large windows that let in plenty of light and a very comfortable looking bed with plenty of white blankets and pillows. He set my bag down on a chair against the wall. "I'm sure Leo will want to stay in Ethan's room, so if you want, you can stay in mine."

I shook my head. "This is perfect. Thank you."

He huffed. "My room is right down the hall if you need me. In the mean time, dinner's ready." Before I could reply, he swept me up in his arms and carried me bridal style out of the room.

"Edward, what the hell?" I tried to get free, but the man's arms were too damn strong.

"I'm sweeping you off your feet," he grinned cheekily.

"When you put me down, I'm gonna knock you off yours," I replied.

He tightened his hold on me. "That doesn't give me much incentive to put you down, now does it?"

"Mmm mmm! Something smells good," Leo said as he, Ethan, and Sophie came into view. "Oh hello," he grinned when he saw us.

"What are you guys doing?" Ethan asked with an air of mischief.

"I didn't want Bella to get lost," Edward explained, walking past them to get to the dining room. He set me down when we got there.

"She does get lost a lot," Leo admitted as the three of them came in behind us. I shot him a playful glare before sitting down in the chair Edward pulled out for me.

The only thing I have to say about the meal Edward prepared for us was: it was Italian, and it was _good_. It was so delicious that I almost missed the fact that he was running his foot over my leg under the table. When I looked at him, he winked and continued eating.

I'm not sure how it happened, but after dinner I found myself tangled up with Edward and the kids in an intense game of Twister. Edward was a lousy cheater. Every time a new command was called, he would reach for the circle most convenient for me. Finally, I had enough. When right hand blue was called, I reached for the one right between his legs. When I _accidentally_ brushed his crotch, Edward hit the ground in surprise.

I smirked. "I win."

We watched a movie after that. Everyone got ready for bed and reconvened on the couch. Halfway through it, Sophie was asleep and the boys were fighting to stay awake themselves, so we decided to put them to bed. Edward took Sophie and I followed the boys to Ethan's room.

Leo was sleeping on the top bunk, so I had to step up to kiss him goodnight. "If you need me, I'm downstairs."

"I'll be fine, Mom," he replied. "Love you."

"Love you too. Goodnight." I kissed his forehead and climbed down to see Ethan. "What about you? You're not too big to get tucked in, are you?" He smiled and shook his head, so I pulled his covers up a little and kissed him like I had Leo.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered.

I ran my fingers through his soft hair. "I love you too, Ethan. Goodnight." I smiled as I walked out of the room.

On the way to my room, I ran into Edward. "Wanna play Twister again?" he grinned.

"Beating you once is enough for me," I bragged.

"We both know you cheated," he replied as he took me by the arm and led me downstairs. "I'm not ready to go to bed yet. Stay up and eat some ice cream with me." That's how we ended up back on the couch with a carton of ice cream and two spoons.

"I got the chance to meet your ex today," I confessed. All playfulness faded from his face as I told him how she confronted me in the boutique.

He groaned and stressfully ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Bella. She gave up all of her rights to the kids. She has no business being anywhere around them or you. She's not even supposed to be here."

I shrugged. "Tanya hit her with a car." I explained that she was okay, just took a nasty spill.

"Are you serious?" he asked. He was almost as shocked as I had been. "Should we send her flowers or something?"

"Nessie already did that today," I replied.

"That reminds me, Jake called earlier. Nessie will spending the night at the station for assaulting an officer," said Edward. "Apparently, those two have been bickering back and forth since she first stole his car."

The news wasn't unbelievable. I think Nessie lived for that sort of thing. "What set her off?"

"She kept prank calling his office, so he finally came after her. When she saw his car pull up, she hid. He came in all pissed and ready to arrest her, so when he got close enough, she dove onto his back. Our security cameras caught everything. I'll let you watch it later," he told me. I couldn't wait.

Before the carton was empty, I faked a yawn. I had to make sure I went to bed alone. I wasn't going to have sex with anyone unless we were completely in love with each other. Condoms break. I loved Leo, but I couldn't risk having another child without a father. I knew if anything happened, Edward would do the right thing, but I didn't want a baby to be the reason I married someone. "I think I'm going to call it a night."

Edward pouted a little, but nodded. "It is pretty late, and we have a big game tomorrow." When he went to the kitchen to put everything away, I snuck off to my bedroom like a coward. I locked the door and turned off the lights before climbing into bed. Hopefully he would think I was already asleep.

Sleep didn't come easily. I had been lying there for half an hour and I was still wide awake. I felt the bed dip beside me and a warm arm wrap around my waist. I quickly rolled over to look at him. "How did you get in here? I locked the door."

"I used the window," he said with a crooked smile. "I know you didn't think you were going to sleep without kissing me goodnight." He ran his fingers into my hair and pressed his lips gently against mine. My eyes closed involuntarily. He was a damn good kisser.

When he started to deepen the kiss, I came to my senses and pulled away. "I'm not sleeping with you, Cullen."

"Correction," he whispered. "I won't be fucking you, but I will be sleeping with you. I can be a good boy. I promise." He kissed me softly once more before turning me over and pulling my back to his chest. "Sweet dreams Isabella."

I'll be damned if I didn't fall right to sleep.

* * *

**AN: I don't know what possessed me to have Tanya hit Victoria with a car. That just sort of happened, and it felt right.  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Edward**

Awake, she was a spitfire that I wanted to kiss one minute and fight with the next. Sleeping, she was angelic. There were no sarcastic comments or threats of violence. Her face was soft and peaceful as I slowly ran my fingers through her hair.

"Jackass," she murmured.

I smiled. She was dreaming about me. I knew I should have been sneaking back to my bedroom, but I couldn't bring myself to leave her yet. I didn't know when I would get the opportunity to do this again, so I wanted to savor it. However, when I heard a crash from the kitchen, I knew it was time to go see what the little monsters were up to. I unlocked her door before changing my mind and going through the window to get back to my room. Bella would kill me if the boys caught me sneaking out of her room. I'm glad I had enough sense to put her on the first floor.

Quietly, I made my way down the hall. I liked spying on my kids. I never knew what I would catch them doing. "How come you have to have milk with cereal?" I heard Ethan ask. "Why not juice? It's a breakfast drink."

"Mom told me the cows would get mad and stop making it, but Pop said that Mom was full of one of those words I'm not s'posed to say." said Leo.

"I wonder if Dad will let us get a cow. Then we won't have to go to the store so much," Ethan replied thoughtfully.

"What are you boys doing up?" I asked, making my presence known.

Both boys turned to me with their bedheads. "Making breakfast," Ethan grinned. "Do you want milk or orange juice with your cocoa puffs?"

"Milk," I replied quickly. "Can I help with anything?"

"You can be the one to wake Mom up," said Leo, looking a little scared at the thought. "She tried to tickle me to death the last time I did it."

I laughed. "Alright, I'll save you this time."

"Thanks Edward," he grinned.

I mixed up some batter for waffles and showed them how to use the machine. Really all you had to do was press a button, so I figured they couldn't get into too much trouble. Of course, then they decided to see how big they could make them, so I had to step in. When we got it all finished, they helped me set it up on the patio table. "Why don't you guys go get your sister, and let me get Bella?"

Leo gave me a salute before chasing Ethan up the stairs. It was easy to forget that he wasn't my son. I wondered how Bella would react if she knew I was claiming him as one of my own in my mind.

She was still sleeping when I crept into her room. I eased myself down on the bed. "Isabella," I said softly.

"Go away," she grumbled.

"Can't," I chuckled. "The boys made us breakfast. Leo said I had to be the one to wake you up. Apparently you're scary in the mornings."

I'm pretty she grunted before sitting up with her eyes still closed. Her hair was wild, probably due to me playing with it so much, but she still managed to pull it off. "Do I need to be coherent for this breakfast?" she asked.

"Of course not," I replied, leaning forward to steal a quick kiss. "You don't even have to open your eyes." I pecked her cheek and her eyes popped open. I smiled, "Good morning, Bella."

"Did they catch you in here?" she asked.

"Nope," I replied. "I can be sneaky when the occasion calls for it. Now, may I escort you to breakfast? I'll even carry you if you want."

She shook her head. "None of that bridal style stuff."

"Piggyback it is," I said, standing up and turning around so she could climb on. I was pleasantly surprised when she did so without arguing.

"I hate that word," she told me, wrapping her arms loosely around my neck. "Piggyback. Is it calling one of us a pig?"

"It was originally known as a pick-a-back ride. I guess it evolved or something," I answered.

"How the hell did you know that?" she asked.

I laughed and made my way down the hall. "Emmett asked the same question once. We Googled it."

She groaned. "It can't be healthy to have the same thoughts as your brother." I couldn't wait to tell him she said that. I stepped out on the patio and helped her into a chair. "Thanks for the lift."

"Anytime," I smiled.

Leo and Ethan came out with a giggling Sophie soon after that. Ethan was holding her under the arms while Leo carried her feet. When I looked at them questioningly, Ethan shrugged. "She wanted us both to carry her."

"It's fun," Sophie chimed in.

"Your children are nuts," I told Bella.

"My children?" she replied.

I nodded. "My two weren't that crazy until they met you, so I'm not taking the blame for this."

We had fun eating breakfast together. Ethan and Leo told us all about their night. They had set Ethan's alarm clock to go off every hour, so they could switch beds. Somehow, they got a little mixed up, and Leo woke up on the floor instead. "I knew it felt a little hard," he remembered. Bella smiled, shaking her head. She seemed accustomed to this type of craziness.

After breakfast and a few cartoons, I suggested that we spend some time out by the pool. The kids ran off to get changed, but Bella stayed put. "Sorry, Cullen. I didn't bring a bathing suit."

"That's fine," I smiled. "Because I had Alice get you one just in case. It's in your room." I stood up. "See you out there, Swan."

It didn't take me long to change and the kids were waiting anxiously at the backdoor. "You can play until noon. Then you've got to eat, and we've got a football game to win."

"Will you throw me in?" Ethan asked as I helped Sophie put on her arm floaties.

"Did you put on sunblock?" I asked. He nodded, so I picked him up. "Ready?"

"Yeah," he laughed.

"Hold your breath!" I tossed him in, and he came up laughing moments later. I turned to Leo. "How good can you swim, Sport?"

"Really good. Mom taught me," he answered.

I should have known. "I guess I'll have to throw you in and see." He laughed as I picked him up. "Hold your breath!" I warned him too before dropping him in the water. He swam around like a little fish.

"Did you just throw my kid?" Bella asked, coming outside finally.

I took one look at her and picked up my phone to send a text to Alice. _Thanks_. "Do you want to go next?" I grinned.

"I'll take the slide," she answered.

"Can I come?" Sophie asked excitedly. She loved going down the slide but not alone.

"You didn't expect me to go by myself, did you?" Bella teased, taking her hand. She followed Sophie up the steps and let her sit between her legs. I couldn't hear what they were saying but Sophie grinned the whole way down. Bella gasped when she came out of the water. "You told me it wasn't cold."

Sophie smiled. "It's not!"

Bella caught me watching them then. "Hey, this was your idea. Get in here, Cullen!" I smiled and dove in, coming up right next to her. "Showoff."

The boys yelled as they zoomed down the slide together. I grabbed Sophie. "I guess it's my turn." After both Bella and I went down the slide at least once with each of the kids, I convinced her to go down it with me. She wouldn't sit in front of me, but I didn't mind having her legs wrapped around me. Eventually I got her in front, but with a warning that I better watch where I put my hands.

The kids continued to play while we got lunch ready. I was grilling hamburgers, so I could keep an eye on them while Bella insisted on setting the table. "Good grief, Cullen, how many different kinds of chips do you need?"

"I like variety," I informed her. There was no rule that said you could only like one type of chip. That would be ludicrous.

She put a few different bowls full on the table and fixed everyone a glass of kool-aid. "I need to run home before the game, and I'm afraid I have to steal Sophie. We have get ready to support our boys, so is it alright if Leo rides with you and Ethan?"

I nodded. "Of course it's alright. You didn't even have to ask. When it's something normal like football, I get to claim them."

So after eating, Bella and Sophie left us guys to get ready for the game ourselves. The boys thought they were tough stuff in their uniforms. They showed me some of the game faces they had been practicing before I made them get in the car.

Emmett was all pumped up as usual when we got there. He sent the boys onto the field to do a couple of easy drills with the other players. Jasper was standing beside him with a sleepy yet happy expression. Little Landon must have kept him awake. I decided to stand back and watch for a bit.

"Nice day for a game," said a deep voice from beside me.

I looked over to see an older man with slightly graying hair and a mustache. "Yes sir," I replied politely. He was probably one of the boys' grandfathers. I knew Carlisle was around here somewhere.

"You got a boy on the team?" he asked me.

"Yes sir. Those two," I said, pointing to Ethan and Leo.

Just then Leo looked up and a huge grin spread across his face. He came running across the field and threw his arms around the man's waist. "Pop!"

Oh shit. I immediately looked to see if he had a gun. Lucky for me, he didn't have one on him. He was looking at me now as Leo motioned for Ethan to come over. "Uh… Chief Swan, I'm Edward Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you."

He eyed me carefully before shaking my outstretched hand. I didn't know a man could make me so nervous. "Pop, this is my best friend Ethan." Thank you Leo.

"Good to meet you, kid," he replied.

"Dad?" We all turned to see Bella. She was wearing a tee shirt that Ethan's number on one sleeve and Leo's on the other and the words "Football Mom" sewn on the front. Sophie was standing beside her in a little cheerleading uniform.

"Hey Bells," he replied.

She smiled beautifully. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "Couldn't miss the first game of the season." She rushed forward to give him a hug. "I've missed you, Bells," he said quietly.

I suddenly felt like I was intruding on a personal moment, but Sophie broke it up. She tugged on Charlie's pant leg. "Hi Pop."

"Who do we have here?" he asked, smiling a little.

"Dad, this is Sophie Cullen," Bella answered.

He reached down and picked her up. "I take it this one belongs to you too?" he asked me.

"Yes sir, she's my youngest." I tried to stay calm. I can't believe I called Leo my son in front of Bella's father.

He gave me that hard calculating stare again before nodding. "Good looking kids you've got here, Edward."

I swear he could see the relief in my eyes. "Thank you, Chief Swan."

"Dad," said Bella, taking Sophie from him. "Are you really going to make him call you Chief?"

"For a little while," he answered.

"CHARLIE!" I think everyone jumped as Nessie came barreling over. She practically jumped on the man. "Bella didn't tell me you were coming!"

"I didn't know," said Bella. "How'd you get out of jail?"

Nessie rolled her eyes. "Jake let me go. He said he wasn't going to miss the opening game because of me. Can you believe that guy?"

"Renesmee Carlie Dwyer, what were you doing in jail?" Charlie asked.

"I swear I'm innocent. Officer Goodbody has it out for me," she replied. I could tell he didn't believe her for a second, but she turned to the boys before he could say so. "You guys want to see my new tattoo? I got it this morning for the game." She pulled back the bandage to show them the wolf near her hip. Our team mascot was a wolf, but I wondered if she knew that Jake had a similar tattoo on his back.

"We better go sit down," said Bella. "Good luck out there boys, coach." She smiled at me before leading her father and sister over to the bleachers.

I went over to join my brothers. "You're lookin' kinda pale there, bro," Emmett noticed.

"A man just asked if I had a boy on the team. I told him I had two, Ethan and Leo. Turns out, the man is Bella's father, Chief of Police Charlie Swan," I explained.

Jasper tried to look sympathetic while Emmett erupted with booming laughter. Luckily it was time for the game to start or I would've popped him.

The game was a success. With Leo blocking for him, Ethan was able to score two touchdowns. Seeing as how we won by two touchdowns, they were pretty proud of themselves. It also helped that they had their own little cheering section that included both their families. Of course, since we had just won the first game of the season, all of the boys and their families were invited to my parents' place for a little after party.

Ethan volunteered to show Charlie how to get there, so he and Leo rode with him. That gave me time to pull myself together before I had to face him again. Bella and I got there at the same time, so I pulled her aside. "What are the chances of your dad shooting me?"

She thought about it. "I wouldn't worry too much. He seemed to be in a good mood today, so you've probably got a twenty percent chance of taking a bullet." She put her hand on my arm. "Don't worry though. He wouldn't kill you. It would hurt like hell, but you'd recover."

"Thanks Bella," I replied sarcastically before getting Sophie out of her car seat. She thanked me before running inside to find her Aunts Rosalie and Alice. I looked around quickly to make sure there was no sign of the Chief before pulling Bella to me and stealing a kiss.

"Did you really just look for my father?" she asked incredulously.

"I can't tell you how much I don't want to get shot," I replied.

She bit her bottom lip. "Then I guess you don't want me to tell him that we slept together last night."

"You wouldn't," I dared.

"I told you to sleep in your own room," she sang before turning to run inside. I chased after her, but she managed to lose me in the crowd.

I tried to play it cool. I walked around, greeting the other parents, telling them how good their kids were doing on the team. I caught a glimpse of Bella. She was sitting next to her father at a table with my parents. They seemed to be getting along, so I felt like there was no reason for me to interrupt.

Finally as the night died down, I found a chair off to the side away from the crowd. "You look like you're hiding from somebody." And Charlie freaking Swan just happened to sit down next to me. "You can relax, son, I don't have my gun with me. I wanted to come out here and thank you."

That surprised me. "For what, sir?"

He took a sip from a soda can and sighed. "I didn't like the idea of Bells and Leo being out here alone, but she's so stubborn. I know she can take care of herself, but I felt a lot better when Leo told me about you and your family. I like knowing she has somebody close by if she needs them."

"We'd be there in a heartbeat," I promised.

He nodded, staring off into the distance. "Edward, I've never been one to get into my daughter's business unless she asked for me to, but…" he paused and looked me dead in the eye. "Don't hurt her. You seem like a good man. I'd hate to have to shoot you."

"I won't, sir," I replied seriously.

"And Edward," he stood up to walk away, "you can call me Charlie."


	12. Chapter 12

**Bella**

Charlie took the kids. He claimed it was his duty as a grandfather to buy the children something to bug their parents with before he left for Forks. He reasoned that it was only fair to claim Ethan and Sophie as his grandchildren if Edward was going to call Leo his son. It was an odd situation we had gotten into, and it all started because I was crazy enough to kidnap someone's kids. Who knew?

Shredder and I were walking around the neighborhood when Jake jogged over to catch me. "Bells, can I talk to you?"

I nodded. "Sure. What's up?"

"It's about that delinquent living in your house," he explained.

I knew this was going to be an interesting conversation, so I invited him inside for a drink. "What did she do now?" I asked, handing him a glass of iced tea.

"Bella, I need you to get her to stay away from me." He was so serious it was scary. "I can't take it anymore, and if she keeps getting me riled up, I can't be held responsible for my actions." He looked so stressed. "You're my favorite neighbor. I don't want to end up doing something that will make you hate me, but she just…" He trailed off.

"Jacob, what are you talking about?" I was missing something.

He was quiet for a moment before deciding to lay it all out there. "I'm going to fuck the shit out of her."

That was the precise moment when my jaw hit the table. "Come again?"

"I'm sorry for being so blunt," he rambled. "It's just… every time I get her in those cuffs, I want to bend her over the hood of my car and-"

"I got it!" I said, frantic to stop him.

He let out a quick breath. "Sorry."

"What exactly do you want me to do, Jake?" I was trying to take this seriously. The poor guy was about to have a breakdown, but something about it was so damn funny to me.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know. I've never had this kind of problem before."

That was understandable, I guess. "Um…" I had to come up with something. "Look, she's my sister. No matter how much I try to deny it, there are DNA tests that prove it, but you're one of my best friends. Quite honestly, I'm more worried about you than I am her." I grabbed his broad shoulders and gave him a little shake. "Pull yourself together, man. If Nessie discovers your weakness, she's gonna torture you to no end."

"Alright," he nodded and stood up. "I better get to work. I'll be seeing you." He gave me a quick hug before leaving.

The poor guy didn't stand a chance. However, I didn't think it was a bad thing. Nessie had a tendency to get wild and out of control. Jake would be the perfect person to balance her out, to keep her crazy, but out of rehab. I wondered how long he was going to hold out.

Having nothing else to do, I decided to go to the gym. I needed to stay in shape to keep up with three kids, and it wouldn't kill me to develop some more strength in my arms. I figured I lift kids everyday; how bad could a few weights be?

Kill. Me. Now.

I hadn't been at the gym an hour and my poor arms were already jelly. It wasn't the weight that bothered me; it was the reps. Lifting the cute little hand weights once was no problem. Lifting them repeatedly… problem.

However, I found myself free of the offending weight when some douche bag happened to grab my ass as he walked by. The weight slipped out of my grasp and pegged said douche bag in the back. Problem solved.

I expected to be kicked out of the gym after that little display. The man stormed towards the front desk, clearly planning to tattle on me, so I was surprised at what happened next. "Well if it isn't Isabella kiss my ass Swan!"

Only one person ever called me that. "Felix!" I quickly turned around to find him standing there in all his muscular glory. "What the hell are you doing here?" I asked as I ran over to hug him.

He picked me up and practically squeezed the life out of me. "I work here. I'm a personal trainer." He set me down and wrapped his large hand around my arm. "Looks like you could use my help."

I swatted his hand away as best I could. "Shut up. I don't have time to work out. I've got kids at home."

"Kids?" he questioned. "Last I heard, you only had the super cool Leonardo."

"I've acquired two more," I explained. "I kidnapped them one day at the grocery store from their father's psychotic now ex-girlfriend, and I've been stuck with the whole family ever since. They're really awesome kids though, so I don't mind."

"You kidnapped a man's kids, and he still lets you near them?" Felix laughed.

I put my hands on my hips. "I'll have you know that their father and I have a very nice and twisted relationship."

"I thought you didn't do relationships," he remembered. It was something I had said several times in the past.

"Trust me. It's not a normal one. My relationship status is listed as undefined." I wasn't technically in a relationship, but I didn't feel single either. "What about you? Is there a lucky lady?"

"Nope," he replied. "You know I'm too much man for one woman."

I faked a sneeze. "Oh I'm sorry. I'm allergic to bullshit."

He pushed my arm. "You're not funny, B," he smiled.

"How's everyone else?" I asked. I hadn't seen his family or our old high school crew in years.

Felix sat down on a bench and hit the spot next to him, signaling me to join him. "My parents are rediscovering themselves in the Bahamas. Demetri is still too cool to hang out with us. Aro, Caius, and Marcus opened an Italian restaurant. I swear they think they're in the mob or something, and I don't know what James is up to."

We continued to chat and catch up on things. He made me do some more reps, so he could at least pretend to be working. When I got ready to leave, we made plans to meet for dinner later. I took a quick shower and headed home.

Charlie's car was parked out front and there was all sorts of noises coming from inside. I walked in to find Leo banging on some miniature drums, Ethan with a little guitar, and Sophie with a small keyboard. "Dad!" I shouted.

He came around the corner. "Hey Bells."

"I'm going to kill you," I said simply.

The doorbell rang. "Pizza's here," said Charlie, quickly walking past me to get to the door. Luckily, the mention of pizza caused the so-called music to cease.

I put the wannabe rockstars in front of the TV, hoping to keep them distracted with a movie while Dad joined me in the kitchen. "When do you have to leave?"

"Soon," he replied. "I can manage another visit in September, around the thirteenth, if you want."

"Sounds perfect," I smiled.

We ate quietly, though an occasional giggle from the living room would break the silence. "Well, I better get on the road. I've got people to arrest and fish to catch." He hugged all the kids before I walked him to the door. "Edward seems like an alright guy. Keep him around, will you?"

"If he hasn't run off yet, I don't think he's going to," I replied. "Goodbye Dad." I kissed him on the cheek.

"Bye Bells." He got in the car and drove away.

When I got back inside, I saw that I had a text from Felix.

_Dinner at 5? I'm starving B!_

I shook my head and called Nessie.

"_Cullen Construction, this is Vanessa. How can I help you?"_

"Can you be here by five to watch the kids?" I asked.

"_Why? Where are you going?" _

Nosey. "I'm having dinner with an old friend from high school. You remember Felix." I heard her groan.

"_The asshole that called me Loch Ness?" _

"Yep," I smiled. "Please Nessie. I haven't spent time with him in years. You'll love hanging out with the kids. Charlie bought them enough instruments to start a band."

"_Fine. I'll see you at five." _

"Thanks Nessie." I hung up and went to get ready.

* * *

**Edward**

"Hey Boss, I need to head out early. Bella needs me to watch the kids," said Nessie, poking her head into my office.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, immediately concerned.

She shook her head. "No, she has a hot date, so she needs me there at five."

A date. Bella had a date? Hell no. "Um… sure." I tried to compose myself. "I might be a little late getting there. Let me give you some money for takeout or something."

"I've got it," she replied. "Not doing drugs really improved the status of my bank account. See you tonight, Boss." She smiled and shut the door.

Bella had a date. _My _Bella. That wasn't going to work. I picked up the phone.

"_Carlisle Cullen."_

"Dad, can I borrow your car?" I was quickly formulating a plan in my mind.

"_Sure, son." _

I loved that man. He was always willing to help out. "Thanks. I'm on my way." I let Emmett and Jasper know I was leaving before rushing over to the hospital.

"Do I want to know what this is about?" Carlisle asked as we exchanged keys.

"Do you want to risk the wrath of Bella?" I didn't want to bring him down with me.

"I'll talk to you later, son," he replied with a smile. Good choice.

I drove the familiar route to Bella's house and parked a safe distance away. Then I waited. Five minutes 'til, an unfamiliar truck pulled into the driveway. I watched as the guy stepped out and jogged to the front door. He was big, but if I could hold my own against Emmett, I wouldn't have any trouble with this meathead.

Bella opened the door, and he yanked her to him. I saw red. Who the hell did he think he was putting _his _paws on _my _Bella? My grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didn't even open her door for her. What an ass. I followed inconspicuously behind them as they drove out of the neighborhood. They were probably too busy laughing and carrying on to notice me behind them anyway.

They stopped at an hibachi grill. At least they would be at a table with others and not a romantic dinner for two. I circled the block, giving them time to get inside before I came back and parked.

I hadn't really thought this part out. I couldn't charge in there.

_Could I? _

No.

So I did what any normal stalker would do, I watched them through the window. If he made one wrong move, I was prepared to drop his ass on the grill.

It was getting to be too much. Apparently the guy was funny because every time his lips moved, Bella would laugh. I needed to do something soon or I was going to go insane. She got up to go the ladies' room. The ladies' room was near an exit.

I drove the car around, getting it close to that door. Then I quickly went inside and waited. As soon as Bella stepped out of the bathroom, I grabbed her. Her scream was muffled against my hand as I carried her out of the restaurant. Her feet gave me a few good kicks to my shins, but I would worry about that later. I forced her into the car and peeled off.

Bella did not sound happy as she struggled to right herself. "Listen you psychotic bas- _Edward?" _I winced. I was afraid to look at her. "What the hell are you doing?"

"For someone who's always kidnapping people, you should be able to recognize the gesture," I replied.

"Kidnapping?" she shrieked. It was never a good thing when a woman shrieked. "Why the hell are you kidnapping me?"

"Why the hell were you on a date?" I shouted back.

"What?" she growled.

I missed the shrieking. "You heard me." Shut up Edward. "You're not allowed to date."

"Allowed?" Shit. "And who the hell is going to stop me?"

And because I'm an idiot, I answered, "Me. Obviously."

"Pull. The. Damn. Car. Over." Double shit.

"I can't do that," I replied.

"Why?" she growled again.

Honesty is the best policy. "I'm a little afraid of you at the moment."

"PULL THE CAR OVER!"

I pulled over. Bella angrily pushed open the door and got out. What kind of kidnapper would I be if I let her walk home? I got out and went after her. "Bella, get in the car. You're being unreasonable."

Again, wrong thing to say.

She whipped around. "_I'm_ being unreasonable? You son of a-" Her cell phone rang, saving me from curse. "Hello?" Boy, her voice was tense. "No, I didn't fall in, dickhead. I was kidnapped." She glared at me through the whole conversation. "Kiss my ass." She hung up.

"Bella," I pleaded.

She was walking towards me slowly. Bella the Beast seemed to be a pretty accurate nickname at the moment. "Explain."

I felt a chill. "Bella, I'm sorry." She kept coming. "When I saw you with that guy, I… I didn't want you to go out with him." Her eyes narrowed. "I don't know what happened. I-" Nothing seemed to be working. "Dammit Bella, I was jealous. I couldn't stand the thought of you with any guy other than me. You're my Bella… or at least, I thought you were," I finished sadly.

"Are you finished?" she asked, her expression giving nothing away. I nodded. She grabbed both sides of my face and proceeded to kiss the hell out of me. It took me three whole seconds to get over the shock before I grabbed her ass and picked her up. She wrapped those perfect legs around me, and I turned us around, pressing her back against the hood of the car. "You're such a… jackass." she got out between kisses. One of my hands made its way to her chest, and she moaned loudly into my mouth. Her breasts were the perfect size; like they were made for my hands.

A damn car horn brought us to our senses. "Guess you didn't need that ride, huh B?" The meathead from the restaurant. I was going to kill that guy. He grinned at me and gave a nod for a greeting. "You must be Edward." How did he know?

Bella slid off the hood and adjusted her shirt. "Felix, you ass. Go home." He laughed as she got back into Carlisle's car.

Felix? "She's a handful. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into, partner. I'm sure I'll see you around." He waved and drove off. What the hell?

I got in the car and got us back on the road, not having a clue what to say.

"I wasn't on a date," said Bella. "Felix recently moved here. We decided to get together for dinner to catch up since we hadn't seen each other in years. I would have gladly told you that had you bothered to ask instead of going all caveman on me."

Well, I felt like an ass. "I'm sorry. When Nessie told me you had a date, I lost it."

"Nessie," she growled. The sound wasn't so bad when it was aimed at someone else. "She knew it wasn't a date. That little-" Her eyes got a mischievous twinkle as she started to dial a number on her cell. "Hello, Jessica?" No way. "This is Bella. I hate to bother you, but could you do me a huge favor?" I bit my lip to keep from laughing. "Nessie is at home alone with my son and his friends, and I know she hates being by herself with them. Could you maybe go over and wait with her until I get there?" She smiled, "Thank you so much." Then she hung up and turned to me. "Wanna go get some ice cream?"

The night turned out much better than I had hoped. Bella hadn't been on a date, and I survived my first kidnapping with my balls intact. When we finally pulled up to her house, Nessie had never been more happy yet irritated to see us, and Ethan and Sophie were ready to tell me all about their morning with Charlie "Pop" Swan.

After kissing Bella goodnight, I decided to get one important thing out in the open. "So, are you?" She looked at me, confused. "My Bella?"

I couldn't help grinning like an idiot when she said, "Oh, what the hell."

* * *

**AN: That's Bella's way of saying yes.  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**Edward**

The constant ringing of the doorbell got me out of bed. I tried not to bump into anything as I went to see what cruel person was waking me up so damn early. When I opened the door, I had to blink a few times to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me.

"It's about time," said Alice. She walked right past me into the house and up the stairs.

"Hi Edward!" I looked down and there was Leo. Maybe I was still asleep after all because why would he be with Alice?

"Hey Sport," I replied groggily.

"She woke me up too," he said sympathetically.

I grabbed his shoulder and guided him inside. "You want something to eat or drink?" I asked.

"No thank you," he answered.

I dropped down on the couch and he sat down beside me. If I had been more awake, I probably would have wondered where Alice had gotten off to. I noticed that Leo was yawning, so I pulled him over where he could lean on my arm. We both dozed off.

I'm not sure how long we had been there when Alice returned. "Get up sleepyheads," she said cheerfully.

Both Leo and I groaned, and I saw that Ethan and Sophie were dressed and by her side. "Is there any particular reason you're going around waking up the poor little children?"

"They're coming with me to meet Rosalie with Landon and Nate. Grandparents Day is coming up, so we're having a portrait made of all the grandchildren for Esme and Carlisle," she explained. "We would have forced Bella to come along, but I figured since she would be home alone all day, maybe you would like to keep her company." She winked at me. "Come on, kiddies. Have a good day, Edward!"

Bella was home alone.

I needed to get over there. I grabbed my keys and started for the door. Then I realized… I needed to get dressed. Huffing at my own stupidity, I went back to my room to get ready.

When I finally made it to Bella's house, I didn't bother knocking. Knowing her, she'd probably just get irritated that I made her get out of bed to come open the door. I walked quietly through the house to her bedroom where I found her sprawled out across the bed. The plush donkey was lying near one of her arms. I quickly kicked off my shoes and climbed in next to her, pulling her carefully into my arms. I buried my face in her hair and breathed in the scent of strawberries.

"If that's Jessica, I'm moving," she mumbled.

I laughed quietly. "Do I feel like Jessica to you?"

Bella turned over in my arms, her eyes cracked open. "Thank God," she breathed before burying her face in my chest. "Now shut up. I'm going back to sleep."

"Sweet dreams, my Bella." I kissed her hair and held her close.

For almost an hour, I lay there holding her. She must have been content because there wasn't a single profanity muttered in her sleep. When she finally did wake up, the first words from her mouth were, "Alice is evil."

I gave her a little squeeze. "I can't believe you let her in."

"I didn't," she replied. "From now on, I'll have to start locking my windows." She looked up at me with a cute little pout. "She pounced on me."

"That means she likes you," I smiled. "If you want, I'll speak with Jasper about getting her pregnant again to protect you from any near future pounce attacks."

"That sounds good," she agreed before sitting up. "What are you up to today?" she asked while stretching.

"I was planning to annoy you all day. Is that going to be a problem?" It didn't even occur to me that she might have plans.

Bella shook her head. "I've got a little trouble to get into, but you're welcome to join me." She hopped off the bed and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

"Will this trouble get us arrested?" I asked.

"Not if we don't get caught," she replied. She came out of the bathroom and went into her closet. "We won't do anything worthy of jail time," she promised.

That made me feel better. "What did you have in mind?"

She appeared fully dressed with a small slip of paper in her hands. "Behold!" She held it out to me, "The Shit List." I quickly scanned it to make sure my name was not on there. Most of the names were already scratched out, but there were two that I recognized that were not; Nessie and Felix.

"Why is Felix on your shit list? I thought he was your best friend," I said, not that I minded of course. It made me happy that he was on there, and I wasn't.

"When I found out I was pregnant with Leo, he sent in a tape to the Maury show for one of those 'Help Me Find My Baby Daddy' episodes," she explained. "Don't get me wrong; I like a good prank. I'm just pissed that he moved off to college before I could get him back. I tend to hold a grudge." She grabbed a duffel bag and draped it over her shoulder. "Ready?"

I didn't know what I was getting myself into. "Sure."

A proper day of revenge couldn't begin without a healthy breakfast, so we started out at the diner. "Even though your evil sister-in-law attacked me this morning, I think it was very sweet of her to include Leo," Bella admitted. "He never complains, but I know he sometimes wishes he had a bigger family. Before moving here, he only had me, Charlie, and sometimes Nessie. Renee and Phil were on the road a lot, so he only got to see them on holidays."

"What would you do if his biological father ever came into the picture?" I asked. It was something that had been bothering me.

"I did everything I could to find him. Everybody in the county knew about my fun times at the masquerade. When he didn't come forward, Charlie and I were able to get a lawyer and make sure that I had full custody. I didn't want to worry about him showing up years later ready to play daddy. Leo deserves better than that." She took a sip of her coffee. "To answer your question, if he ever shows up, I'll kick his ass."

I smiled and paid the bill. "Ready to scratch another name off your shit list?"

On the way to gym, she explained her plans to me. "The way to get Felix is with something small that he won't notice right away. Anything big and extravagant he can somehow turn around and use it to his advantage." There had obviously been a lot of thought put into this. "He's a very laid back guy. The only thing he's uptight about is his truck. He checks on it almost every fifteen minutes. That thing is like the key to his manliness or something. He prides himself on being the ultimate man's man, so that's where you have to hit."

"I'm feeling a little nervous for the guy," I admitted.

"That's too bad because I need you to go inside and keep him distracted for at least twenty minutes. Maybe apologize for the misunderstanding last night," she suggested.

I didn't ask what she was going to do. I figured the less I knew the better. I walked into the gym and searched for the target. The girl at the front desk pointed out his office, so I strolled on over and knocked on the door.

"It's open!" he called from inside. I turned the knob and stepped in. "Hey! B's boy toy, come on in. You're not angry about last night, are you? I may be big, but I make love, not war," he grinned.

"Actually, I came to apologize for last night. I thought you were trying to steal my woman, so I got a little carried away." I held out my hand. "I'm Edward by the way."

He stood up and shook my hand. "Good to officially meet ya. Now have a seat, I'll tell you all sorts of stuff about B."

Keeping him distracted for twenty minutes was no trouble at all. He happily told story after story about his glory days with Bella and the guys in high school. Apparently she stayed at his house as much as she did her own. "There was one time us guys set up a spy camera in the shower. She was a hot chick, you know, and we were high school perverts, so it seemed like a prime opportunity." It was in the past. There was no reason for me to lunge across the desk, so I held onto the chair. "I swear somebody tipped her off because she managed to move the camera to my parents' bathroom instead. Aro still can't look my dad in the eye." I laughed along with him then.

My cell phone vibrated against my leg. I guess that was my cue. "I better let you get back to work. I'm going to meet Bella for lunch. It was nice talking to you."

"You too, dude. Tell B I said hello," he replied.

Bella was waiting in the car when I got there. I stole a glance at the truck. Nothing looked different. "What did you do?" I asked curiously.

"I told you it had to be small," she smiled. "His macho mobile now has a license plate that says Lady Felix. It will take him weeks to notice it. Plus, I bought one of those car horn kits. He likes to blow the horn at hot women, so I changed it to scream 'fat ass'. I'm pretty sure he'll notice that one sooner."

I laughed, picturing the look on his face when his attempt to pick up chicks backfired on him. "Will he know you did it?"

"Of course he will," said Bella as if it were no big deal. "He'll get me back for it too. It's a vicious cycle we've got going." She didn't seem bothered by it though.

"Are we done with vengeance for the day?" I asked.

She pulled out her list and scratched through Felix's name. "Nope. I still owe little Nessie for spilling the beans on Mistress Marie. I can get that done before lunch, and then we can do whatever you want."

"Okay," I smiled, driving us back to her house. She told me to pull the car into the garage so none of the neighbors would see it and decide to come over and snoop for gossip while we were trying to work.

Bella grabbed a few more supplies before heading to her sister's room. "Nessie seems like a badass, but she's terrified of two things: mice and closets."

"Closets?" Who the hell was afraid of closets?

"She's very paranoid. Her closet door has to be open at all times," said Bella. "The girl has seen one too many scary movies. Anyway, I found this little gadget online." She held up the small mouse. "It's got a motion sensor on it, so when she walks into the room, it will shoot out from under the bed."

She was trying to put the batteries in when I heard the front door open. I panicked. "Shit! Someone's coming. What do we do?"

Bella was looking around frantically. "Quick!" She grabbed my arm. "Let's get in the closet!" She grabbed all the stuff and pulled me inside, shutting the door behind us. I knew if anyone came into the room they would be able to hear our breathing. "What the hell is she doing home?" Bella whispered.

"Lunch break?" I suggested quietly, watching through the cracks of the louvered door.

Thanks to the iPod blasting in her ears, Nessie couldn't hear a word we said. She strolled over to the window and picked up her binoculars before peeking through the blinds. "Hello, Officer Goodbody." She ogled Jake for a few minutes before going over to her dresser. She looked in the mirror to reapply her eyeliner, but her eyes locked on the closed closet door and she froze.

"Shit," Bella whispered. She worked desperately to get the batteries into the mouse as Nessie cautiously approached the door. "Got it!" She slipped it under the bottom and watched it go. When the little blur zipped across the room, Nessie screamed like I had never heard before and nearly took down the bedroom door trying to get out of the room. "Get the evidence!" Bella grabbed the box while I caught the mouse. She shut the closet door again, and we both raced out of the room to hide elsewhere.

We ended up in the guest room across the hall. "Life never gets boring with you, does it?" I asked.

She was panting. "Life would have been a lot shorter if Nessie opened that door. I think she carries a blade."

"Damn it, Jacob! Stop being an asshole. I'm telling you something is in my closet." We could hear them coming down the hall. It seemed Nessie had gone for help.

"Aren't you a little old to be afraid of the boogey man?" Jacob replied grouchily.

Nessie huffed. "It's not the boogey man," she growled. "Get your gun out! What kind of cop are you?"

"Trust me. It's much safer for you, if I don't take my gun out," he snapped.

"Are you threatening me?" she asked incredulously.

I noticed Bella was biting her lip to keep from laughing. Jake and Nessie continued to bicker as they made their way into her room. I could hear him taunting her when the closet came up empty. That led to even more arguing. Then there was a loud crash and the fussing stopped.

"Think they killed each other?" I whispered.

"Worse," Bella replied cryptically. She grabbed my hand and we slipped out of the room.

Unfortunately, the door to Nessie's room was still open. How those two got undressed so quickly is beyond me. Jake's hands were on her ass, and her legs were wrapped tightly around him. They were attached at the lips as they fell on the bed.

"Looks like he found her tattoo," I said quietly into Bella's ear.

By the time we were halfway down the hall, the moaning and groaning had started. "Oh God," Bella cringed. "I can not listen to my sister have sex." Nessie squealed in the background. "We have to get out of here." I couldn't agree more.

We made it out the front door where we saw Tanya in her front yard. "Sounds like someone's having a good time," she shouted.

Bella opened the garage door and we jumped in the car and left. "So," I tried to think of something to say. "You hungry?" She laughed and I pulled into a drive-thru to get us something quick. Since I got to choose what we did now, I wanted to show her another one of my favorite places.

"Where are we?" she asked as I drove us out of town.

"This is the lake where us Cullen men always go camping," I explained once we got there. I held her hand to guide her down the trails. "Ethan wants to come for his birthday, so I hope you'll let Leo join us. I have to warn you though; you'll probably get sucked into the Cullen women sleepover."

She laughed, "Sounds terrifying." Then she shook her head to show that she was teasing. "I like your family. I'd be happy to go."

We spent the rest of the day there, walking the trails and enjoying each other's company. When the sun started to go down, Bella thought we should head back, but I had other ideas. "Let's go swimming."

"We didn't bring bathing suits, genius," she replied.

"Who needs 'em?" I replied, taking off my shirt and dropping it on the ground. "Don't tell me you've never been skinny dipping with a boyfriend before?"

She scoffed, "What boyfriend? Felix and I were only friends with benefits. I didn't do relationships back then."

That surprised me. "So what changed your mind?" I asked.

"You did," she replied. I think I did a little dance inside. "Now turn around. You're not seeing me naked."

"But that's the whole point," I pouted.

"Sorry," she smiled, forcing me to turn around. "No peeking."

Always the gentleman, I waited until she said it was okay for me to turn around before I got rid of the rest of my clothes and jumped in the water. The damn woman was deep enough in that I could only see the tops of her shoulders.

"I will see you naked eventually," I promised.

"Maybe," she replied before going under the water.

I smiled and swam after her. We stayed in the water for awhile until I noticed her lower lip trembling. I took that opportunity to wrap my arms around her. She said I couldn't look, she never said anything about touching. I was a gentleman though and kept my hands above the waist. I wasn't an idiot. If I pissed her off now, I wouldn't have a shot at later. "I think it's time to get you warmed up now. Then we can go find our children."

"I like that idea," said Bella. I somehow managed to not to peek as she got dressed. When I was fully clothed too, we headed back to the car. "Edward, it's not that I don't want to see you naked. I would just rather it not be on the same day that we saw Jake and Nessie."

We stopped by her house long enough to dry our hair and make it look as though we hadn't been skinny dipping. Luckily Nessie and Jake were nowhere to be seen. Then we went to Emmett's house where the rest of my family seemed to have gathered. As soon as we walked in, everyone was staring at us. The adults looked devious and excited. The children looked guilty. Shit.

"Is there anything you would like to tell us?" Esme asked sweetly. I wasn't buying it.

"Don't say anything," I muttered to Bella. "It's a trap."

Emmett cut in, "Yeah, play on any tables lately?" Jasper snorted and the others started to giggle.

Bella stared down our three children with her hands on her hips. They kept their eyes glues to the ground at first, but Sophie finally cracked, "They had cookies!"

Carlisle rushed to their defense, "Now, now Bella, don't be upset. We know how to be discreet in this family. However, I am curious about the interesting smudges on the hood of my car."

When they all erupted in laughter, I took out a piece of paper and led Bella into the kitchen. "I think it's time I begin my own shit list."


	14. Chapter 14

**Bella**

"Aunt Nessie, why are you walking funny?" Leonardo asked as Nessie practically limped into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

"I rode a horse," she grunted.

I nearly choked on my breakfast, but I managed to compose myself. "Must have been some horse," I replied quietly.

"What did you say?" Nessie asked, eyeing me carefully.

"Nothing," I smiled. "Come on guys. We've got to go buy you some school supplies." Both Ethan and Leo groaned. "Don't give me that. At least Rosalie made sure you would be in the same class." Having connections with the school principal came in handy.

Ethan took his plate to the sink. "I hope we never have to visit her office. She can be scary." I could imagine.

"What about you, Miss Sophie?" I asked, wiping the syrup off her face. "Are you ready for preschool?"

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Can I stay home with you?"

I smiled and rubbed our noses together. "Why don't you try it out for a few days? You'll make lots of friends."

"What if I don't?" she asked.

"Then I'll kidnap you," I promised. That seemed to appease her, so she joined the boys and headed for the garage.

Before I was out of the house, Nessie shouted, "Hey! Pick up some mouse traps, will you?" I laughed quietly as I hurried to the truck.

I don't think any of us were thrilled about shopping for school supplies. Leo was walking on one side of me, Ethan on the other, and Sophie was sitting in the shopping cart. I was glaring at the list in my hand. "Why the hello kitty do you need four boxes of tissue each?" I was getting better at choosing my words in their company.

"The sniffles?" Sophie suggested.

I shrugged and threw the tissues in the cart. Edward was probably going to fuss that I was buying all of their stuff, but I planned to send Leo with him and Ethan to pick out school clothes in order to make up for it.

Leo took his time picking out the perfect backpack. "This is making me depressed." I rolled my eyes. What kid talks like that? "Maybe we should get some pizza."

"The sooner you pick a bag, the sooner we can go," I agreed. He quickly grabbed a green one and dropped it the cart. Ethan had the same one in blue.

Just as I finished loading the truck, I heard a vehicle pulling into a space behind me. "Fat Ass!"

"Get in the truck!" I shoved the cart aside and quickly helped Sophie into the backseat with the boys.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" Felix shouted.

"Should he owe us money?" Ethan asked.

I put on my best innocent smile and turned around. "Felix! What a pleasant surprise."

He glared at me in return. "Last night I was cruising the streets, looking for the next lucky lady to get a piece of this when I saw this gorgeous brunette with curves in all the right places. I decided to get her attention, so I blew the horn." He held my face gently in his hands. "Do you know what happened next?"

"You all lived happily ever after?" I asked.

His hands weren't so gentle anymore, but he wasn't hurting me. "Gorgeous brunette threw a stiletto at my man mobile. Then she pulled out her red lipstick and wrote 'douche bag' on my hood! I was in complete shock. Luckily the guy behind me snapped me out of it. He blew his own horn and shouted for Lady Felix to get out the way! Why the hell is everybody calling me Lady Felix?"

"You're smashing my face," I said the best I could with the way he had my lips all puckered. I'm sure it looked funny as hell.

"I'm so going to get you little B," he replied, fighting a smile. He was probably plotting in his mind already.

"Mom?" Leo peeked his head out the door. "Do you need me to kick him?"

Felix let go of me. "No way! This can't be the squirt. You were in diapers the last time I saw you."

"Leo, this is my friend Felix. Felix, this is Leo." I opened the door fully, so he could see everyone. "And this is Ethan and Sophie." Sophie waved, but Ethan didn't look happy.

"Nice to meet ya," Felix smiled before turning back to me. "I've got to get moving. I'm on my lunch break. Watch your back, B." He kissed me loudly on the cheek, waved to the kids, and ran off.

I shook my head and got in the truck. He was such a goober.

At the pizza parlor, I gave the kids some change to play a few games. Leo was helping Sophie with one when Ethan came back. He sat down beside me, "Bella? Do you like Mr. Felix?"

"Sometimes," I smiled, but then his face fell a little, so I stopped. "Ethan, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," he whispered, lowering his head.

I took his chin in my hand, lifting his face a little. "Tell me what's going on, kiddo. I don't like seeing you sad." He hesitated a little. "Please."

"I thought you liked my dad," he finally admitted.

Oh. "Ethan, Felix is my friend, like how you and Leo are friends. Your dad is…" Shit. I was going to have to say it out loud. "Your dad is my boyfriend." He smiled then. "I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't tell anyone I said that." Edward was already a smug jackass as it was.

"Can I tell Leo?" he asked.

"Just Leo," I replied. "Sophie cracks for cookies."

After lunch, I had to get home to get Leo and I packed. He was going with the Cullen men on a camping trip while I went with Sophie to a sleepover with the women. Growing up with mostly guys, I had never been to this kind of thing before. I figured we would end up eating junk food and watching chick flicks. I had no idea.

Everything started out normally enough. We had a nice dinner together. Esme had it catered, so none of us would have to cook. Then we moved to the living room which was transformed into a massage parlor. So while Sophie and Nate were having fun in the toy room and Landon was gurgling happily in his bassinet, I was lying face first on a table while a large man with hands from heaven worked the knots out of my back.

Alice moaned from the table beside me. "This feels _so_ good." I heard the other women make sounds of agreement. "What about you Bella? Is he helping out with the tension?"

"Please," Rosalie snorted. "Only Edward can help with that."

"I have no idea what you guys are talking about," I smiled.

"Sexual tension, honey," said Esme. "I'm surprised the two of you have lasted this long. I was all over Carlisle the night after we met."

There was no way this conversation could be good for me.

"It must be a Cullen thing." said Alice. "I was on Jasper the day I met him."

"Don't listen to them, Bella," Rosalie added. "I made Emmett suffer. All of them are used to getting what they want. You should make Edward work for it."

"I'm not trying to make him work for anything, I…" I couldn't believe I was having this conversation with Edward's mother in the room. "I haven't had sex since the night Leo was conceived. It's not something I can take lightly anymore. I'm waiting for that 'aha' moment with a man, where I discover that no matter what happens everything will be okay because we have each other."

I think Esme sighed. "I'll be glad when you figure it out because you two are perfect for each other."

Rosalie was stuck on something else. "That's like eight years. Forget what I said. Jump him now." I had to join in as Alice laughed.

Once our massages were over, we ended up on the couch with drinks. "I wonder what the guys are up to right now." I was sure Leo was having a good time doing whatever.

"Let's see. It's dark out, so they're probably giving the kids a hard time. Anytime little ones are there they can't seem to help themselves," said Alice.

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a sip of my fruity drink.

"They scare them every year. Emmett lives for stuff like that," Rosalie explained.

I gave it some thought. "What if this year he gets a taste of his own medicine?"

Esme immediately picked up the phone. "I'll call Kate. She'll watch the babies." I called for some help of my own.

Nessie arrived moments later dressed in all black. "I've got the fire extinguisher."

"Let's go." We all crammed into my truck and headed for the lake, leaving the kids with a friend of Esme's who was happy to help. "We need to make sure Leo and Ethan know it's us. I don't want them to be scared," said Esme. We all agreed. We were going for the big boys, not the little ones.

I parked the truck far enough away that they wouldn't be able to hear it. We crept quietly near the trails, but not on them. We could hear the guys long before we could see them. Emmett was in the middle of a scary story about the lake monster.

"How opposed are you ladies to getting wet?" Nessie whispered.

She got the extinguisher ready as Rosalie, Alice, and Esme snuck around the camp to get to the water. We waited patiently for Emmett to finish his story. Both Ethan and Leo kept looking at the lake nervously. "Don't worry," Edward told them. "The monster is afraid of fire. As long as the campfire burns, it'll stay away." He made this too perfect.

There was a loud shriek followed by a splash. Jasper immediately stood up. "What was that?" There was another splash, causing the other men to stand up.

Emmett chuckled nervously. "I'm sure it's nothing." More splashing.

"Boys, stay here. We'll go check it out," said Edward calmly. The men grabbed their flashlights and headed towards the lake.

That's when Nessie and I made our move. Ethan and Leo jumped a little when we came out of the woods, but luckily they didn't scream. They could see our faces after all. "Play along," I whispered, smiling at them. "We're the lake monster." Nessie quickly put out the fire.

As we sprinted back into hiding, I could hear the boys yelling for help. They were very convincing. "Shit," Emmett shouted. "What the hell is going on?"

"The fire went out," Leo said, sounding panicked. "The lake monster's coming!"

"I made that up," Emmett argued.

There was another shriek and more splashing. "Then what is that?" Ethan asked hysterically.

"Those kids are good," Nessie whispered.

"I'll find out what's going on," said Carlisle. "Edward, maybe you should stay with the boys."

"Maybe we should go," Emmett suggested.

"You can stay with the boys too," said Jasper, rolling his eyes before following Carlisle.

Nessie took off to help out the other women. Her footsteps couldn't be heard over Carlisle and Jasper's sudden yelling. Emmett panicked. "Get the boys out of here! I'll go help them!" He took off to save his father and brother.

Edward grabbed a kid under each arm and started for the trail. I stepped out in front of him. "Where you going, Edward?"

This made him panic even more. "Bella! We've got to-" Then he realized what was going on. "You!" he growled.

"Hi Mom!" Leo grinned.

"Great job, guys!" I said as Edward put them down.

"Then who?" Edward pointed back towards the lake.

I laughed. "I'm guessing Esme, Alice, and Rosalie knocked Carlisle and Jasper in the lake and Nessie got there in time to help with Emmett after she put out the fire. It's what you guys get for trying to scare the boys." I let out a shriek of my own when Edward threw me over his shoulder.

"I'm introducing you to the lake monster," said Edward.

"Cullen! You better put me down," I warned, but I knew there was no use.

All the yelling had been replaced by laughing as the others were wrestling each other in the lake. Edward jumped in, taking us both right in the middle of it all. Nessie managed to get free and snuck off with the boys to toast marshmallows.

"You should have seen the look on your face," Rosalie teased Emmett.

"You're supposed to be having pillow fights at home," he replied, pulling her to him.

"We were betrayed by our women," said Carlisle.

"Aw, we'll make it up to you later," Esme promised. "But now we've got a sleepover to get back to." She kissed him before running out of the water.

The men were good sports and walked us back to the truck. Nessie was eating a s'more as we went. She was nice enough to share with Alice once we got in the vehicle.

"What are the chances of them getting us back?" Rosalie asked.

"Tonight? Slim to none," I answered. "However, I'm sure they'll be planning something for our next sleepover."

Esme smiled, "We'll be ready for them."

When we got back to the house, we all got dried off and ready for bed. Nessie was in a hurry to get home. I warned her to stay out of trouble. "Where would the fun in that be?" she asked smiling. If she was planning another encounter with Jake, I hope they ended up at his house this time.

I ended up sleeping in Edward's old room. His mother gave me permission to go through his stuff, so I took her up on it. I couldn't help myself.

It was a typical boys room. There were pictures of him and his brothers, most of them from different athletic events. I even found one of his old jerseys. I slipped it on and decided it would make a nice souvenir from the night. Maybe he wouldn't miss it.

"It looks better on you anyway." I jumped at Esme's voice. I hadn't heard her come in.

"You scared me," I breathed, sitting down on the bed.

"Sorry." She came over and sat next to me. "I wanted to talk to you about my son," she told me seriously. "I never cared for Victoria. If it wasn't for Ethan and Sophie, I would rather she'd never been a part of my family. Edward tried to move on after her for the sake of finding the kids a mom, but let's face it, his choices were horrendous." She took my hand then. "You're different. My grandchildren adore you, and my son can't get enough of you. It may be strange how quickly this is all happening, but I'm happy that you and Leo have become a part of our family."

This was so awkward for me. Renee and I didn't have many mother-daughter moments. "It doesn't bother you that I write erotica and swear like a sailor?"

"Your books have improved my sex life. I didn't even know that was possible," she admitted.

I smiled. "You people are crazy."

She nodded, "That's why you fit in so well." She stood up to leave. "I know you have to be careful, but I promise you, you won't find a better man for you and Leo than my son. His momma raised him right," she winked. "Sleep well, Bella."

As I burrowed myself into Edward's old bed, I thought about it. I didn't want to imagine a life without the Cullens, without Ethan and Sophie, without Edward. I spent most of my life wondering if I would ever be able to give Leo the type of family he deserved, and one just fell in my lap. I would be pretty damn stupid to push them away.

The door creaked open again, so I rolled over. Sophie was peeking her head in, "Bella?"

I smiled, "Hey Sophie."

"Can I sleep with you?" she asked. I sat up and pulled the covers aside. She ran over and dove onto the bed.

"Are you comfy?" I asked as I pulled the blankets over us. She nodded while yawning. I smiled again and kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams, Miss Sophie."

She snuggled into my side, so I put my arm around her. "I love you, Bella," she whispered.

I whispered back, "I love you too, Sophie."


	15. Chapter 15

**Edward**

It had been without a doubt the most memorable camping trip ever. Emmett could not believe that his lake monster story had been brought to life, but even though he had been scared shitless, he now thought it was awesome. I was glad that I didn't have to go a night without getting my goodnight kiss from Bella.

"I like peeing in the woods," Leo admitted.

"Me too!" said Ethan. "I almost hit that squirrel!"

I laughed and shook my head. Boys will be boys. It was very early in the morning, but everyone was already awake. Sleeping in a tent may be fun, but it was nowhere near as comfortable as our beds. We were all a little spoiled.

"I made breakfast!" Jasper announced, pointing to a tray of s'mores. Normally I wouldn't let them eat something so unhealthy for breakfast, but it was a special occasion.

"What's the matter old man?" I asked Carlisle as he came out of the tent with his hands on his lower back.

"My bed was a bit lumpy. Who's idea was it to rough it out here without the air mattresses?" he asked.

Jasper looked guilty. "That'd be me. In my defense, I didn't really want to rough it. I forgot them at home. My son doesn't believe in sleeping at night, so I've been a little out of it."

"I have no sympathy for you. You were the same way when you were a baby. It's payback time," said Carlisle.

I remembered getting up with Ethan and Sophie when they were that little. Victoria always refused, claiming she did her part in the delivery room. I didn't mind though. I loved every minute spent with my little ones. Although, I'm pretty sure I put Ethan's diaper on backwards one or twice.

Leo brought me a s'more and sat down beside me. "I think I'm a Momma's boy," he admitted.

"Thank you," I told him, taking the treat. "Now why do you think that?"

He shrugged. "I kinda miss her."

I smiled down at him. "There's nothing wrong with being a Momma's boy, and I kinda miss her too."

"I'm really having fun though," he told me quickly. I guess he didn't want me to think otherwise just because he missed Bella. "Thanks for letting me come."

"It wouldn't have been the same without you," I told him.

There were things we needed to do at home, so once everyone finished their s'mores, we packed up the camp and headed to my parents' house. Esme and Alice were the only ones in the kitchen. Alice was cradling Landon in her arms. Jasper immediately wrapped his arms around them, "Hello my family."

"I'm gonna go wake up my woman," Emmett announced before leaving the room.

My mother put her hand on my arm. "Go upstairs and change. I'll get the boys a real breakfast," said Esme. As I walked up the stairs, I heard her fussing. "S'mores, honestly."

I chuckled and headed to my old room. I wondered if Bella was awake yet. I thought about knocking, but decided against it. If she was asleep, I wanted to wake her myself, not by banging on a door. I crept inside and over to the bed.

Perfect.

That was the only word that could describe the sight before me. My Bella was sleeping on her side with her hair splayed out on my old pillow. She had her arm wrapped around my baby girl who was snuggled against her chest. I sat down carefully on the edge of the bed and watched them. When I saw that Bella was wearing one of my old football jerseys, with my last name written across her back, I couldn't help myself. I had to touch her. I kissed Sophie on the forehead before placing my hand against Bella's cheek. When she didn't stir, I slowly moved it upward, letting my fingers run into her soft hair.

"You better have a good reason for waking me up," she said sleepily without opening her eyes.

"I missed you," I replied, continuing to caress her face and hair.

Her eyes fluttered open. She didn't try to move away from hand. "You saw me last night."

I smiled at her. "So?"

She smiled back, "So, go get cleaned up. Then get back here."

I didn't need to be told twice. I grabbed my clothes and went into the bathroom to get a quick shower. I smelled like campfire. I washed the smoky smell out of my hair before drying off and putting on some pants. I was about to brush my teeth when there was a soft knock on the door. "Come in," I called. I was surprised when it was Bella that stepped inside, still wearing my jersey and not much else.

"It's steamy in here," she said as she picked up her own toothbrush. She playfully bumped into me with her shoulder to get to the sink.

"You're supposed to still be in bed," I told her, nudging her back.

"Sophie left me for pancakes," she replied before sticking the toothbrush in her mouth.

We stood next to each other in front of the mirror brushing our teeth. I would occasionally bump into her. She would always frown at me before getting me back. It was a good way to start a day. As soon as the toothbrushes were down though, I picked her up. "We're going back to bed."

"But I'm wide awake," she argued half-heartedly as I carried her back into the room.

"I didn't say anything about sleeping." I fell onto the bed, taking her with me. She was smiling before I covered her mouth with mine. I kept my arm around her, pulling her in close as our lips moved against each others'.

"Hey, it's a party!" We quickly broke apart to find Ethan and Leo coming in the door. "Hi Bella!" It seemed Leo was rubbing off on my son. I would have to remember to lock the door in the future.

Bella sat up. "Hey birthday boy!" She moved over some to make room for them. She kissed both of the boys on their cheeks. "Did you guys have fun?"

"Yes ma'am," Leo answered. "But Nana Esme says we've got to wash the camp off of us now." That sounded like my mom alright.

We sent the boys into different bathrooms to get cleaned up. I wanted to pick up where we left off, but Bella was already halfway out the door. I was sad to see that her legs were now covered in pajama pants. "Hey! Get back here, woman!"

"I need food," she called over her shoulder. I jumped up and went after her.

"Morning," Rosalie grunted when Bell dropped into the chair next to her. Emmett fixed them both a plate, decorating the pancakes himself to look like smiley faces.

Bella laughed. "Why thank you Emmett, but there's no way I'm going to eat all of this."

"That's what Eddie's for," he grinned, handing me a fork.

I sat down next to her, and she moved the plate in between us. Sophie was sitting across from us on Carlisle's lap with her mouth so full her cheeks were puffy. When she finally managed to swallow, she smiled. "Hi Daddy."

I loved her to pieces. "Hi Princess."

Esme brought us something to drink. "Bella's going to take Ethan and Leo to her house to pick up Shredder. That will give us time to get to your house and get everything ready for the party."

"I can't believe you want that monster at the party," said Bella.

"Ethan claims he's part of the family," my mother replied simply.

Believing that the camping trip was his party, Ethan didn't suspect a thing as he left with Bella and Leo. He had no idea that many of his teammates and several kids from school were at my house. The pool was going to be packed, but Bella's friend Felix was coming as a lifeguard. That would be interesting.

"Hey boss!" Nessie waved as she pulled up at my house. She had volunteered to bring the cake. She strapped her helmet on the back of her bike.

"Hey Ness," I replied. "Please tell me you didn't forget the cake."

She stepped back in mock offense. "Of course not! It's being delivered." Jake pulled up and got out of the car. He did not look happy as he slammed the door. "If you could put that in the kitchen, that would be great!" Nessie shouted to him. He flipped her off before getting the cake out of the back of his car and going inside. She rolled her eyes. "I don't know what his problem is. I asked nicely." Then she went after him. "Stop being such an ass!"

I chuckled. Those two were either going to end up killing each other or married. Either way the rest of us would get some entertainment from it. As the other guests arrived, I directed them all out back. I didn't know how I was going to get Ethan back there without noticing all of the cars out front.

My worries were useless though since Bella took care of it. When she pulled up, she helped Ethan out of her truck. He was blindfolded. Leo got out beside him with muffs over his ears. When she caught me looking, she shrugged. "It's a ninja thing apparently. They're trying to rely on their other senses."

Ethan ran into the back of her. "Sorry Bella."

Poor Leo was nearly plowed over when he didn't hear Shredder coming. "I don't think this is working," he admitted.

"I'm doing great," said Ethan before bumping into Bella again. "Sorry Bella."

She put her arms around both of them. "The damn dog gave me less trouble than you two."

"What?" Leo asked loudly.

"Need some help?" I asked, kissing her cheek.

"Dad?" said Ethan. "When did you get here?"

"You can take these two ding dongs," she offered, pushing them towards me.

"Hi Edward!" Leo shouted.

I laughed and waved, knowing he couldn't hear me. I led them inside while Bella took Shredder around back. Ethan bumped into doorframe. "Dad!" He huffed. "Bella didn't let me run into anything."

"Put your hands out in front of you," I told him, trying not to laugh again.

"Oh, hey!" He found this to help out immensely. "Great idea, Dad."

When I got them to the back door, Leo took his muffs off and grinned at me. Obviously Bella had told him about the party. He opened the door and I led Ethan through. I took off his blindfold as everyone else shouted, "Surprise!"

Ethan's eyes widened and he looked up at me. "Happy Birthday," I smiled.

"Thanks Dad!" He hugged me quickly around the middle before running off to join his friends with Leo.

"They grow up so fast," said Emmett, slapping me on the back. I looked down at the duck pool ring he was sporting. "Sophie," he sighed before heading back into the crowd.

Alice pulled me over to the side. "I wanted to talk to you about my gift before I gave it to him." I followed her inside. "I asked him what he wanted, and this was his answer." She handed me the gift bag. I pulled out the picture frame and turned it over. There was a candid picture of Bella and I with the kids. "Is it okay?"

I traced our laughing faces with my fingertips. "It's perfect."

She smiled at me and put it back in the bag. "I'll make you a copy later."

Feeling pretty damn warm and fuzzy, I went back outside to hang out with my family. Ethan and Leo were right in the middle of everything, coming up with inventive ways to bust water balloons, and Sophie was leading her Uncle Jasper towards the slide. Bella was sitting somewhat reluctantly as Nessie painted a flower on her cheek. I noticed I wasn't the only one looking in their direction. "See something you like?"

Jacob jumped a little, having not heard me coming. He smiled and held up his hands. "I promise I wasn't checking out your woman."

"I know," I replied. "You were checking out her sister."

He cursed quietly. "She's driving me crazy. One minute I want to strangle her and the next… well…"

"I've heard," I confessed without thinking. His eyes snapped to mine. "Well you two weren't exactly quiet," I added.

"Which time?" he asked.

I smirked. "I didn't know there was one more than one." He groaned. "You really took those full body searches to the next level, didn't you?" I teased.

"I'm going to get a drink," said Jake.

"Alright let's blow out some candles, so we can eat cake and get to the presents," I announced. Ethan stood between Sophie and Leo as everyone sang the birthday song. He puffed out his cheeks to blow out the eight candles. While everyone ate cake and ice cream, he opened his gifts. I was standing next to Bella stealing bites of her cake while we watched.

"I swear I will bite you," she warned.

A minute later. "Ouch!"

"Told you," said Bella.

Ethan ran over with some kind of gadget in his hand. "Thanks Bella!" He showed it to me. It was a cell phone for kids.

"You keep getting these silly ideas that I'm going to leave you. Now you have a way to find me whenever you need to just by pressing a button," she explained. She bent down to hug him, and he surprised her by kissing her cheek before running back to his gifts. She sighed, "Damn kids are making me soft." Despite her words, she didn't sound upset by this. Then she looked down at her plate and frowned. "Dammit Cullen, if you're going to keep stealing my cake, you could at least go get us a bigger piece."

"Yes dear," I replied. I jumped when she poked me in the ass with her plastic fork as I walked away. I glared playfully. "Would you like another fork too?"

"No thanks," she smiled. "I'm rather fond of this one."

The party lasted another two hours before everyone started clearing out. Most of the kids were exhausted from swimming all day anyway. I was sitting next to Bella when Felix came over and plopped down next to us. "Greetings lovebirds." Bella looked at him suspiciously. He rolled his eyes, "B, I'm not going to get you back at a kid's birthday party. I have to let you sweat it out a little first."

"So you haven't thought of anything yet," said Bella.

"Be afraid, B," he smiled before standing up. "I've got a hot date. I'll see you kids later."

Bella sat up. "I should probably be going too."

"Why?" I asked.

"I need to get home, cook dinner, and make sure Jake doesn't screw Nessie on my couch," she answered, standing up.

I pulled her down on my lap. "Don't go. Spend the night."

The kids heard my suggestion and came to my aid. "Please Bella," said Ethan. "It's my birthday. You can't go home."

She noticed the frame in his hands and got a flash of the picture. She slipped it out of his grasp to see what it was. "Where did you get this?" she asked softly.

"Aunt Ali," he answered shyly. "It's for my bedroom."

"It's our family photo!" Leo grinned.

Bella handed it back to him. "I'll take Shredder home and pick up some clothes."

I smiled as the kids cheered and ran inside. "You should bring a few extra clothes for next time," I suggested. She rolled her eyes and headed to the truck. Shredder followed her without her even having to call for him.

I had spaghetti cooked on the table by the time she got back. After we ate, we all got ready for bed, so that we could watch a new movie that Ethan got for his birthday. I had to take Sophie upstairs halfway through. Her three old energy had been wiped out for the day. When I got back to the living room, I noticed that Bella too had fallen asleep. I sat down next to her and held her until the movie was over.

The guys were about to head up to bed, so I kissed them both goodnight. "Do either of you mind if Bella sleeps in my room?"

Ethan shook his head, and Leo answered, "No sir. Sometimes she talks though, so she might keep you awake."

"Thanks for the warning," I replied. "Goodnight you two."

"Night!" they whispered loudly as they went up the stairs.

I lifted Bella, careful not to wake her, and made my way to my room. She couldn't be mad at me since I talked to the kids about it first. I managed to get us both under the covers without waking her. "Sweet dreams my Bella." I whispered.

She groaned and buried her face in my chest. I smiled when I heard her mumble, "Goodnight my Edward." That seriously made my damn day. I was about to doze off when she added, "You're still a jackass."

I kissed her hair. "Shut up and sleep, Swan."

* * *

**AN: I'm pretty sure it's called a firefly phone in case you were wondering.  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**Bella**

"Bella? Baby, I've gotta go to work." Un-freaking-believable. For twenty-six years, I hated mornings with a passion. Now all it took was for Romeo to call me baby and I was burying my face in a pillow to hide my damn smile. Feeling his warm lips brush across my skin wasn't so bad either. "I'm taking the kids to Mom's house. They're spending the night, so you can stay in bed as long as you want."

I finally opened my eyes. What the hell? I wasn't in the guest room. Come to think of it, I couldn't remember going to bed at all. "How did I get here?" I asked. My voice was a little raspy from sleep.

The bed dipped next to me as Edward sat down. "You don't remember? You practically begged me to take you to bed and have my way with you last night." That damn sexy smirk gave away that he was teasing.

"Fine, but if I end up pregnant, you have to marry me," I replied. He didn't need to know that I was on the pill these days.

"That doesn't sound too bad," he smiled.

"Please," I mumbled. "You think I'm a bitch now, imagine me with swollen feet."

He rubbed my ankle through the blanket. "I would still take care of you even if you were a bitch."

I laughed. "Aren't you sweet?"

"I'll try to get off early. You better still be here when I get back," he warned before kissing my hand and leaving.

Even though his sheets smelled incredible, I finally forced myself to get out of bed. It felt strange being in Edward's house all by myself. Despite his warning, I needed to go home and take care of a few things. I took the spare key, so I could come back later.

Nessie was at work. She would be moving into the dorms soon, but I knew with the recent developments in her relationship with Jake, she would still end up here more than there.

There was a large envelope outside my front door with my name on it. I was immediately suspicious. I had pulled one too many pranks not to be. If this was a trick, I deserved it, but I had too much pride to open it where someone could see me, so I went inside. I carefully tore the envelope open with my finger before pouring out the contents on the counter.

My breath caught in my throat when the golden mask slid out in front of me. It looked exactly like the mask I had worn more than seven years ago, the same freaking mask I had let fall to the ground while being ravished by a stranger. My hand trembled as I reached for the slip of paper that lay beside it. The handwriting was unfamiliar to me.

_You dropped this._

It was creepy as hell. If this was a prank, it wasn't very funny. I shoved everything back in the envelope and snatched my keys off the counter.

"B!" Felix grinned when I stormed into his office. His smile faded a little when he saw my tense expression. "What's wrong?"

"What the hell is this?" I tossed the envelope on his desk.

"Um… an envelope?" he replied. He opened it and took out the contents.

"Just tell me where you got the mask," I pleaded.

Felix looked at me with true concern in his eyes. "Bella, I didn't send this to you."

I covered my hands with my face and took a few deep breaths. "Okay. I'm sorry." I let my hands fall to my side. "I'm gonna go."

"B, are you okay?" he asked, handing me back the envelope.

"Yeah," I said, forcing a smile.

He came around his desk to hug me. "You know if you need me to hurt somebody, I'll be there in a heartbeat."

I nodded. "I know. Thanks Felix."

"I'm still gonna get you back for the fat ass horn though," he added to make me laugh.

"Good luck," I smiled. "I'll see you later."

This shit couldn't be happening. I let that bastard have sex with me one time, and I hadn't heard from him since. Why the hell was he bothering me now? The envelope only had my name on it. It wasn't mailed; it was hand-delivered. He knew where I lived. He had been at my house.

I pulled into Cullen Construction's lot and rushed inside. Nessie was on the phone, but she still pointed me in the right direction. I found Edward, Emmett, and Jasper standing around a table, looking over some papers. "I have a problem."

"I'll get the shovels," said Jasper.

"I'll get the truck," Emmett added.

"I didn't kill anybody," I huffed. "Although I am thinking about it," I admitted after a brief thought. "Leo's father was at my house. I didn't see him, but I know he was there. I can't let Leo go back there until I find out who he is and what he wants."

"You can stay at my house," said Edward, coming over to my side. He took my face in his hands. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "I'm mad as hell." And I was a little scared, but no one needed to know that.

Jasper had his phone in his hand. "Alice is on the way to your house. If anyone shows up there again, we'll know it."

"How?" I asked.

"She sees everything," Emmett whispered cryptically.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "She worked a couple of years as a detective before she decided to pursue photography instead so she could spend more time at home." So that was how she snuck into my house so easily. "She's going to set up some surveillance cameras around your house. You might want to warn your sister."

The last thing I needed was for Jake and Nessie to unknowingly make a porno. She put down the phone when I came out. "What's up, Sissy?"

"Leo's father was at our house. Alice is putting up security cameras, and I'm going to stay at Edward's for a few days," I told her.

"Why don't you call Charlie? I'm sure he'd be happy to shoot him for you," said Nessie.

The thought had occurred to me actually. "Because if anyone gets to shoot him, it should be me."

Edward went with me to my house to get some of my things. Neither one of us said much. I was too busy thinking about other things. If everything worked out the way it was supposed to, I would finally know who Leo's father was. The thing that surprised me was that I realized it didn't matter. I may not have known him, but he knew who I was. He knew about the pregnancy. It had been the town gossip for nearly a year. He abandoned Leo before he was even born. The man was nothing more than a sperm donor, and other than his medical records, I wanted nothing from him.

"I may have went a tad bit overboard," Alice admitted when I stepped out of the truck.

I looked around, not noticing anything different. "I don't see anything."

She beamed back at me. "Of course you don't. I'm that good." Then she pulled me inside and began telling me about the different gadgets she had set up. It was impressive really. If someone suspicious so much as drove down our street, she would know about it. "I'll let you know as soon as I get something," she promised on her way out the door.

"She is without a doubt the best dressed detective I have ever met," I said as Edward carried a couple of suitcases to the truck.

"She'd kiss you if she heard you say that," he replied. "Why don't you get Shredder and we can go?"

"What about Nessie?" I asked. I couldn't leave her here alone.

"Emmett called. He said she was planning to stay at Jake's for a stakeout," Edward explained.

I let out a short laugh. "Does Jake know about this?"

He smirked. "Of course not."

Poor Jake. However, I'm sure he would find someway to enjoy this arrangement. I just hoped none of it was caught on camera.

Before going to his house, I dropped him off so he could get his car. I assured him that I would be fine by myself, but he insisted that he was done for the day anyway. He was back to being quiet again, and it was kind of driving me insane. "Would you please say something?"

"Sorry," said Edward. "I was just thinking."

"Well stop. It can't be healthy," I replied, falling backwards on his bed.

He lay down next to me. "I hate that Leo's father is here." I turn my head to look at him, but he didn't meet my eyes. "I know it's selfish, but I can't help it. I liked where things were going with us. I love having you and Leo here. I love how much my children love you and you love them. I love that Leo wants me to be his dad. I love that you call me a jackass when you're sleeping. I love-" He paused. "What if he has a logical reason for leaving you? What if Leo wants his real father? What if you want his real father?"

"Edward." He looked at me. I grabbed a pillow and lightly hit him with it.

"What was that for?" he asked with a small smile.

"For being an idiot," I replied softly. "That man isn't Leo's real father. A real father wouldn't have left him like that. When I find out who he is, I plan on giving him a swift kick to the balls and telling him to stay the hell out of my life."

All I wanted was for Leo to have a family. He had me, Charlie, and Nessie, but he deserved so much more. With the Cullens, he had aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, a brother, a sister, and a dad. They took us in like we belonged with them. Hell, maybe we did belong with them. We were missing pieces to one big ass puzzle.

Edward reached down and touched my fingers with his. The man was crazy. He knew me, and he wanted to be with me anyway. I had seen him everyday since I first kidnapped his children, and he was slowly but surely turning me into a sap. I prided myself on being a hard-ass, but all he had to do was smile at me and my damn heart fluttered. It wasn't just that I loved his family and I loved his kids. I loved _him_. "Holy shit!" I sat up straight.

"What?" Edward sat up with me. "Baby, what is it?"

I looked at him in shock. "I had an aha moment," I practically whispered. I couldn't freaking believe it.

He looked cute when he was confused. "A what?"

"I-" I didn't know how to explain it. "Oh hell," I grabbed his face in my hands and kissed him. His arms immediately went around me, pulling me closer. I ran my fingers into his hair, and he kissed me harder.

"Bella," he breathed against my lips. His hands moved down my back and stopped at the hem of my shirt. I helped him take the damn thing off and threw it out of the way. He pushed me back on the bed, trailing soft kisses across my jaw and down my neck while his fingers skimmed my sides. I lifted my hips so he could help me out of my jeans. "You're so beautiful," he trailed a strong hand over my leg.

He moved his hands behind me to unclasp my bra. "Edward." He slowly pulled it away and dropped it to the side. His lips met mine again before moving to my collarbone and finally my breasts. When his lips wrapped around my hardened nipple, I forgot what the hell I was going to say until I ran my hands across his still clothed back. "Get the hell out of those clothes."

He pulled back with a smirk. He was still a smug bastard. He pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it. I couldn't wait to have his chest pressed against mine. I almost groaned at how slow he was about unbuttoning his pants and pushing them to the ground. Finally he was touching me again, kissing me while I pressed my body flush against his. "Let me make love to you," he whispered.

I couldn't think of anything I wanted more. He hooked his fingers into the edge of my panties and began to pull them away. He started to push his boxers down, but I stopped him. I wanted to do that. I laid eyes on his erect member, and I'm pretty sure I whimpered. I hadn't had sex in eight years. I didn't know how he was going to fit that monster inside of me, but I was more than willing to let him try.

He kissed me softly as he pushed into me. I felt myself stretching around him. "Shit," I breathed. "Edward."

He moved slowly at first, kissing me again. I lifted my hips to meet his with every thrust. My breathing picked up as he started to quicken the pace. I brought my leg up and hooked it over his hip. "Bella," he said with moan.

I lost myself as he thrust into me over and over. I remember screaming his name before my body tightened around him, my release triggering his on. He collapsed on top of me, and I welcomed the weight. We lay there panting in silence until he rolled over to my side and pulled me against his chest. "What the hell is an aha moment and how soon can you have another one?"

"It'll have to be after lunch. I'm starving." I hadn't had anything to eat all day. Funny how I forgot about that earlier. When I hopped out of bed, I winced. "Son of a bitch." It didn't occur to me that I might be a little sore after an eight year break.

"Problems?" Edward smirked.

"Jackass," I grumbled.

He pulled on his boxers and helped me into his shirt before pulling me to him for a kiss.

We ordered Chinese and ate in the living room on the sofa. There was no after sex awkwardness. He tried to steal some of my food as always, so I was forced to poke him my little plastic fork. I sucked at using chopsticks. I didn't know what would happen in the future, but I did know one thing. If we ever got married, that man was never sleeping on the couch.

* * *

**AN: For those of you who wanted Edward to be Leo's father, I hope you don't hate me. I'll even let you in on a few reasons why I didn't let that happen. (1)Edward was with Victoria at the time. He wasn't in love with her, but she was pregnant with his baby. This Edward doesn't cheat. (2)I don't know how he would forget about having sex with a stranger at a masquerade ball. (3)This story is dancing on the line between believable and no way in hell could that happen. I feel that Edward being the father would push it right on over. Bella moved to a new town and randomly kidnapped some children at a grocery store. That was unbelievable enough without adding in that they were the children of her unknown baby daddy. (4)I thought it would suck for Bella if Edward was Leo's father, but she wasn't Ethan and Sophie's mother. And (5)I had a different guy picked out from the beginning.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Edward**

This could have easily turned into the worst day of my life. Bella could have decided Leo's father would be her chance at completing her family, and that scared the hell out of me. I had taken for granted that she was always there. I had assumed that she wanted me as much as I wanted her. I didn't think it needed to be said until the moment I realized it may be too late to say it.

But now she was sitting beside me wearing my shirt and looking thoroughly ravished. I did that to her. She _let _me do that to her. I wasn't going to miss my chance. I was going to tell her that I loved her there and then. However, as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, she stood up and started walking away. That wouldn't do. "Isabella Swan, get your ass over here," I demanded.

"Aw how cute," she replied in a patronizing tone. "You think you can tell me what to do. Kiss my ass, Cullen."

That did it. "If you say so." I lunged for her.

"It's just an expression!" she yelled over her shoulder as she ran out of the room.

The combination of me knowing my house better than she did and her still being a little sore allowed me to catch her quickly. "One that I take very seriously." I pushed her over my kitchen counter and pulled up her shirt.

She gasped a little over-dramatically. "Don't. You. Dare."

"You have a very cute ass, Bella," I teased, running my hand over her right cheek.

"My ass is not cute," she argued.

I gave it a little smack and smirked when she shrieked. "From now on, I think I'll call you cute ass. You call me jackass, so it's only fair." While she growled at me, I bent down and gave her a little nip.

Bella jumped. "Hey! I said kiss my ass, not bite it."

"Sorry," I laughed, turning her around and wrapping her in my arms. "I couldn't help myself." I kissed the pout off her face. "If you weren't so sore, I'd take you right here on this counter."

"Well, I was on my way to take a warm bath, but then you suddenly felt the need to manhandle me," she replied.

"Allow me." I swept her feet out from under her and carried her to my bathroom. My tub was larger than the average, so it took a bit longer to fill up than most.

Bella reached down and picked up one of several tub toys. I sometimes let Sophie and Ethan take a bath in my tub because it was so big. They didn't mind bath time so much when it reminded them of swimming. "You're a little old to be playing in the bathtub, don't you think?" she asked with a smile.

I took the plastic rowboat out her hand and tugged her shirt over her head. "Get in the tub, cute ass." She huffed but did as I said.

While she made herself comfortable, I found a basket and put all of the toys out of the way. I could imagine myself running my hands over my beautiful Bella only to have a rubber duck squeak and ruin the moment. When they were all out of the way, I shed my boxers only to hear Bella laugh quietly behind me. I turned around, raising an eyebrow.

"I just remembered that story Rosalie told me about you taking a nail to the ass," she smiled.

"You were checking out my ass?" I smirked back.

Her eyes left mine and dropped lower. "Among other things."

I groaned. "Bella, we're not going to make it through this bath if you keep saying stuff like that." She didn't look very apologetic. I sat with my back to the other end, so I was facing her. Then I took one of her dainty little feet in my hands.

"What were you like before you had kids?" Bella asked curiously.

"In high school, I was a heartthrob, and everyone loved me," I joked. "Of course, if you ask my brothers, they'll tell you I was a nerd. It's all lies."

"That's too bad. I always had a soft spot for nerds," she admitted.

I snorted disbelievingly. "You had a soft spot?" She lightly kicked me. "See. I find that very hard to believe."

She turned around and slid backwards, so her back rested against my chest and her head lay on my shoulder. "You bring out the worst in me." I wrapped my arms around her and propped my chin on her shoulder while she played with my fingers. I loved her worst.

"I kept to myself a lot. I was a running back on my high school football team. When I wasn't on the field, I was in the music room playing piano or in the library reading. The only trouble I ever got into always happened with Emmett and Jasper. As the oldest, Jasper swears he was the most responsible, but he was just better at not getting caught. Emmett's the baby, so he had to be crazy to make a name for himself beside Jasper and Edward's little brother. It worked like a charm. I didn't do anything rebellious on my own until I got to college."

Bella tried to turn her head to look at me, but my face was too close to hers. "I didn't know you played piano. I thought you just had one for decoration."

"I'll play for you later," I promised. "Now it's your turn." I lathered up a sponge to wash us while she spoke.

"Hmm," she replied. "At school, I was the quiet girl who did her work and didn't get into any trouble. Outside of school was another story. I wasn't into drugs or anything. The guys and I liked to do things sober, so we could remember it later. There was also the small matter of a young deputy named Riley who spied on us from time to time, so we had to stay focused. I think Charlie put him up to it because he never trusted Aro."

"So you were a delinquent?" I asked, amused but not surprised.

"I wasn't that bad," she replied, defending herself. "It was never anything worth jail time, just harmless pranks. We lived in a small town. We had to do something to entertain ourselves." We continued to talk about our pasts until she looked at her fingers. "I'm starting to wrinkle."

I hadn't realized we had been in there that long. I kissed her shoulder. "I'll get us some towels." She moved forward a little, so I could get out. I dried off a bit and secured the towel around my waist before holding one open for her. When she stepped out, I began to dry her off, paying special attention to her backside.

"You've got to get over this new fascination of my behind," said Bella.

I moved to stand in front of her, but I reached around and grabbed her firmly with both hands. "This ass is mine now, Swan. You better get used to it." I cut off any protest she might have made with a kiss. She whimpered a little when I gently sucked on her bottom lip. I really liked that sound.

After we finally managed to get dressed, I decided to show her around my property. She had been there before on our first date, but she didn't know it was mine then. The land used to belong to my parents, but I bought it from them as soon as I was able and had the house built. I led her outside to the shed where the ATV was parked. I climbed on and looked back at her. "You coming?"

She got on behind me, holding onto me tightly. "You have to promise never to let Leo find the key to this thing."

"Not until he's older," I compromised. Once they were old enough, I planned on buying the boys one of their own, but she didn't need to know that yet.

It was fun riding through the woods with Bella pressed against my back. I found myself taking curves too quickly to get her to hold onto me tighter. She was right. I was a jackass, but I really had no remorse.

I stopped at the small creek where Ethan and Sophie liked to play. I had built a bridge over it that led to a gazebo. I figured it would be an excellent place for us to talk; not as good as the bathtub of course, but it would do. "So Ms. Swan, I know all about your past and your present. What do you want in the future?"

She sat down next to me on the wooden bench that circled the inside of the gazebo. "Honestly, I want to write a novel, something other than erotica. There's only so many ways I can describe someone's throbbing member. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for what I do. The royalties I get from the Mistress Marie series let me buy anything Leo needs, and I was able to write them all while he was sleeping, so I never missed anything. Most single parents aren't that lucky. Other than that, I just want to be happy with my family." She paused for a moment. "I'll take Sophie if you give the Leo _the talk._ I got mine from Charlie, and neither of us made it through unscathed."

I laughed loudly. I could imagine the tough Chief of Police trying to talk to his daughter about sex. However, then I thought about what it would be like if I had to do the same with Sophie. "Deal." I grinned. "Does that mean I get to be a part of your future?"

"I kinda already promised your kids," she replied. "Think you can manage being around me for the rest of your life?"

"Somehow," I sighed.

She smiled. "What about you? What's in store for the great Edward Cullen?"

I took in a deep breath. Here goes nothing. "I plan on spending everyday making sure you love me as much as I love you."

There was silence, and I was about to panic; especially when Bella whispered, "Shit."

"Bella?" I noticed that her breathing had picked up. "Baby, what's wrong?"

She closed her eyes. "No one has ever said anything like that to me before." She finally looked at me. Her beautiful brown eyes were full of unshed tears. "Now look at me. I'm about to cry like those people I make fun of in those cheesy romance movies."

A smile tugged at my lips. "I didn't freak you out?"

She scoffed. "What the hell did you think my aha moment was?" She angrily wiped a tear away from her face. She was obviously not a fan of crying.

"Bella, there's no way I'll ever know what's going on inside your head," I argued with a small smile. I _still _wasn't one hundred percent sure. I needed to hear her say it. I took her face in my hands, my expression serious again. "I love you."

She leaned forward a little so our foreheads touched. "I love you too." Her eyes met mine. "Don't you dare tell anyone I cried." I stood up and grabbed her so quickly that she shrieked in surprise. Her feet left the ground as I spun her around. I was so damn happy that I would have skipped if I knew she would ever let me forget I did it. She laughed and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I've never been in love before," she confessed. "I might suck at it."

"This is new for me too," I assured her. "But I'm freakishly good at everything, so I'll help you out."

She sighed, "Jackass." Then she kissed me. I held her close, savoring the moment as our lips moved together, our tongues lightly brushing against each other every so often. It wasn't too gentle or too hard. It was completely perfect.

We stayed in the woods until dinner time. We had danced, kissed, and argued. It was a good beginning for us. When we got back to the house, we even cooked together. It was becoming increasingly difficult to resist bending her over the table, but I knew that once we finished eating, there would be no interruptions for the rest of the night. I could wait. I think.

While we were washing our dishes, Bella's phone rang. She smiled when she looked at the caller id. "Hello… I miss you too. Are you guys being good for Esme?" She laughed. "Okay. Love you too. Here's Edward." She handed me the phone. "They've got you on speaker phone."

I grinned. "Hello?" There was a chorus of different greetings from three very familiar voices. "Hey! What are you guys up to?"

"_We're eating ice cream sundaes!" _said Leo.

"_Were we supposed to tell him that?" _Ethan asked Leo.

"_Whoops," _Leo whispered. _"Forget I said that," _he told me.

I laughed. "Just make sure you don't eat too much."

"_Okay!" _They all replied.

"_Miss you Daddy!" _My little Sophie.

"I miss you too," I replied. "Keep those boys in line okay?"

"_Okay," _she said back.

"I love you guys. Be good and I'll see you tomorrow." I smiled as they all said they loved me too before hanging up.

Bella had finished putting the dishes away, so I pulled her over to me. I gently nibbled my way up and down her neck while she raked her fingers through my hair. I was secretly thrilled at how much he liked to touch my hair. "Bella," I breathed. "I plan on taking you to bed and making love to you again and again," I muttered against her skin. "But if I don't have you in this kitchen right now, I'm going to lose my mind."

She pulled my lips to hers briefly. "If we make a mess, you're cleaning it up."

"Fair enough," I managed to get out before attacking her mouth and fumbling to rid her of her clothes. She just as eagerly worked to get me out of mine. I wasn't sure where everything landed, and quite frankly, I didn't give a damn.

"You threw my bra in the sink," Bella somehow noticed.

"Don't care." I kissed her again to help her forget all about it. She moaned against my mouth, and I knew I had succeeded. I finally got her over the table and slid into her with a satisfied groan. She was warm and tight around me. I bent over and left a trail of open mouth kisses across her sweet shoulders and down her spine. She was my Bella. I was her Edward.

Bella held onto the table as I thrust into her over and over again. I wasn't being gentle, and she wasn't telling me to stop. I slipped my hand around to her front. She quickly grabbed it and moved it to where she needed it to be. Her little sounds of pleasure were getting louder. She whimpered when I pulled out, but I couldn't do it. I needed to see her face. I turned her around and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around me as I entered her again. Her eyes locked on mine as I moved in and out of her.

"Edward," she gasped as her eyes closed and her beautiful body tightened around me. I fought to hold on. I wasn't ready for it to be over. I continued to move while she recovered. "I love you," she whispered.

I exploded.

I leaned her back against the wall and rested my head on her shoulder. She was panting heavily, so I gently pulled out and turned so I could ease us both to the floor. My legs wouldn't make it to the bedroom yet.

"Let's just sleep in the damn kitchen," Bella muttered.

I loved her, and it felt pretty damn good to be able to say how I felt when I felt it. I loved her, and as promised, I spent the rest of the night showing her exactly how much.

I decided to go into work later the next day. The guys would understand. My Bella was still sleeping next to me. I quietly leaned over and kissed her cheek, following it up with a soft trail of kisses until I reached her lips. When her eyes blinked open, I smiled. "Good morning cute ass."

"Morning Jackass," she yawned. "You know you're not allowed to call me that in public." I chuckled, and she draped her arm over me, using my chest as a pillow. "We need to talk about a few things."

"Like?" I asked.

"Like in the horrific chance that we ever get caught by our children, what are we going to tell them?" she replied. "I'm not going with the whole wrestling excuse. Word would get back to your family, and we'd end up having to hurt someone."

She was right. Although it would almost be worth it to see her hitting my brothers. "Our kids are too damn smart. We'll tell them we were dancing. If they don't buy it, we'll threaten them."

The phone rang suddenly, startling us both. I reached over to grab it without moving Bella too much. "Hello?"

"_You had sex!" _

"Alice?" How the hell did she know that?

"_Was it good? Let me talk to Bella."_

"What makes you think-" She cut me off.

"_I can hear that smug tone in your voice. It's too early in the morning for you to be that proud of yourself." _

I held back a laugh. "It is early. Why are you calling me?"

"_Way to dodge the question, Edward. Anyway, you two should probably get over to Bella's house. You can get cleaned up first. A little fun in the shower will keep you from getting irritated at me for calling so early." _

Thoughts of Bella panting while I had her pinned against the shower wall immediately flooded my mind.

Bella shook me a little to snap me out of it. "Did she find anything?" Oh right.

"Alice, why do we need to get over there?" I asked.

"_We caught someone! Nessie's got him tied up. Did you know she and Jake-"_

"Yes," I cut her off. "We'll be there as soon as we can. Thanks Alice." I looked down at Bella, "They got him."


	18. Chapter 18

**Bella**

I was ready for this. I was ready to know who was the biological father of my child. I was ready to find out why he abandoned me all those years ago. I was ready for the closure, I was ready to move on, and I was ready to kick his ass.

Alice was waiting outside my house when we pulled up. "I set up the interrogation room in Jake's basement because it was darkest. I would have used yours, but there wasn't room. A ball pit? Really Bella?"

"I'll let you play in it later," I promised.

"Oh I know," she smiled. "The next family dinner is at your house." She motioned towards Jake's. "Ready to meet your baby daddy?"

Of course I was. "No." Okay, maybe I wasn't. Edward took my hand and squeezed it lightly.

"At least he's not bad looking," Alice said in an effort to make me feel better. It made me smile, but had the opposite effect on Edward. "Of course he's nowhere near as gorgeous as Edward," she added to humor him.

The anticipation was killing me. We followed her into the house and down to the basement. The room was almost completely dark with only a single lamp hanging over a table. They were taking this interrogation business to the extreme. I looked around Jake to where the culprit was gagged and bound to a chair. Staring back at me was a face I hadn't seen in over seven years.

Nessie stood beside him, slapping Jake's nightstick against her hand. "We caught this bad boy creeping around outside your house. He wasn't so tough when I drop-kicked his ass." She buffed her fingers on her tee shirt. "Just another thing I learned in rehab."

"James," I growled. "What the hell? I was nice to your creepy ass. How could you do that to me?"

Alice pulled the gag out of his mouth. "She asked you a question."

He glared back at me. "What?" he snapped. "It's not like I hurt you or anything. You deserved worse." I saw red. I wanted to hit him so badly, but I knew it would hurt my damn hand.

Sensing my dilemma, Edward gently moved me aside. "Allow me." I swear I heard a bone crack when he punched him.

"Here Sissy," said Nessie, offering me the nightstick. "Club him one."

"You think getting her pregnant didn't hurt her?" Edward shouted, getting ready to hit him again.

"What the hell are you talking about?" James replied angrily. "I didn't get her pregnant."

What? I pulled Edward back. "But the mask…"

"I used to be obsessed with you. I took it the night you dropped it at that boring as shit ball. You were too busy to notice," he sneered.

"Why the hell did you give it back now? You scared the shit out of me!" I snatched the club from Nessie and whacked his arm.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Nessie asked, grinning. I was pleased that he grunted. I at least got to bruise him a little. Had he been Leo's father, I would have gone for blood.

He spoke through his clinched teeth. "That was the point."

Jake chimed in, "I have a taser if you need it."

"Why?" I asked James. We hadn't been the best of friends, but I was always nice to him when he was around.

"You hit my girlfriend with a car!" he replied furiously.

What the hell was he talking about? I didn't hit anybody with a car. It was Tanya who… oh hell. "Victoria?" He nodded, and I clubbed him again. "That wasn't me, you asshole. That was the crazy bitch across the street, but quiet frankly, she deserved it." I was so pissed. I couldn't believe he had my mask for all those years. "Wait." He said I was too busy to notice. "You were watching?" He didn't answer, only smirked.

"Jake, tase him," said Nessie.

"Untie him," said Edward. "I'm gonna kick his ass."

I left the room. Alice wasn't far behind me. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I really thought it would be him."

"I'm happy that it wasn't. Out of all the possibilities, I think James was the worst." Knowing that I hadn't had sex with him was a huge relief. I heard a crash downstairs. "Shit." My eyes widened and I started to rush back down, but they were already coming up.

"I'm gonna take him down to the station. Lock the door when you leave," said Jake. He had an unconscious James thrown over his shoulder.

Nessie was watching his ass as he walked out of the house. "I better get to work." She kissed me on the cheek before heading to her bike.

"Well," Alice sighed. "I guess I'll take down the cameras. Maybe I'll put some of the interesting pieces together and we can watch them later. A lot of interesting shit goes on in this neighborhood."

"Sounds good," I smiled. "Thanks for everything."

"No problem. See you later." She winked at me and left.

Edward and I headed over to my house. Other than a few bruised knuckles, he came out of the fight just fine. "I should be getting to work myself. I hate leaving you by yourself after that, so I took the liberty of getting you a lunch date."

That's when we heard a noise from outside. "Fat ass!"

I groaned, "You didn't." He smiled and kissed the corner of my mouth.

My front door swung open and Felix came in with a pizza. "Hey B and E! How's my favorite lovebirds?"

"See you later, cute ass," Edward whispered in my ear. He kissed me sweetly on the lips, shook hands with Felix, and then left me with my idiot friend. I'm glad he wasn't jealous of him anymore. I liked that he trusted me.

Felix and I ended up on the couch eating pizza and looking at some of my old photo albums with pictures from our glory days. I stopped on a page with the masquerade photos. I had been wearing a beautiful gold dress. At least I had my mask back now. I had one picture with the mystery man in the background. I don't know how many times I had stared at it before, trying to figure out his identity. His damn face was covered and his hair was slicked back. Hell, it could have been anybody.

"Hey! That asshole told me he didn't go to the ball," said Felix, looking at the picture over my shoulder.

"You know who that is?" I asked, trying not to get my hopes up.

He laughed. "B that's my brother. You didn't dance with him, did you?"

Shit. I danced with him alright. "I haven't seen him in forever. Does he live nearby?"

"Yeah. He lives about twenty-five minutes out of town. I could take you there, if you want," Felix offered.

"That would be great," I smiled, trying not to reveal anything.

"Well let's go!" he grinned. When we got to his truck, he had to move some sporting equipment out of the way. "Sorry. I was planning to hit the batting cages later."

I was racking my brain as we made our way down the road. I was trying to think of what I wanted to say to him. My eyes landed on the bat in between us, and I had an idea. Felix pulled the truck up to a nice house in a seemingly quiet neighborhood. "Do you mind if I go in alone? I want to surprise him." I needed to do this for myself. Plus I didn't want to be restrained.

"Alright," he replied easily. He wasn't even suspicious.

"Can I borrow this?" I asked, grabbing his baseball bat.

Felix shrugged. "Sure."

I smiled. "Thank you. I'll be right back." I hopped out of the truck and headed for the house. The door was unlocked. Some people shouldn't be so trusting. "Demetri?" I sang his name. My voice carried through the house.

I heard his footsteps before he appeared around the corner. He was a good looking asshole. His eyes widened with surprise. "Isabella? To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Strike one. "You son of a bitch." I gripped the bat with both hands and swung hard. It connected across his stomach, causing him to double over. "Did you think I would never find out?"

"Is," he coughed. "What are you talking about?"

Strike two. I popped him in the side. He fell against the wall, but still managed to stay on his feet. "It was you. I was an unmarried pregnant teenager who didn't even know who the baby's father was. Do you know how many times I was ridiculed and judged because you didn't come forward?"

He was still bent over with his hands on his knees. "I can explain."

"I'm waiting," I replied tensely.

"Isabella," he looked up at me. "You have no idea how bad I wanted you. You were always with my brother. I tried to stay away because you were so much younger than me, but that night I got my chance and I took it. I couldn't come forward. You were only seventeen. With me being so much older that you, it would have been considered statutory rape in Washington. You were the chief's daughter. I would have been arrested." He was pleading with me to understand.

Strike three. I brought the bat down on his back, and he went down.

"Whoa!" Felix came in the door, finding his brother in a heap on the floor. "D, you got your ass beat by a girl."

"If you didn't want to deal with the consequences, you should have kept your cock in your pants," I growled. "I made it just fine without you, but I shouldn't have had to. My son had to live seven years without a father because you were freaking scared of mine. I should castrate you!"

Felix winced and covered his crotch.

"I'm sorry," Demetri said quietly.

"You should be," I replied. "That boy is one hell of a kid, and you'll never get to know him." I turned around and walked out. Damn that felt good. I pulled out my phone to call for a cab, but Felix jogged out of the house.

"So I'm an uncle?" he asked, grinning like an idiot.

I looked at him in disbelief. "Shouldn't you be helping your brother?"

He shrugged, "Nah. He knew he had it coming. He'll live. Ready to go?" He hopped in the truck, so I got in beside him.

"You promise you didn't know?" I wanted to believe him, but it was hard. It was his _brother_.

"B, I may be a lot of things, but observant ain't one of 'em," he replied. I smiled then. I knew he was telling the truth. "Seriously though, I know my douche bag brother doesn't get to be Leo's old man, but I still get to be Uncle Felix right?"

I laughed. "I'll ask Leo."

He seemed pleased with this. He was singing along with the radio for awhile before suddenly turning it down. "You had sex with my brother."

"I'm aware of that fact," I replied.

"Who was better? Him or me?" he asked.

Was he serious? I smirked, "Edward beats you both."

Felix laughed loudly. "Hey! I was young. I've improved since then."

"I'm so not talking about this with you." I turned the radio back up.

When we pulled up at my house, I was surprised to find my driveway full of familiar vehicles. Alice hadn't been lying about the next family dinner being at my house. Felix invited himself along since he was now "Uncle Felix".

Edward met us at the door. "I thought I was going to have to hunt you down," he told Felix jokingly.

"You've got nothing to worry about," Felix replied. "Apparently you're a better lay than I am anyway."

"Thanks?" said Edward. I pushed Felix in the house and pulled Edward outside. I took his face in my hands and kissed him hard. He pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?" he asked when we broke apart.

"I found out who Leo's father was, and he made me love you that much more," I confessed. I told him everything that happened, how I found out and what I did about it. "I'm going to talk to Leo about it. I think he deserves to know."

He looked a little nervous. "What if he wants his real dad?"

"He won't," I replied. "He's team Edward."

We went back inside. Most of the adults were in the ball pit with the kids. I was surprised that Felix wasn't. He was holding Landon instead. When I looked at him questioningly, he shrugged, "I'm practicing. You never know when I'll get my own girl pregnant."

"Heaven help us," I replied.

"Mom!" Leo crashed into me.

I smiled and hugged him back tightly. "Hey, I need to talk to you. Will you come to your room with me?"

"Am I in trouble?" he asked quickly.

"Should you be?" I replied. He looked so torn on how to answer that question. I laughed and took pity on him. "You're not in trouble. Come on." We went up to his room and I sat next to him on his bed. "I wanted to talk to you about your father. I know who he is now." He looked horrified. I hadn't been expecting that. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

He stood up. "I don't want another father. I want Edward."

"Leo, come here." He let me hold him in my lap even though that wasn't cool for a boy his age. I wrapped my arms around him. "Edward loves you. He's not going anywhere. If he tries, we'll kidnap him." This got him to smile again. "You never have to meet your biological father if you don't want to. However, you're stuck with his brother as another uncle. I don't think you'll mind him though."

"Who's my uncle?" he asked curiously.

"Felix," I answered.

He grinned. "He's funny."

I nodded. "Do you have any other questions?"

"Will you come play with me now?" he asked.

How could I refuse a request like that? "Race you downstairs!"

We ended up in the ball pit with the rest of the family. Edward pulled me over to him. "How did it go?" he asked quietly.

"Good. You should talk to him about it later," I suggested. I thought it would be good for both of them.

"Okay," he smiled. "In the meantime, get on my shoulders. These people want to fight."

I looked around. All the women were teamed up with their men. Even Nessie was with Jake. The kids were sitting off to the side acting as judges. "Let's do this." He helped me on his shoulders.

"Bring it on, Bella," Rosalie taunted me. She and Emmett looked like a pretty fierce team.

The battle was complete and total chaos. Since Rosalie and Emmett bragged so much everyone worked to take them down first. I didn't see Alice go down while I was fighting against my sister. She fought dirty like always, but I could hold my own. I was about to get the upper hand when we were both schooled by Esme.

She and Carlisle looked so damn smug when Nessie and I finally managed to get to our feet. "Nice try girls," said Esme.

"We should be ashamed," said Nessie. "I blame Jake."

"Yeah, it was totally Edward's fault too," I agreed.

Both guys scoffed at us for blaming them.

"Well why don't you let Nessie on your shoulders, Bella?" Carlisle suggested. "We'll give you girls another chance."

Shit. "I think it's time for dinner." I ignored their teasing and escaped to the kitchen.

The rest of the evening went perfectly. We had dinner in the dining room that I had never thought I would use. I was surprised at how relaxed I felt after everything that went on that day, but sitting with those people, I felt like nothing else could go wrong. Of course, that was before I sent Nessie to my room to get Sophie a blanket.

"Isabella Swan!" she shouted. Everyone got quiet, waiting for her to come back and see what was going on. "You've got some explaining to do." She stepped into the room and held up a box. "Wanna tell me what you're doing with a motion censored mouse?"

Damn. Now she would be out to get me again. I turned to Edward. "Can I stay at your house tonight?"

* * *

**AN: Why didn't Edward kick his ass? It was Bella's problem. I wanted to let her handle it her way, so that she could get the closure she needed. Why didn't Bella castrate Demetri? Hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is. (According to Bree on Desperate Housewives, so it must be true.) Bella had every reason to cut his balls off, but I wanted her to be above that. For her to walk away like that (even though she beat him up a little; I couldn't help myself there), I felt that she was truly over it. And why the hell did I choose Demetri? Charlie Bewley. Google him. He's pretty.****  
**


	19. Chapter 19

**Edward**

Nessie had been giving Bella the evil eye for the rest of the evening. Obviously, her hatred of mice was more extreme than I had realized. Bella had yet to rat me out as her accomplice, but I wasn't holding my breath. However, I would be watching my back.

After everyone left, Bella wanted to get a few things done at her house before coming over. Ethan and Sophie wanted to stay with her, so I figured I would be by myself for a little while. I hadn't been expecting Leo to want to ride with me. Of course, Bella said it was okay, and I definitely didn't mind, so the two of us headed to my house.

"Your mom told me you guys talked earlier… about your biological father." I wish Bella would have told me what he said earlier. This made me nervous.

Leo scrunched his nose. "He's not my dad. He didn't want me." His voice was sad, but he shrugged as if it were no big deal.

I pulled the car over. "Hey," I said softly, getting him to look at me. "He didn't know you. If he did, there would be no way that he could have stayed away. As far as I'm concerned, it's his loss and my gain."

"You wanna be my dad?" he asked as though he couldn't believe it.

"If I can talk your mom into it," I replied. "Is that okay with you?"

His eyes lit up. "Yes!" Then he started rambling excitedly. "Can we go fishing? Mom tried to take me, but she caught a eel and jumped out the boat. Pop said she scared all the fish away. It was funny."

I chuckled. "I'd be happy to take you fishing, but right now we better get home before your Mom gets there. She'll think I kidnapped you."

"Can I drive?" he asked.

"Ask me again when you can reach the pedals," I compromised.

Leo smiled. "I had to try. Mom would have said no too."

If I was lucky enough to get to be his father, I knew then he would keep me on my toes. The kid was too clever for his own good, but it amused the hell out of me.

We beat Bella home, so Leo had the idea that we should bake something for when they got there. Luckily I had some of those ready-bake chocolate chip cookies in the freezer. The finished product would make us look like gourmet chefs. As long as Bella didn't find the package paper, she wouldn't know any different.

"Honey, we're home," Ethan sang as they walked into the house.

Bella was holding Sophie who breathed in deeply. "I smell cookies."

I smiled and kissed both of my girls. "Leo and I have been slaving away in the kitchen all night to make these for you guys."

"Really?" said Bella. "I use the pre-made ones."

Well shit. I sighed, "We did too."

She smiled. "Slaving away, huh? What? Could you not get the package open?"

"I did that part," said Leo proudly.

We all sat around the table eating cookies and drinking milk. The kids were telling us all about their stay at Carlisle and Esme's . We were a damn cute family. Eventually we got the children all washed up and off to bed. I threw Bella over my shoulder caveman style and headed for my room.

Of course she fussed the whole way. "If I wasn't afraid you'd drop me, I'd bite your ass."

I tossed her onto my bed. "I really wouldn't have minded." I dove on top of her.

Hearing the rain hit the window usually made it easier for me to sleep, but having Bella lying next to me must have canceled out the effect. I couldn't stop touching her. I had convinced her to sleep in my jersey again. Seeing my name on her back did strange things to me.

"Cullen, I love you, but why the hell are you groping me?" she asked, turning over.

"Sorry," I said, pushing her hair away from her face. "I thought you were asleep."

"I was," she smiled. "But I figured if you were gonna get lucky, I wanted to be awake for it." I leaned down and shut her up the best way I knew how.

There was a quiet knock on the door, causing us to break apart. Bella sat up while I went over to unlock the door, thanking God that Bella insisted on changing the sheets before we went to sleep. I found all three of the little ones in the hallway.

Leo looked at me apologetically. "Sophie was afraid of the storm." Ethan nodded the best he could. Sophie was about to fall asleep on his back. I had been so caught up in Bella that I didn't even notice the thunderstorm going on outside. I would have expected this otherwise. Ethan and Sophie only came to my room at night when there was a bad storm.

"I guess since Sophie is scared," I moved aside to let them come in. I took Sophie from Ethan, so he could move easier.

The boys got on either side of Bella. She wrapped her arms around them. "I can't believe you two, waking poor little Sophie up," she said teasingly.

Leo frowned. "How'd you know?"

"I'm a Mom," she smiled, kissing them both on the top of the heads. "You guys shouldn't be embarrassed for being a little scared. Everybody is afraid of something. Look at Edward, he's afraid of Pop."

I scowled playfully and lay Sophie down next to Leo before climbing in next to her. "I was not afraid of _him_. I was afraid of his gun."

The boys giggled and Sophie turned over, throwing her little arm across me. Bella smiled, "Alright, you two go to sleep. I hope neither of you are kickers." When they were all tucked in and sleeping, she looked over at me and smiled. "I guess we found another benefit to having such a big bed."

"I promise they don't do this often." I didn't want her to worry about having kids in the bed with us every night, assuming I could get _her _in my bed every night.

"I don't mind it every now and then. Soon they'll think they're too old for this, and we'll probably miss it," she said, lightly running her fingers through the boys' hair.

I leaned over to kiss her goodnight. "Go to sleep cute ass," I whispered.

"Night jackass," she replied.

The next morning I woke everyone up. It was obvious that only Ethan and I were morning people. Sophie fit right in with the Swans. We were going to take Ethan and Leo to school first and then drop Sophie off at preschool. None of them were looking forward to it. I helped the boys pick out their clothes while Bella took care of Sophie.

"You have to behave yourselves," Bella told them. "If you don't, it makes me look bad."

"I know the boys will be good," I said confidently. "No one wants to get sent to Principal Cullen's office." Rosalie loved kids to death, but she knew how to keep them under control. I figured she had plenty of experience from all her years with Emmett.

Leo was a little nervous since this was his first day at a new school. I knelt down in front of him outside while Bella filled out his paperwork. "A lot of your teammates go to school here, and you've got Ethan to show you the ropes. I'm sure you'll be one of the coolest kids in school in no time."

"Thanks Edward," he replied.

"Ready to go in?" Bella asked, coming back out. "I met your teacher Mrs. Cheney. She's very nice."

He nodded. "You can kiss me goodbye if you want."

The kid just made her day. She bent down and kissed his cheek. "I love you. Have a good day." She turned to Ethan and did the same. "I love you too. I'll see you this afternoon."

Our next stop was Sophie's preschool. She held both of our hands as we walked her inside. She didn't want us to leave at first, but her teacher Ms. Claire convinced her that they would have fun together. She was a little disbelieving at first, but once Claire told her about cookies at snack time, she was sold.

"You've got the day all to yourself," I said as I drove Bella back home. "Are you going to be able to handle it?"

"I believe so. I'm going to my house to work on my novel. Keep an eye on Nessie for me though. If she leaves the office, call me." She was cautious and I didn't blame her. Her sister was two steps crazier than she was. Anything could happen.

I kissed her good and hard before I left her to go to work. Since admitting how we felt about each other, the only thing to change had been the physical part of our relationship. She was still sarcastic. I was still a jackass. It worked for us, so why change it?

Nessie was sitting at her desk when I walked in. "Morning Boss!" she smiled. "Did you have fun sleeping with my sister?"

Two could play at this game. "Did you have fun sleeping with Jake?"

"Touché." She looked stunned yet impressed. "How the hell did you know about that?"

Shit. "Lucky guess?" She stared me down. I tried not to look guilty. "I should get to work."

Suddenly she gasped, "You were there too! That's why my closet door was shut, wasn't it?"

"Hold my calls," I called over my shoulder. There was no way I was turning back. I had just made Nessie's shit list.

I locked myself in my office and got right to work. Since my brothers and I owned the place, we didn't have to do much of the actual construction. Of course, we did sometimes anyway since we all liked to build things.

Every now and then I would peek out to make sure Nessie was still there. If she managed to sneak off while I was hiding in my office, Bella would never let me hear the end of it. The fact that she gave me such a hard time though was one of the things I loved about her.

My phone rang bringing me out of my thoughts. I checked to see who was calling and a smile instantly spread across my face. "Hello cute ass."

"_Someone's in my house."_

"What?" I was out of my chair and grabbing my keys.

"_I don't know who the hell it is. I don't recognize their voice, but they know me." _

I hurried out to my car. "I'm on my way. Where are you now?"

"_Sitting in my truck. I'm gonna run them over if they come out." _

Bella stayed on the phone with me until I got there. When I pulled in behind her truck, I rushed over to her and pulled her into my arms. "Are you sure someone's in there?"

"I don't have voices in my head if that's what you're asking," she replied. "He said my name and then he started taunting me. It's horror movie shit."

My first thoughts were of James and Victoria, but we had restraining orders against them. It couldn't be Demetri because Charlie ran him out of town. I wasn't the only one afraid of getting shot. I wasn't a hundred percent positive that Demetri made it away _without _getting shot. You don't mess with a man's little girl, especially the chief's. "What do you want to do? We should call Jake."

Bella shook her head. "I think we can handle this. I just got creeped out by myself," she admitted. "I carry a baseball bat in my truck now. I can use it. Do you have anything?" she asked.

"I've got a tire iron," I replied taking it out of the trunk. "Are you sure about this? What if he has a gun or something."

"Run," said Bella. "But I think if he had a gun, he would have gotten me already."

That thought made my blood run cold. I would kill anyone who hurt my Bella. Now I had a newfound need to catch the intruder. "Let's do this."

When I opened the door, I heard him. "Bella, come out, come out where ever you are."

"I think he's in my bedroom," she whispered.

We crept down the hall. I made sure she stayed behind me; the creep was still calling for her. When we made it to her room, I kicked open the door and stepped back. The taunting stopped. I tightened my grip on the tire iron and cautiously made my way forward with Bella right behind me.

"Charge!"

Bella screamed and I started swinging. A damn parrot flew down and swooped past us, going into the hall.

"What the hell?" I shouted. I was stunned that a damn bird had scared the shit out of me.

Bella was on the floor now laughing. "I'm sorry. We went all James Bond over a parrot."

"Come on!" I shouted. "The bastard is still in the house."

She stood up, trying to compose herself. "You're right. We need to defend our domain."

I nodded. "Damn straight."

"Bella! Bella! Come out, come out where ever you are." The damn thing was mocking us. I wasn't going to let it get away with this.

We made our through the house again; only this time, we kept our sights above us. Bella had traded in our bat and tire iron for pillowcases. I wanted to kill it. She wanted to catch it. I guess I was overreacting a little.

"Look out!" Bella shouted.

"Charge!" The damn bird lunged at me again. I dove towards it with the pillowcase, but missed, crashing over the couch instead. Bella tried to get him, but she fell over the coffee table. "Bella!" This continued for several minutes. We couldn't catch the damn thing.

"How did it get in here?" I asked.

The door opened and Felix walked in. He whistled and held out his glove covered arm. The parrot flew over and landed calmly on his arm. "Good job Venny" He grinned at Bella. "That's short for vengeance." Then he did his version of an evil laugh.

"Fat ass," said Venny.

"You son of a bitch," Bella growled.

"Time to go, Venny." Felix took off, taking the devil bird with him.

Bella crawled over to where I was lying on the floor. "That was a good one," she admitted.

"Do things like this happen with you often?" I asked.

"Keeps life interesting," she replied. "I'm sorry I pulled you out of work for this though."

I tucked some hair behind her ear. "I'm never to busy to save my damsel in distress."

She snorted. "You couldn't handle a damn bird. I'd hate to see you up against a dragon."

"You weren't much help either, tripping over coffee tables," I replied.

"I'm the damsel, remember? I'm not supposed to help!" she argued. We were both full of shit. She lay down beside me. "We'll have to wait a while before we retaliate. We need to give him a false sense of security."

I had a feeling we'd be in wheel chairs and this feud would still be going. I took her hand in mine, linking our fingers together while we lay our backs, staring at the ceiling. "As insane and frightening as that was, I had a blast."

"Oh thank God. I thought for sure you were gonna leave me after this one," said Bella.

"No way in hell," I replied. Was she crazy? "I'm not going anywhere." I groaned and sat up. "Except back to work. Nessie knows we were in her closet, so now we both have to watch our backs."

"That's good. Being pranked is more fun when I have a partner," she smiled.

I stood up and helped her to her feet. "I love you, cute ass."

She still frowned at that nickname. "I love you too jackass."

After work, I stopped by the hospital for a quick visit with Carlisle. He met me in his office. "What can I do for you son?"

"I want to marry Bella," I blurted out.

"I knew you were a smart kid," he replied.

"You don't think it's too soon for me to ask her? I don't want to mess this up." There was too much on the line. This wasn't just about me and her. If I lost her, I would lose Leo, and Ethan and Sophie would lose another Mom.

Carlisle leaned forward, resting his arms on his desk. "Son, time doesn't matter. It's different for different couples. If you love Bella, and you want to spend your life with her, then why wait?"

"I'm nervous," I admitted. "I want to do things right this time."

"You will," he promised.

"Why do you have so much faith in me?" I asked.

"She means too much to you," he replied. "_They _mean too much to you. I have no doubt that you will do everything you can to make them happy, and I know she'll do the same for you."

I nodded. I knew this of course, but having Dad confirm it made me that much more certain. I knew what I was going to have to do, and I wasn't looking for to it.

I was going to have to visit Charlie.


	20. Chapter 20

**Bella**

The kids were at school, and everybody else was at work. I was sitting at home typing away. I had started at least six different ideas, but nothing seemed to stick. I was taking a break when my doorbell rang. I was immediately suspicious. It was either a nosy neighbor or a prankster. I didn't really want to deal with either one, but I opened the door anyway. "Jake? What are you doing here?"

Whatever it was he didn't seem too happy about it. "I'm sorry Bella." He pulled out his cuffs. "I have to take you in."

I laughed. "Very funny Jake." Was this Nessie's prank? Getting me arrested? Been there; done that.

"Bells, please don't make this harder than it already is," he replied solemnly. He was a very good actor.

"Okay, I'll play along," I replied. "What did I do wrong, Officer?"

He turned me around, cuffing my wrists behind my back. "You're being charged with assault. I have to read you your rights now, okay?" He sounded so damn serious.

"Assault on who?" I asked.

"A woman claims you attacked her at her son's football tryouts," he answered, leading me towards his car.

Jane the Pain. Shit. "But that was forever ago," I argued. "Why is she pressing charges now?" Could you really get arrested for tackling a bitch? I needed to call Charlie.

Jake proceeded to quote my Miranda rights as he put me in the car. Shit! I was really being arrested. He didn't say much as we drove to the station. I went through the process of getting fingerprinted and having my mug shots taken. I even had to change into an orange jumpsuit. I'm not really sure that was necessary.

"I've got to put you in the holding tank," he said sadly. I could tell he hated doing this. Freaking Jane. He gently pushed me into the cell and shut the door.

"Hey Sissy." Nessie was sitting against the wall, wearing a similar jumpsuit. "What the hell are you here for?"

"Assault," I replied. "You?"

"Theft," she answered. "Apparently just because Jake let me off for stealing his car doesn't mean his superior did."

This didn't make sense. I sat down beside her. "Does this seem a little fishy to you?"

"You can't do this to me! I'll end up someone's bitch!" We were both surprised to see Alice pushed into our cell. She looked as shocked to see us. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Theft," said Nessie.

"Assault," I added.

"Video Voyeurism," she confessed. "Is it really my fault that your neighbors do it outside?"

Another angry voice caught our attention. "I at least better get copies. I owned those mug shots. And what the hell is an inchoate offense?"

"Rosalie?" we said simultaneously.

She whipped around. "What the hell?"

Before we could answer, Esme joined our ranks, wearing the same ugly jumpsuit. "This is preposterous."

"We've got theft, assault, voyeurism, and conspiracy," said Nessie. "What brings you here Momma Cullen?"

"I was arrested for prostitution," she said disbelievingly.

There was a stunned silence. "Damn Esme," said Alice. "I didn't know you had it in you."

Esme swatted her arm. "Why are we all in the slammer?"

"There's no way we could all be arrested on such ridiculous charges on the same day at the same time. Even _my _life's not _that _messed up," I told them.

"Your boy toys are getting us back for the lake monster," Nessie clarified.

"Those bastards," said Esme. We all gaped at her. It wasn't every day that Esme Cullen cursed her husband and sons, or anybody really. "They had us arrested? How on earth did they manage that?"

I pointed my thumb at my sister. "_Nessie's _boy toy. At least he's the one who brought me in, and to think, I was such a good neighbor to him," I said, shaking my head.

"How are we getting out of here? I am not calling Jasper to come get me," said Alice.

"I swiped the keys off the guard that brought me in while he was busy staring at my chest," said Rosalie. "Even in this jumpsuit, I'm one hot bitch," she remarked proudly.

"They would arrest us again," said Nessie, speaking from experience no doubt. "Don't worry. I sent my lawyer a text. She'll take care of it." She held up her phone. "A decent strip search would have prevented this. I'll order some pizzas. You can use those keys to go meet the delivery guy at the door."

How the hell our jail time turned into a confessional was beyond me, but the five of us sat around a couple of pizza boxes spilling our secrets and scandals of the past.

"I once broke a jock's nose with a lunch tray in high school because he wouldn't stop calling me an evil pixie," said Alice. "I would have shoved a spirit stick up his ass, but I figured they'd kick me off the squad for that."

"I disconnected the batteries in all the teacher's cars during exam week," Rosalie added before looking at me.

I guess it was my turn to go next. "I rewired the intercom system in the announcer's box, so I could make up my own commentary for the Homecoming game. I made it through an entire quarter before I had to abandon my microphone under the bleachers."

We turned to Esme. "What?" she asked innocently. "I was student body president. I didn't get into trouble." We continued to stare at her knowingly until she cracked. "I turned the teacher's lounge into a mock strip club. The rest of the council helped me. It's what turned me on to interior design."

"Nice," said Nessie. "I'd go next, but we'd be here all day."

Before we could protest, the guard was unlocking our cell. "You're free to go," he said nervously. The poor guy was so upset he didn't even fuss about the pizza.

I saw why when the tall dark haired girl stomped around the corner. "Ness, what the hell?" The guard flinched at the sound of her voice.

"It wasn't my fault this time," said Nessie. "We were the victims of a vicious prank."

"You pulled me away from work for a prank? I should kick your ass," the Amazon woman replied.

Shit. I stepped in front of Nessie. "Please don't. As her sister, I would have to step in, and to be quite honest, you scare me a little."

"Don't worry, Bell," said Nessie. "She wouldn't really kick my ass, would you Leah?"

Seeing the scowl on her otherwise pretty face, I wasn't so sure.

Sweet Esme stepped forward. "Hello dear. I'm Esme Cullen. Thank you for coming down here, and I'm very sorry for your troubles. Please let me make it up to you."

"Leah Clearwater," she replied, shaking her hand. "No offense, but I want to get home. Someone called me a fat ass when I was walking in here, so I need to leave before I commit a felony or two of my own."

"Oh!" Stupid Felix. "I know that guy. He didn't really call you a fat ass. That's his truck horn."

We were about to head out when the men came in. "Hello gentlemen," said Rosalie menacingly. "What brings you here?"

Emmett shook his head sadly. "My mother was arrested for prostitution."

Esme walked over and slapped his arm. "That was your idea, wasn't it?"

He grinned proudly, "Yes ma'am. Now, how did you get out?"

"Meet my lawyer, Leah Clearwater," said Nessie.

Leah glared back at them. "So it's your fault I had to come all the way down here." They were all smart enough to keep their mouths shut.

"Where are the kids?" I asked. It seemed like a pretty good question, seeing as how all of the parents were in jail.

"They're all with Felix," Edward answered. "You look really cute in that jumpsuit by the way."

"How could you, Edward? We're supposed to be a team. We fought a parrot together!" The jackass thought he could call me cute and I would forget that he had me arrested.

Nessie turned to Leah. "Why don't you come with me? You can meet my nephew and the guy whose truck called you a fat ass." That wasn't going to be good for Felix. Apparently that's what Nessie was counting on. "That'll teach him for calling me Loch Ness."

The Cullen couples around me were calling for truces. The stress of prank wars could be pretty tough, and we all had jobs and grown up things to worry about. They took advantage of having a sitter for the evening and decided to turn prank night into date night. I wondered if Nessie would let Jake off that easily. Probably not since he wasn't there for the lake monster stunt.

"Isabella," Edward gently grabbed my hands. "I promise never to work against you again." He kissed my knuckles. "Unless you start it, of course."

"We scared you a little at a campout. You had us arrested," I replied. His shoulders slumped in defeat. "However, we did foil your plans and get free, so I'm willing to call a truce with you for the time being."

He smiled crookedly and pulled me closer. "I really do think you look cute in that jumpsuit. What do you say we borrow some handcuffs and go back to my house before we pick up the kids?" His phone beeped before I could answer. He groaned and took it out of his pocket. "Damn," he cursed. "Apparently I have an appointment that I forgot about. Come with me?"

"I'm changing first," I replied. Cute or not I wasn't going to one of his appointments looking like a felon.

After following the directions, we pulled up outside someone's house. Edward frowned a little. "We don't usually meet people at their home first." He got out of the car and came around to open my door. "This shouldn't take long."

I was surprised to see Irina open the door. She smiled brightly. "I didn't think you would make it. Come in. We were just about to start." She pulled us both inside before we could protest.

"What the hell is she talking about?" I asked in a whisper. Edward looked as confused as I was.

"Everyone, this is my neighbor Bella and her boyfriend Edward," Irina announced taking her place next to Laurent. There were a few other couples in the room, including Mike and Jessica.

Laurent led us over to an available seat. "I knew you would join us one day, Ms. Swan. Welcome," he purred.

Aw shit.

"Edward," I said as quietly as I could manage. "Who scheduled this appointment?"

"Your sister normally puts them in the computer that sends them to us directly," he answered. "Why?"

"Because we're at a freaking orgy party," I whispered furiously.

Some blond guy lowered the lights and turned on some music. "Let us begin."

I watched in horror as my neighbors approached us with lust filled eyes. This was the last straw. I was so moving out of that neighborhood.

"Let's get you out of those clothes," Mike said huskily.

Edward grabbed me around the waist and moved us both backwards.

"Now, now," Jessica giggled. "You have to share."

"The hell we do," said Edward.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, trying to ignore the moans coming from the other participants in the room. "There's been a _huge_ mistake. We had no idea this would be going on. We're the monogamous types."

"You're shy. I understand. We'll go slow," said Laurent, reaching towards us.

Edward growled, "I swear I'll break your arm off."

"Feisty," said Irina, letting her eyes roam over my man's body. "I like that."

"Back off bitch," I snapped before I could stop myself. She looked a little affronted, but I didn't give a damn.

"Why don't you just watch for a bit?" Laurent suggested. "You can join in when you feel comfortable." As soon as they turned their focus on each other, Edward and I bolted.

Once we were far enough away and in the safety of our car, Edward spoke. "This is why I live in the woods."

I couldn't help but laugh a little. "They really are nice neighbors when they're not trying to seduce people."

"I'm sorry," he replied, "But when the most sane people in the neighborhood are you, Jake, and Nessie, that's a sign that it's time to move."

"Hey," I replied defensively.

He chuckled. Jackass. "Now everyone has gotten you back for your shit list shenanigans. What are we going to do now?"

"Let them sweat," I answered. "The only thing worse than someone getting revenge is waiting for someone to get revenge. Some people lose sleep over it." My phone rang, so I quickly answered it. "Hello?"

"_Bella?" _

I smiled. "Hi Ethan."

"_Are you coming home soon?" _

He sounded a little desperate. "Is something the matter?"

"_No ma'am, but Uncle Felix is tryin' to draw on us." _

I sighed. Felix was a big kid himself sometimes. "Have you guys eaten?"

"_Not yet." _

"Alright. Your father and I will come to your rescue," I promised.

"_Thanks! I love you." _

I had to smile again. "I love you too. See you soon." I put my phone down. "We've got to save the kids from their Uncle Felix before he ends up giving Sophie a mustache."

Edward grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips. "Okay, but I will get you alone sooner or later, cute ass."

"Looking forward to it, jackass," I replied.

When we got to the house, Leo met us at the door. He threw his arms around us both. "Hi folks."

"Hey silly," I smiled. "Where's your uncle?"

"He's tied up now," said Leo. "Miss Leah didn't like him very much."

When I got to the kitchen, I found Felix tied to a chair. "There's a crazy woman somewhere in your house, and for once I don't mean Loch Ness."

"Were you trying to draw on my children?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest.

He sighed. "You're not going to untie me, are you?"

I picked up a marker. "I'm sorry Felix. This is for your own good."

After letting each of the kids contribute to the artwork on Felix's face, we untied him. Of course, he immediately tried to tickle them to death, but he was a good sport and let them get the best of him.

Edward was holding Landon while I cooked dinner. He looked pretty damn cute holding a baby. He grinned when he caught me staring. I rolled my eyes and went back to cooking, hiding my smile from him. I couldn't have him getting a big head.

I didn't hear him leave the room to put Landon down, but soon he was behind me with his hands on my hips. He moved my hair aside and kissed my neck just above my shoulder. I trembled a little and felt his mouth form a smirk against my skin. "I love you," he said softly.

"I know. Why else would anyone put up with this shit?" I asked. Then I turned around and kissed him sweetly but quickly. I had food cooking after all. "I love you too."

Nessie sauntered into the room. "Oh hey you two. Boss, I thought you had an appointment."

I glared at her. "We were almost violated because of you."

Leah came in behind her. "I'm going to go now," she said tensely. "Tell that asshole that I left a present for him outside." Then she smiled. "It was nice meeting you."

"She seems… nice," said Edward once she was out of the room.

"Start fixing the kids' plates," I laughed.

We were about to eat when I heard Felix's manly scream. He came into the kitchen holding a box. "B, I've got bad news." He looked pretty heartbroken.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He showed me the remnants of my earlier prank. "The fat ass horn is no more."

* * *

**AN: Them being arrested does not go on their records. Jake and his buddies helped pull that one off, in case you were wondering.  
**


	21. Chapter 21

**Edward**

How hard could it be to talk to a woman's father? I was a grown man wanting to marry the love of his life, not some nervous teenager looking to get lucky on prom night. I was pacing back and forth in front of Bella's childhood home, trying to bring myself to knock on the door. Charlie and I had parted on good terms if I remembered correctly. Still, there was that small flicker of doubt that he wouldn't give me his blessing; that he didn't think I was good enough for his family.

"Cullen!" His voice made me jump. I hadn't heard him come outside. "You're gonna wear a hole in my doorstep. Get your ass in here already."

I cleared my throat nervously. "Nice to see you again, Charlie." He was already in uniform; that meant easy access to the gun. I knew he wouldn't kill me. I was a man with kids. However, getting shot in the leg or something didn't sound like something I wanted to experience either. I sucked it up and followed him inside, shutting the door behind me.

He motioned for me to have a seat on the couch. "How are the kids?" he asked politely.

"They're great," I answered. "The boys have managed to stay out of trouble for the most part. Leo had no trouble adjusting to a new school. I think being in the same class with Ethan helped, and Sophie has made several little friends in preschool. I'm sure my house will be overrun with three and four year old girls in no time."

Charlie chuckled a little, but it did nothing to relax me. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked.

"I'm fine, thanks," I replied. I'd probably spill it on myself anyway.

"Then let's cut to the chase," said Charlie, leaning forward in his chair. "You didn't drive all the way out here to say hello."

Shit. "No sir," I replied politely. "I'm here to ask for your blessing."

"For?" he asked, although we both were aware that he knew the answer.

"I hope to marry Bella and be a father to Leo," I answered. "They're already a part of my family. I want to make it official."

The man was staring me down, and the room was filled with a tense silence. Finally he grabbed the remote and turned on the television. I was confused. Was he really going to watch a game at a time like this? Then he picked up a separate remote. Without a word, he turned on a home movie.

"_Renee, now's probably not a good time," said Charlie tensely. _

"_My baby's having a baby. You think I'm going to miss this?" Renee responded from behind the camera. Teenaged Bella was gritting her teeth and taking deep breaths through her nose. She looked like she was ready to kill someone as she held onto the bars of the hospital bed. "Smile, honey!"_

_Bella glared at the camera. "Mom," she growled. _

_Renee stepped back. "I'll just move out the way," she said. She did just that but kept the camera on Bella as Charlie came to her side. _

"_Dad," Bella looked panicked now. "Daddy, I can't do this. I can't have a kid. I'll screw him up. I'm too young and too stupid to be a mom." _

"_Bells," Charlie managed to pry one of her hands loose and held it in his own. "I was too young and too stupid to be a dad, but look how good you turned out." _

"_I'm having a mystery man's baby! I'm hardly something you should be bragging about," she replied, even more panicked than before._

_He shook his head. "You're the bravest kid I know, and I'm damn proud of you." She looked truly touched for a moment before she clinched her eyes shut. Charlie winced, "That's quite a grip you got there, Bells." _

Charlie didn't leave his daughter's side while the doctor's coached her through the obviously painful process. Bella being Bella didn't cry once.

"_It's a boy!" the doctor announced. _

_Bella was panting. "Bring him here. I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind," she said weakly. As soon as the nurses had him cleaned up, they brought him over and gently placed the squirming blue bundle in her arms. She looked down at him and said nothing at first, just watched him. She forgot about everyone else in the room as a tear slipped down her cheek. "Hi," she said softly. Then she let out a watery chuckle. "I must say, I make a damn cute baby." _

_Charlie chuckled beside her. _

I didn't look away from the television even after the video was through. I was so… grateful, that he showed me that. "Thank you," I said sincerely.

"I thought if you were going to be my grandson's father, you would like to see how he got here," said Charlie. He turned the television off. "Bella is a grown woman. She would never do anything that wasn't right for her or for Leo. If she agrees to marry you, then I have no reason to say otherwise. She'd be too stubborn to listen anyway. You don't need my blessing, but you've got it anyway."

I could have kissed him, but he'd surely shoot me for that. "You won't regret this sir. I promise that no one will love them more than I do." I stood up to shake his hand instead.

His grip was more firm than usual. "You better," he warned. "You should probably tell me when those kids of yours have birthdays. If I'm going to be visiting more often, I'll need to schedule the days off ahead of time." I smiled and wrote out the dates for him. He even made me add my own. This wasn't just about Bella and Leo joining my family; it was also about me and my kids joining his. "When are you planning on asking her?" he questioned as he walked me out.

"Hopefully tonight," I answered. "I have one more person to talk to."

"Good luck," he told me. "Getting her to agree might be tricky." He gave me a pat on the back. "See you later, son." Then he went inside.

Why? Why did he have to tell me that, just when I thought I had nothing else to worry about? I got in my car and headed back. That gave me a few hours to stress over the possibility that Bella would say no. The very thought made me nauseous; I couldn't even enjoy my lunch.

I went straight on to the elementary school. Luckily, Rosalie was about to make her rounds, so she let me use her office to talk to Leo. He looked a little nervous when he peaked inside, but relaxed a little when he saw me behind the desk. "Am I in trouble?"

"No," I smiled. "Get in here. I wanted to talk to you." He shut the door behind him and sat down in one of the other chairs, looking a little confused. I stood up and took the small box out of my pocket. I walked around the desk and knelt down to his level. "I want to ask Bella to marry me. As the man of the house, I need to get your permission first." I opened the box to show him the ring. "What do you say Leo? Can I marry your mom?"

"Yes!" he answered immediately. "Me and Ethan will be real brothers, and I'll have a sister." Then he frowned. "Sophie's gonna need a sister, too."

I chuckled. "One thing at a time, kid. I've got to get your mom to marry me first."

He shrugged. "She loves you. Why wouldn't she?"

That was a damn good question. "Us grown ups can be complicated sometimes," I explained. "You should get back to class. Uncle Emmett is picking you guys up today. You get to go home with him after football practice. Make sure you keep our little talk a secret."

"Yes sir," he promised and started for the door. "Edward?" he paused. "What if Mom does say no?" he asked.

"No matter what happens, I will always love you and consider you my son. You'll still be Ethan and Sophie's brother even if your last name is Swan," I explained. He smiled and hugged me before running off to class.

Rosalie caught me before I left. "What's got you grinning like an idiot?"

"Nothing," I chuckled. "Are you sure you're okay watching the kids tonight?"

"It's only fair," she replied. "You and Bella watched Nate the other night while we went out. Now it's our turn to return the favor. That and Emmett is looking forward to playing video games with the boys."

"Don't let him corrupt my children," I joked.

"I'm not making any promises," said Rosalie. "Now get out of here. I've kids to scare."

I had Charlie's blessing and Leo's permission. Ethan and Sophie had already made it known that they wanted Bella as their mom and Leo as their brother, and the rest of my family would probably disown me if I didn't make that happen.

Proposing to Bella was not something I took lightly. I had spent countless hours trying to come up with the words to say and how to say them, but I still wasn't satisfied. Everything needed to be perfect; at least it needed to be perfect for us. A typical proposal wouldn't do. I finally decided that everything in our life happened because it was meant to be. Asking her to marry me would have to be the same way.

I had to go about the rest of my day as normal. Bella couldn't suspect anything. I may not have known how I was going to pop the question, but I knew when. With any luck, tonight would be one of the bests of my life.

When it was almost time for the kids to get out of school, I sent her a text.

_Hi. I don't really know how to say this, but I have your kids with me, and I was thinking maybe you would like them back. Call me._

My phone rang shortly afterwards. "Hey cute ass!"

"_What the hell did you do with our kids?" _

I laughed. "Emmett took the boys to football practice and Rose has Sophie."

"_So you thought you'd be funny and bring up that whole Bella Swan's a kidnapper thing again?" _

"It got you to call me, didn't it?" I replied smugly.

"_Jackass." _

"You should be excited," I smiled. "You get to spend the evening with me."

"_I'm thrilled." _

Okay, that was sarcastic. "You should be. I'm going to take you out for dinner. What would you like?"

"_Pizza. I've got a craving." _

"Pizza it is. I'll come over when I get through at the office," I told her. "I love you."

"_Love you too." _

We were going to have pizza the night I was going to propose. She did name her son after a Ninja Turtle, so it was sort of fitting.

When I went to pick her up, I noticed the slight bruising under Bella's eyes. She was exhausted. "Baby, have you not been sleeping?"

She sighed and shook her head. "This book business has been keeping me awake. Every time I get an idea, I have to write it down right , so I don't forget about it. Unfortunately, I get my best ideas while I'm trying to go to sleep."

"Do you want to stay in?" I asked. I didn't want her to be miserable. "We can order the pizza if you want."

"That would be great," she replied thankfully.

Nessie was out for the day. Bella said she was going to check out the campus. Jake was going with her of course to "keep her out of trouble".

I ordered the pizza while Bella got comfortable. She came out of her room wearing a pair of pajama pants and my old jersey. Her favorite article of clothing had my name on the back of it. That made me feel pretty good.

After we ate, I put in a DVD and cuddled up with her on the couch. Since she was dozing off during dinner, I figured it would be a good thing for her to relax. Sure enough she was out in a matter of minutes. I sighed. I wasn't going to be able to propose if she was unconscious.

Once the movie was over, I restarted it. I was paying more attention to Bella anyway, so it didn't matter. She was sleeping so deeply that, for once, she wasn't even talking. I took that chance to slip the ring out of my pocket. I looked at it and sighed again. Maybe it wasn't the night after all. I looked down at her again. She looked so beautiful sleeping peacefully, using my chest as a pillow. Her left hand was lying there, her bare finger mocking me. I couldn't take it anymore.

Carefully, so as not to wake her, I took the ring out of the box and slid it on the proper finger. I wanted to see what it would look like. It fit perfectly.

Of course, to my horror, Bella woke up. "Shit." My thoughts exactly. "I didn't mean to fall asleep." I quickly hid the box but there was nothing I could do about the dam ring as she sat up, stretching her arms high above her head. "I'm going to get something to drink. Do you want anything?"

I could only shake my head as she walked towards the kitchen. Double shit. Bella had just left the room, unknowingly taking her ring with her. I waited, holding my breath.

"Cullen?" She came back without a drink. Her eyes were glued to her hand. "What the hell is this?"

I took her hand and pretended to inspect it. "Looks like an engagement ring."

"How did it get on my finger?" she asked impatiently.

"I may have put it there," I confessed.

She glared at me. That couldn't be good. "Aren't you supposed to ask a certain question before you do that?"

"You were asleep," I argued.

"Oh," she replied. "Well that's understandable. Men propose all the time to unconscious women."

I stood up. "This is all your fault, you know. I've been stressing out all day. First when I went to get Charlie's blessing, then when I asked for Leo's permission, and finally when I got here and was terrified of being rejected by you. I planned on asking you at the perfect moment, but then you fell asleep, so I at least wanted to see what it would look like on your finger, but then you woke up, and-"

Bella interrupted my rambling. "Are you going to ask me the damn question or not?"

"Pardon?" She _wanted _me to propose?

"I know you don't think you're getting this ring back because it won't be leaving my finger anytime soon," she replied.

"Bella," I took her face in my hands. "Will you marry me?" I felt so damn vulnerable. Regardless of anything she had said, she was still the most unpredictable person I knew. The damn pause here wasn't helping.

Finally, she smiled beautifully and nodded. "Yes."

"What?" Yes? Just like that?

"If you want, I can wait for you to go to sleep and write it on your forehead," she replied.

I kissed her. I wrapped my arms around her, crushing her warm body against mine and kissed the hell out of her. She was going to marry me. I needed to say it out loud. "You're going to marry me." I kissed her again. "You're going to be the mother of my children." And again. "You're going to wake up next to me every morning and call me a jackass."

"Sounds good to me," said Bella. I had to press my lips to hers again. With her mouth moving against mine, I wanted nothing more than to carry her off to bed, but she pulled back. "We need to go get our kids." I sighed and nodded. She smiled. "You asked for Leo's permission. I think it's only right that I get Ethan and Sophie's. Then we'll put them to bed and make good use of that lock on your bedroom door."

I smirked. "Sounds good to me."

We didn't tell Emmett and Rosalie about the engagement yet. We wanted to tell the kids first. I noticed that every now and then Leo would try to get a glimpse of Bella's hand, but she was very good at keeping it inconspicuously hidden.

When we got to my house, we got them into their pajamas before sitting them down in the living room.

"What's going on?" Ethan asked.

Bella answered. "We know that you and Leo wanted to borrow each other's parent." He nodded shyly. "Would it be okay with you all if we made it official instead?"

Leo looked ecstatic, Sophie looked confused, and Ethan looked hopeful. "What do you mean?" he asked.

She knelt down in front of my kids, much like I had done to Leo. "Can I be your mom?" she asked simply enough, so Sophie could understand.

Ethan suddenly wrapped his arms around her neck and buried his face against her. Bella hugged him back just as tightly. They both had tears in their eyes, and they were both fighting to keep them there. When he finally let go, he simply nodded. "I would really like that."

"What about you, Miss Sophie?" Bella asked.

"Yes please," she answered with a big silly smile.

Bella laughed and kissed her loudly on the cheek. "Thank you both," she told them. "You don't know how happy that makes me."

Leo was about to bounce off the couch with excitement. "You're gettin' married?"

She showed him the ring. "How do you feel about the last name Cullen?"

"Leonardo Cullen," he said, trying it out. "It's got a nice ring to it."

I loved that kid.

Together, we tucked in the kids. Sophie smiled when Bella kissed her forehead. "Goodnight Mommy," she whispered.

Bella was about to lose it. "Goodnight baby."

We could hear the boys chattering away before we even got in their room. Much to Ethan's amusement, Leo was going through possible names to call me. "Daddy? Papa? Pa? Father? Padre?"

"Get in the bed," Bella smiled. They both scurried to their bunks.

Bella started with Leo while I tucked in Ethan. Then we switched.

Leo smiled at me. "I'm glad she said yes," he whispered.

"Me too," I replied. "Did you pick a name for me yet?"

He nodded. "Goodnight Dad." That sounded right. "Oh, and if we can't get another sister, how 'bout a cat? I think there's one named Splinter at the pet shop that Sophie would like."

I smiled and kissed the top of his head. "Goodnight Son."


	22. Chapter 22

**Bella**

My doors and windows were locked. Leo and I had even moved what furniture we weren't taking with us to block the doors in case someone managed to pick the lock. It was my day, and I was determined to wake up how I wanted. For the past couple of months, I had been bombarded with wedding plans. Those Cullens don't like to do anything halfway, so I ended up with a freakish amount of decisions to make.

Luckily, I had Nessie. She was now back in college, but she made frequent visits to do her laundry, get under my skin, and fight and makeup with Jake. She's the one that came up with our brilliant decision making system. Darts. I would choose the options I liked, she would randomly arrange them on a cork board, and we took turns throwing the darts. Whatever it landed on, I passed on to the ladies. They were impressed with my quick choosing abilities until they found how I did it.

There were only three things that I was picky about: the colors, the cake, and the groom. For everything else, I sought the help of others. Esme helped me pick the location, Alice helped me find the perfect dress, and Rosalie supervised the men with their tasks. She had the toughest job.

I had been to countless fittings, parties, and showers. Edward and I worked together to get his house ready for Leo and I to move in along with Shredder and the damn cat. We had to move the tree house too. There was no way we could leave it behind. Everything was set and planned. All I had to do was get dressed and say "I do".

I rolled over to my side and opened my eyes only to find a pair of little feet. Leo and I had one last night as just the two of us, so I played random games with him until he passed out on my bed. Apparently he had turned around sometime during the night. I reached over and lightly ticked the bottom of his foot to wake him up.

His sleepy giggle reached my ears, so I reached down and pulled him around so I could see him. "We need to get up and get moving. If we're going to be Cullens, we have to learn how to be on time for stuff."

"I need some coffee," said Leo, stretching his arms over his head.

"You don't drink coffee," I replied, tickling him again.

He jerked his arms down in an attempt to block me. "Okay, okay, I'll take juice."

"Are you all packed?" I asked. He and Ethan and Sophie were going to spend the week with their grandparents while Edward and I went on our honeymoon.

"Aye Captain," he replied.

I sat up. "Then let's get moving, kiddo."

We brushed our teeth and grabbed the few things we hadn't taken to Edward's. We weren't going to be living in this house anymore, but we would still visit. Claiming that he liked the neighborhood, Felix bought it along with the furniture I wasn't taking with me. I wished him luck. These people were nuts. Actually, he would probably fit in nicely.

I pulled up outside Emmett's house. I wasn't allowed to go inside since Edward was there, so I sent Emmett a text message to let him know I had arrived. He came out shortly with Sophie in his arms.

I leaned over and kissed Leo on the cheek. "Be good. I'll see you at the wedding."

He smiled. "Okay, Mom." He kissed me back. "I love you."

That kid seriously knew how to make my heart melt. "I love you too," I told him before he hopped out of the truck, waved at Emmett, and ran inside.

"Hey Sister!" Emmett grinned. "Ready to get hitched?"

"If the groom shows up," I replied.

"Are you kidding?" he laughed. "Jasper's having to hold him back now to keep him inside. The poor sap acts like one morning away from you will kill him."

I smiled and stepped out the truck to give the big guy a hug. "Try to keep my boys out of trouble. I want them all at my wedding in one piece."

"Don't worry. The Chief is on his way. I'm sure he'll keep us all in line," he replied. Then he passed me Sophie.

"Hi Mommy!" she said excitedly.

"Good morning," I smiled. "Are you ready to get away from all these boys?" I asked, and she nodded vigorously.

Emmett laughed and kissed us both on the cheek. "See you ladies later."

I buckled Sophie into her seat, and the two of us went to meet the ladies at the salon. Nessie met me at the truck. "Did you have to invite her? She's driving me insane," she complained as she picked up Sophie.

"Ness, she's our mom. She has to be at my wedding," I replied.

"My baby's getting married!" our mother squealed as she ran towards me with her arms wide open. She tried to squeeze the life out of me.

"Hi Mom," I managed to get out.

Renee kissed me loudly on the cheek before turning around. "And this must be little Sophie. Oh, you are so cute! I could just eat you up!" Sophie didn't know what to think of the quirky woman.

Nessie took a step back. "Don't scare the kid, Mom."

"Shush Renesmee," she chided gently.

I couldn't help but laugh at the menacing look on my sister's face. "Come on guys. Let's go inside."

We spent the day getting our hair and nails done. Esme had brunch catered to the salon, so we didn't have to go out. Other than Renee fussing with Nessie over her highlights, everything went smoothly.

Rosalie bribed Sophie with candy to get her to sit still long enough for the stylist to fix her hair. She was going to be our flower girl of course. Ethan and Leo thought they were too big to be ring bearers, so they asked to be ushers instead. Felix promised to make sure they got everyone to their seats, but I trusted the boys more than I did him.

"How are you doing, dear?" Esme asked sweetly.

"I'm a little nervous," I admitted.

She patted my hand. "That's perfectly normal, but I assure you, you have no reason to be. You are definitely doing the right thing by marrying my son."

"Oh, that's not why I'm nervous," I replied. She looked at me questioningly. "I don't want to fall in the creek while I'm trying to get to the gazebo."

Esme laughed then. "Charlie won't let that happen. You're going to be fine."

With our hair and makeup done, we moved our little party to Edward's house… our house. Alice helped me with my dress. The dainty little buttons were pretty, but they were a bitch to fasten. "Now," she said, turning me around to see a mirror. "Aren't you glad you didn't use the darts to pick out your dress?"

"Knock it if you want," said Nessie, "but it picked out yours."

There was a loud knock at the door. "Everybody decent?" Felix shouted.

"Get in here big mouth," said Rosalie teasingly.

He peaked his head in and scanned the room to find me. "Damn B! You clean up good," he grinned. "My fellow ushers wanted to see you before we head out there." He stepped aside to let Ethan and Leo pass.

Leo adjusted his little suit jacket. "Good afternoon ladies." He was immediately attacked with cheek kisses.

Ethan rushed over to me. "You look really pretty, Mom."

I never got tired of him calling me that. Edward and I were officially adopting the children when we got back. There was already a party in the works for when it happened. "Thank you," I smiled. "And you're looking handsome yourself."

"It kinda itches," he told me, tugging on his collar.

"This does too," I replied, pointing to my dress. "Wanna trade?"

He grinned and shook his head. "No thank you."

Leo finally made it over and whistled at me. When I gave him a look, he smiled proudly. "Uncle Em taught me to do that."

"Whenever he teaches either of you anything, come see me before you do it," I replied. "That goes for your other uncles and Nessie too." They both laughed and nodded.

Felix huffed. "I still don't see why I couldn't be your maid of honor. You have to like me more than Loch Ness."

Nessie scowled at him. "Keep talking," she threatened. "I've got pepper spray hidden in my bouquet."

"Felix, you would look ridiculous in that dress," I told him. "And Nessie, hand over the pepper spray."

"If Emmett is best man, I might need it," she protested.

I shook my head and turned back to the boys. "See what I mean? Don't let either of them teach you anything."

"Yes ma'am," they replied.

"Come on men," said Felix. "We've got a job to do."

Leo hugged me first. "Good luck, Mom. Don't fall in the creek."

"Get out of here," I laughed, sending him to Felix.

Ethan hugged me next. "Thanks for marrying my Dad."

I kissed his cheek. "Thanks for wanting me to."

"You people are so damn cute," said Nessie.

"Renesmee," Renee scolded. "Language."

"Who the hell are you kidding?" she replied. "My first word was bullshit thanks to you."

Her eyes widened, but I could tell she was trying not to laugh. "That is not true."

Nessie laughed. "You're right. It was bull_sit, _but you all knew what I meant."

Rosalie checked the time. "We need to get this show on the road. Let's go girls." She took my adorable little girl by the hand and followed the other women out.

"Who knew kidnapping kids would stick me with a husband?" I sighed as I took one more look in the mirror.

"Bells?" I turned around to see Charlie. "You look beautiful."

I hurried over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thanks Dad," I said softly.

He patted my back before stepping back. "I've got my gun. That fiancé of yours still thinks I'll shoot him. He fears me. I like that."

"I would tell you to put it away, but Renee's out there. I wouldn't leave you defenseless like that," I replied.

"I appreciate that," he said, offering me his arm. "I guess it's time for me to give you away."

We walked arm in arm outside to find Felix waiting in a golf cart. "I wanted to take you there on an ATV, but Momma Cullen wouldn't allow it." Seeing him behind the wheel, I almost decided to walk. The guests had done it, and it wasn't that far away. Charlie helped me get in and made sure Felix didn't drive like a maniac. Edward wasn't the only one afraid of getting shot.

I could hear live music playing when Felix stopped the cart. We were in time to see little Sophie heading down the makeshift aisle, dropping flower petals as she went. Charlie sighed, "We're up next."

I clung to his arm. "Don't let me fall."

"Wouldn't dream it," he chuckled quietly.

Esme had set us some damn lattice wall, so I couldn't see until we got to the arch. Of course, that made it to where they couldn't see me either. I was never a fan of being the center of attention.

I looked for Edward as soon as I got to the aisle. "Damn," I whispered when I saw him. I felt Charlie nudge me lightly with his elbow for cussing, but I couldn't help it. My fiancé was one sexy guy. The look he gave me in return made me get that ridiculous warm and fuzzy feeling. What the hell? It was my wedding day. I could be a sap. How I managed to make that man look so damn happy, I had no idea.

"Told you," Charlie whispered.

I briefly looked away from Edward and was shocked to find that we had already crossed the little bridge. "Shit," I whispered, earning another elbow.

"Bells, you can't swear at a wedding," said Charlie.

"The hell I can't. It's my wedding," I whispered back. I looked back to Edward. He looked amused now.

Reverend Weber stood beside him. Emmett had volunteered to marry us, but we didn't trust him to not to crack Mistress Marie jokes in the middle of the ceremony, so he settled for best man instead. Jasper and Jacob were the other two groomsmen. We figured it was fitting for Jake to be a part of our wedding, since we were friends, and he was there when we first met. He had been there to arrest me, but that was beside the point.

When it was time for Charlie to let me go, he kissed my cheek. "Love you, Bells." Then he took his seat next to my already weeping mother.

"Hi," said Edward.

I smiled like a damn fool. "Hey." I was pretty sure the reverend was talking. I hoped somebody was getting it on video because one day I would like to know what he said.

We didn't screw up the wedding much to everyone's surprise, including our own. We spoke when we were supposed to and even managed to say the right things. The goofy smile never left my face, and his eyes never left mine.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." God bless the reverend.

"About time," Edward whispered before pressing his lips to mine. The crowd applauded and Leo whistled. "I love you," Edward said before kissing me again. Things were perfect until we started back down the aisle. "Well, Bella the beast, how does it feel to be cute ass Cullen?"

I gaped at him. "You can't swear at a wedding."

He laughed. "Hypocrite. You so said shit when you crossed that bridge. I'm fairly sure the reverend even heard you."

"Oh," I smiled. "Whoops."

When we passed under the archway, Edward pulled me to him again. "Let's get out of here. Those people can have a party without us. I've missed you all day."

I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I would happily run off with you, husband, had I not picked out the perfect wedding cake."

"I like it when you call me husband," said Edward.

"Don't get used to it. I'm sure you'll be back to jackass in no time," I replied teasingly.

"You two don't have to flirt anymore," said Emmett, coming up behind us with Nessie. "You're married. You don't have to make an effort." Rosalie, who was walking with Jasper, punched him in the arm.

Jasper chuckled and sighed. "Don't listen to him. Just remember to nod your head and say 'yes dear' and you'll be fine."

"Shut up, Jasper," Alice fussed.

"Yes dear," he winked at us.

"I married into a family of loons," I told Edward.

"Do you really want to compare our sanity levels?" he asked. "You _do _remember how we met, don't you?"

I knew he was going to bring that up. "Let's go see about that cake."

The reception was perfect even though someone snuck in a small karaoke machine. Edward and I were in the middle of our first dance when Emmett and Jasper started a terrible rendition of "At Last".

"Excuse me for one second, Mrs. Cullen," said Edward. He casually strolled across the patio, unplugged the machine, and tossed it in the pool, earning laughter and several appreciative cheers from our guests. "Now where were we?" he smiled, pulling me back to him.

"It's moments likes these that make me love you all the more," I laughed.

Because they were too lazy to write their own speeches, Emmett and Nessie went the sentimental route and had the kids make the toasts.

"If I have to share my mom, I'm glad that it's with you," said Leo.

"Thanks for making Dad happy, and us happy too," said Ethan.

"May your life be filled with joy and lots of smiles and fun," said Leo, looking down at the small paper they held between them.

"Cuz your single days are over, but our family's just begun," said Ethan.

They helped Sophie stand on a chair. With a big smile, she held out her little cup of punch. "To the Mom and Dad!"


	23. Epilogue

**Edward**

"Cute ass!" I shouted when I walked in the house. I tossed my keys on the table and took off my tie.

The love of my life walked into the room with a baseball bat in her grasp. "You called?" Since her Mistress Marie days, she had become successful with a young adult book series. Since there had been plenty of interesting drama in her life, she had a lot of inspiration.

"Happy birthday," I smiled. I pulled her to me for a kiss. The feel of her lips on mine never got old. "Now, what the hell are you doing with that bat?"

"Noah's creature got loose. I'm taking care of it before he gets home from school," she answered. Noah was our nine year old. He was a little on the mischievous side, but overall he gave us the least amount of trouble. Felix got him an iguana for his birthday, knowing that Bella couldn't stand the oversized lizards.

"Baby, that's inhumane," I replied.

She shook her head. "I would think so too if the damn thing hadn't been in the shower with me this morning. I'm glad the kids weren't home. I practically streaked through the house."

I pouted. "Sorry I missed it."

"Jackass," she smiled. "Are you going to help me or not?"

"I'll catch it for you," I told her, bringing her hand to my lips to place a soft kiss on her knuckles.

"Thank you," she replied. When we first got married, she liked to do most things for herself. Somehow I finally convinced her that I wanted to do things for her because I loved her, not because I thought she couldn't do them for herself.

I searched every room for the reptile starting with Sophie's. She was now a beautiful thirteen year old who played for the junior high soccer team. For my last birthday, Charlie bought me a gun in case I needed to keep any little boys away.

There was no sign of the iguana in her room or any of the boys'. Leo and Ethan had both started their senior year of high school. They still played football and were practically heroes in Noah's eyes, especially since they let him hang out with them. They were the best big brothers a boy could ask for.

I went into Mikayla's room. She was our youngest at seven years old. I was curious as to why Bella chose that name, but in no time, Leo had nicknamed her Mikey. He even used some of the money he earned from our bad language habits to buy her a plush Michelangelo ninja turtle when she was a baby. Looking at her, you would assume she was an angel. In reality, she was exactly like her mother.

"There you are." I found the scaly thing standing as still as a statue on Mikayla's vanity table. I was a pro at catching it, having done so many times before. I wouldn't put it past Felix buying our son an iguana that was trained to escape. I took it into Noah's room and made sure it couldn't get out of it's tank again.

"MOM!" I heard Sophie yell, and I had to smile. The kids were home.

I headed downstairs to see what was going on this time. Noah and Mikayla were sharing a bag of chips as they watched the scene before them. Sophie was standing behind Bella with her arms crossed over her chest. Ethan and Leo stood in front of Bella looking a little uneasy. They were taller than her now, but they still got nervous when they got "the look". "You kidnapped your sister?" she growled.

Ethan gave her his best charming smile. "Did I tell you how pretty you look today?"

"That doesn't work on me and you know it," she replied. "Tell me why you felt the need to drag your sister away from her friends and force her into the car. I thought I raised you both to be gentlemen."

"We are," Leo protested. "But those little creeps ogling her weren't. You know how boys that age are."

"Yes, I do," said Bella. "So if Sophie can't have guy friends at school, then you two can't have girl friends outside of school. You know how boys your age are." They gaped at her. "What's it gonna be?" she asked.

"Sorry, Sophie," they both replied.

Sophie still didn't look happy. "You embarrassed me in front of my friends." They both hated it when she was mad at them.

Ethan sighed. "What if we drive you and your girl friends to the movies to make up for it?"

"We'll even suffer through a chick flick, but we're sitting on a different row from you guys. I'm not fighting off the advances of thirteen year olds," he shuddered, thinking of the last time Sophie had a sleepover. Both he and Ethan were considered high school heartthrobs, so they had to lock themselves away for the night to escape the clutches of the giggling girls.

"Deal," Sophie smiled. "And I promise if a guy ever bothers me, I'll gladly let you beat him up."

Bella chimed in. "That's one problem down." She turned to Noah. "Scales got out of his cage again."

"Mom, he really likes you. I can't help it that you're so cool that everyone wants to be around you," said Noah. The kid was a little smooth talker.

"Maybe I should start being meaner. That would fix that problem, don't you think?" Bella asked.

"I'll be more careful," he conceded.

Mikayla smiled cutely when Bella turned to her. "Happy birthday Mommy."

"Your Aunt Rosie called me today. Did you toilet paper the boys' bathroom?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"You told me not to lie, so can I skip that question?" Mikayla replied.

"You're helping the janitor clean Monday while your brothers are at football practice." Mikayla pouted, but Bella simply shook her head. "I've told you repeatedly, if you're going to do stuff like that, you can't get caught."

"Yes ma'am," she sighed.

Bella smiled, "Now, it's my birthday. Why aren't you people hugging me already?" I laughed as I watched them trap her in the middle of their group hug. "Hey!" she shouted at me. "You're not excused from this either."

"Yeah Dad," said Leo. "Get over here." He held out his arm to make room for me between him and Sophie, and I happily obliged. My family was loud, crazy, and perfect.

"Speaking of birthdays," I smiled. "Everyone will be here in about an hour, so you guys should get your homework done before then." There was a collective groan as the kids headed into the dining room and spread out their books. We never ate in there, so it was nice that they found a use for that table.

Bella wrapped her arms around my waist and wrested her head against my chest. We watched as Sophie helped Mikayla with her Math. No one had been more excited than Sophie when we found out that Bella was pregnant with a girl. Of course they fought with each other like most sisters do, but it never lasted long.

Noah never asked for help, but he did let Bella and I or one of his siblings check over it when he was finished.

We had to watch Leo and Ethan when they were younger. Since they were in the same grade, they figured they could split the workload and share answers. They put up a very convincing argument, but of course we shot them down and made them do their own work.

The doorbell rang and Bella rushed to answer it. "Dad!" she smiled as Charlie came in. He was now married to a lovely woman named Sue. When I first met her, I never would have guessed that she was the scary lawyer's mother.

Bella greeted both her father and stepmother before leading them further into the house. I shook Charlie's hand and kissed Sue on the cheek before they were attacked by their grandchildren.

The family began to show up in small groups. Jasper and Alice arrived with Landon. After hugging us, he ran off to play with Noah. "Hey birthday girl," Jasper smiled as he kissed my wife on her temple.

"Hey big brother," she replied.

Then came Carlisle and Esme followed by Emmett and Rosalie with Nate and Lily. Nate was Emmett junior at almost twelve years old. Lily was the same age as Noah, and while she looked like her mother, she was much more delicate. Having Bella and Rosalie pregnant at the same time made Jasper and Alice decide they were happy with just the one. I didn't think it was so bad, but I was pretty much whipped, so my opinion was biased.

"Happy birthday B!" Felix shouted when he burst through the door. He held his squirming six year old under his arm. No one ever thought he would get married, much less have kids. However, the saying "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," isn't entirely accurate. Carlos was conceived at the Monte Carlo Hotel and Casino the same night that his parents drunkenly tied the knot.

"I swear if you weren't good in bed, I would have killed you already," said Leah. Marriage hadn't softened her a bit, but being the lovable idiot that he was, Felix loved it. He spent his days looking for new ways to piss her off, so they could spend their nights making up. She liked to bitch, so it worked for them. They were both good parents though. Of course, Felix was more of the nurturer while Leah was the disciplinarian.

The doorbell rang one last time. We all knew who it was. Jake would have waved had he not had a little girl in each arm. Sarah was six and Bailey was four. "Happy birthday Bells," he smiled.

"Hey!" said Bella happily. "Thank you for coming. Where's the ball and chain?"

"Seriously, that is no way to talk about your sister," said Nessie. She jumped on Bella, wrapping her legs around her and kissing her loudly on the cheek. "Who's the birthday girl?" she cooed.

"Get off me, psycho," Bella laughed.

The house was overrun with children and equally noisy adults. This happened anytime we all got together. Emmett suggested that Bella write a new series called "The Baby Makers" in honor of our family, but she claimed that no one would believe our stories anyway.

Esme started hinting that it was time for a new little one in the family. I had never seen a room clear so quickly. Felix sighed, "I guess I'll take one for the team. Let's go, Leah."

"I'm not drunk enough," she replied much to her mother's dismay. Felix went to the kitchen to make her a drink.

"They're such a lovely couple," Rosalie said sarcastically, causing both Bella and I to chuckle.

Carlisle got everyone's attention. "I would like to make a toast." He held up his glass. "To Bella: a wonderful daughter, a loving mother, a crazy sister, and my son's perfect wife. Happy birthday."

I put my arm around her and she leaned into me. She mouthed a thank you to Carlisle as the others chorused a mixture of "To Bella!" and "Happy Birthday!"

"Bella, I'm so sorry about this," said Alice.

"About what?" we both asked.

The music started, and we groaned. "You thought we'd forget," said Emmett, grinning like a fool with a microphone in his hand. "Sing it, brother."

We suffered through the vocal stylings of Jasper and Emmett. I would have tossed out the karaoke machine again to save us all the torment, but they were guarding it closely this time.

"We're not inviting them to anything else," said Bella.

"I think they've gotten worse over the years," I replied, rubbing her arm soothingly.

Jake and Nessie only fought once, but it was more playful than anything else. He got the piece of cake that she wanted, so they wrestled for it. It didn't really matter who won since Charlie slipped the cake to their daughter Sarah anyway.

After everyone was finished with dinner and cake, Bella opened presents cautiously, just in case she was on anybody's shit list. She made it through the entire process unscathed. No one wanted to mess with us too much anymore. We had an army of five to back us up.

Seeing as how most of us had little children, we called it a night at eight-thirty. Our kids volunteered to clean up the kitchen since it was Bella's birthday. I took the opportunity to steal her away for a few moments. We took one of the ATVs to the gazebo.

"Dance with me?" I asked, offering her my hand.

"Are you going to sing?" she replied as I pulled her to me.

"Of course," I smiled. I moved my mouth to her ear. "Happy birthday to you." She laughed a little. "Shush, you'll ruin it," I teased. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear cute ass. Happy birthday to you."

She pulled back to look at me. "It wasn't cute back then, and it's definitely not cute now."

I let my hand slide down her back and grabbed her ass. "What are you talking about? Your ass just keeps getting better."

"Jackass," she replied, lightly hitting my chest.

I caught her hand and kissed it. "I love you."

She smiled beautifully. "I love you too."

We continued to dance slowly around the gazebo, the place where we first confessed that we loved each other and the place where we promised to be together forever. "Aw!" We turned around to find all five of our kids watching us.

"You remember that time Mom caught you two dancing?" Sophie asked Leo and Ethan.

"Hey!" said Ethan. "We were practicing."

"It paid off too," Leo added. "No one danced with more girls at our first Spring Fling than the Cullen brothers," he said proudly.

Bella laughed. "Still, I'll never forget your faces when you saw me watching."

"Why don't you two show us how it's done," I suggested.

"Nah," said Leo.

"We wouldn't want to show you guys up," smiled Ethan.

We sat down and the kids surrounded us. "We wanted to give you your present, Mom," said Noah. "Sophie did most of the work on it."

"I would have told you about it," Mikey confessed, "but they threatened my life."

"That didn't work though," said Noah. "We had to bribe her. I used my cuss word money to buy her a sundae."

"It was good," she smiled.

I cut in. "Where did you get cuss word money?" Bella and I had cut down a great deal in front of the kids, so we wouldn't go broke.

"From them," he replied, pointing to Ethan and Leo.

"Which is completely unfair since we're the ones that taught him about cuss word money," said Leo.

"So you should know better," Noah argued.

Sophie smiled. "The kid's got a point." Ethan and Leo reluctantly agreed. I saw it as sweet justice. They tried to take all of our money and now they were losing theirs for the same reason.

"Can I please tell Mom what we got her now?" Mikayla begged. "I'm going to explode."

"Go ahead," I relented.

"We wrote you a book!" she announced excitedly.

Bella looked shocked. "Really?"

"We all contributed different stories, and Sophie put them together," Ethan explained, bringing the book out from behind him. It was something we had been working on for awhile. Charlie, Nessie, and Felix helped us by sharing stories about Bella before we got to meet her.

"Can we read some of it?" Noah asked.

"Yes! I can't wait to hear it," said Bella.

The kids took turns reading their favorite parts. It was nice to sit with each other and talk about our favorite memories. I knew there were plenty more to come. I looked over at Bella to see her eyes glistening with tears. She was still a hard-ass most of the time, but the kids had a knack for finding her soft spot. I leaned over and kissed her cheek, causing her smile to widen. "The best part is the title."

"It was supposed to be _The Story of Isabella Cullen_, but Dad changed it at the last minute," Sophie explained.

Bella slipped the book out of Ethan's hands to look at the cover. She groaned and read it aloud, "_Bella Swan: Kidnapper_." She looked at me with a smile. "It's funny how something so stupid ended up being the smartest thing I've ever done."

I laughed. "Wait until we write the sequel."

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading! I know there are some people that hate happily ever after endings with a bunch of babies, but since this story has been nothing but fluff and giggles from the start, I figure those people flounced a long time ago. :) If you're interested, you can read Jacob and Nessie's version of this story that includes a few new scenes with Bella, Edward, and the kids. (Including when Bella is knocked up with Noah.) It's called Officer Goodbody.  
**


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